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Malia Obama Learned to Drive (Drunk??) From the Secret Service

Congratulations to Malia Obama for becoming the latest teenage child of a president to learn how to drive. First comes a cool selfie, then a slight tug away from Dad as he embarrasses you for the trillionth time by grabbing your hand the White House North Lawn, then a driver's license to free you from the… » 4/08/15 4:46pm 4/08/15 4:46pm

Sebastian Vettel Is Probably Still Hungover

Pour a little Advil and Whataburger out for our homeboy in the comically oversized racing suit. After claiming his fourth win at Sepang International Circuit and his first win for Ferrari, Sebastian Vettel told Eddie Jordan point-blank how he planned to celebrate: "I wanna get pissed probably tonight." » 3/30/15 10:19am 3/30/15 10:19am

Tony La Russa Not Convincing in Field Sobriety Tests


Both Jalopnik and sister site Deadspin covered news of Cardinals manager Tony La Russa being a sleepy drunk driver back in March, but now we can see the video evidence. On November 28th, prosecutors in the case finally released the video from the cruiser and booking proceedings. Frankly, we're surprised that Mr. La… » 12/05/07 5:45pm 12/05/07 5:45pm

Naked Man Causes Accident on I-95, We Find His MySpace Page

In what must be the most interesting thing to happen in Delaware since the Revolutionary War, Ardonas Gilbert was arrested for running around naked and drunk on Interstate-95. Passing motorists tried to stop him, but he attacked them and ran cursing back onto the Interstate, causing three separate accidents. Who is… » 11/21/07 1:00pm 11/21/07 1:00pm