Drunk Navy Guy Didn't Really Use a Raccoon to Trick His Car's Breathalyzer

Idiots everywhere were taken in over the weekend by the irresistible story of a Navy petty officer who was too drunk to turn off the anti-DUI system on his car, so he grabbed a raccoon from a nearby park and squeezed some of its tiny, feral breath into the breathalyzer. The car started, according to the incident… »10/01/15 1:58pm

An Engineering Student Got So Drunk, He Doesn't Remember Designing a Sweet Plane

An unnamed Michigan Tech student who’s been giving interviews under the alias “Mark” got blackout drunk Friday night and stumbled home to his roommate. This would hardly be news—Mark puts his pants on one leg at a time and drinks to sloppy excess just like the rest of us—but when Mark puts his pants on and drinks to… »9/08/15 6:24pm

Football Fan Passes Out, Wakes Up With $900 Uber Bill

An Ole Miss football fan, apparently sorrowfully tired and perhaps a bit blotto after the team's loss to Texas Christian University in the Peach Bowl last week, decided to call Uber, the official car service of Capitalism™, for a ride home from the game. No big deal, except that the game was in Atlanta, and this Ole… »1/05/15 5:41pm

Now There's A Party Bus That Will Inject You With Magical Fluids To Cure Your Hangover

Not that you have ever, ever overindulged on alcohol, but if you had, you'd know that it can result in some serious pain the next day. Fortunately, a company in Las Vegas is pioneering a new, extremely convenient way to help you recover quickly from your retched suffering. Hangover Heaven promises to rid you of your… »4/12/12 10:45am