Drunk Navy Guy Didn't Really Use a Raccoon to Trick His Car's Breathalyzer

Idiots everywhere were taken in over the weekend by the irresistible story of a Navy petty officer who was too drunk to turn off the anti-DUI system on his car, so he grabbed a raccoon from a nearby park and squeezed some of its tiny, feral breath into the breathalyzer. The car started, according to the incident…

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An Engineering Student Got So Drunk, He Doesn't Remember Designing a Sweet Plane

An unnamed Michigan Tech student who’s been giving interviews under the alias “Mark” got blackout drunk Friday night and stumbled home to his roommate. This would hardly be news—Mark puts his pants on one leg at a time and drinks to sloppy excess just like the rest of us—but when Mark puts his pants on and drinks to…

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