<![CDATA[Jalopnik: dream cruise]]> http://tags.jalopnik.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jalopnik.com.png <![CDATA[Jalopnik: dream cruise]]> http://jalopnik.com/tag/dreamcruise http://jalopnik.com/tag/dreamcruise <![CDATA[Is There A Future For American Motoring?]]> The Dream Cruise was astounding-not merely the cars, but because cars were celebrated during a time of economic instability, environmental worries, and changing definitions of personal mobility. So what's the future of the Dream Cruise-and auto enthusiasts in general?

It's difficult to judge the attitude of a million people, even if those million people share a common interest in the form of tens of thousands of amazing cars. There was no question everyone was having a blast at Woodward. People were happily falling all over themselves to tell you when they'd bought their cars or where they'd found them, explain what they'd done to them, and tell you stories and lies about them. But although there was no question they were having the time of their lives, there was an undercurrent of pessimism, and perhaps even a little anger. In addition to the usual They-Don't-Build-‘Em-Like-This-Anymore and The-Golden-Age-Of-Cars-Is-Over-Forever harangues you get whenever classic car guys get together, there were a lot of angry jeers directed towards Cash for Clunkers, hybrids, environmentalism, safety measures, and other carpocalyptic trends in the broader society — not to mention a strong undercurrent of Kids-These-Days-Would-Rather-Play-Video-Games.

It hardly needs repeating that no — the evident immortality of the small-block and the solid rear axle aside — they don't build ‘em like they used to. And this isn't the place to go into how, with more reliability, efficiency, and survivability, this isn't all bad. What's worth discussing is whether any of today's cars are the sort of machines that will patrol Woodward in 30 years, God willing, and some folks just don't see it happening. A look at the showrooms is inconclusive, because while you can get a meat-eating monster of a Camaro or a Mustang, can you really afford it if you're just out of college, the way you could with many of the originals? Looking at it another way, in ten years the young rodders of the future will have the opportunity to buy and mod the cast-off new cars of today. What will they have to choose from? Next year's new Fiesta, maybe, but what else? And make no mistake, customization is key; even the folks behind the Scion offerings recognized that, never mind that their kits were oriented less to performance than making sure the driver was dramatically lit. If you can't make your car absolutely your own, demonstrate some creative ownership instead of just being a car owner, you aren't part of the scene.

And will there be a scene at all? You may have noticed that the Dream Cruise took place on an Ozone Action Day, an air-quality alert thing declared by regional governments; as forty thousand engines idled proudly beneath signs telling us not to fill up our car's tank during daylight hours. Easy to laugh it off, but you had to be prepared to do so coughing and with watery eyes, because the air was soupy with unburnt hydrocarbons and we don't mean the smell of bacon. Sure, gasoline is the next best thing to bacon for a lot of us, but not to everybody, and certainly not to the people who keep going on about how the petroleum is running out while we're trying to have a good time. Which is annoying, because so many of those people are so young, and so many people keep telling them cars are evil.

And in the end, that is the big worry. If we're honest, we care more about car culture than we do about cars; says so up top there. Will car culture survive all this?

We say yes, it will. It will get harder-face it, when gas was cheap and cars were somewhat cheap and they taught driver's ed and auto shop in almost every school, it was easier to be a gearhead, and you could fall into it almost by accident. But kids will always love cars. We're not all that worried about today's kids having nothing to work on, not after the love we saw Pacers and Pintos and Vega wagons getting at Woodward; people are adaptable, especially car people, and they will modify anything. We're not too worried about people giving kids the message that cars are evil, because kids love evil. But we're not worried at all, not the least little bit, about the "kids these days" because of this fact: Throughout history, whenever anyone's disparaged the "kids these days," they've been wrong. They've just been afraid of being out of touch, of the world going on without them, and of change, technological and otherwise. The car guy you hear complaining about Today's Youth at Woodward is feeling the negative part of nostalgia-that realization nothing stays the same-and down deep, he's probably just worried that someday they'll stop making replacement jets for his Holly double-pumper. Car guys don't get much more afraid of change than that.

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<![CDATA[Badvertising Of The Woodward Dream Cruise]]> The Woodward Dream Cruise attracted over one million cruisers and car-obsessed nuts. That's a lot of eyes for advertisers to drool over. While some pitches were good, many were not. Here's some of the worst. We call it "Badvertising."


Prostate exam! Cruisers, come and get your FREE prostate exam! While they're spot on with the target demographic, it's leaves a bad taste in our mouth... Er, doesn't sit well with us... .

Vine oil? No idea what that is, but it couldn't hurt to get it changed, I suppose.


Aren't monster trucks themselves practically rolling billboards to begin with? Substituting a real truck for an inflatable truck advertising Firestone tires has a certain element of the surreal.


Ponderosa "Steak" House isn't high on the list of restaurants we've prayed to see turned into a mobile feed bag, and just thinking about a piping hot plate of ten-hour-old macaroni and cheese served out of a converted police-horse trailer got rid of our hunger, perhaps forever.


Wait, didn't we already cover the free prostate exam?

Here's a tip admeisters - if you want people to pay attention to an ad touting yet another social media website placed amidst a sea of hot rods and muscle cars, sloppily bungee-cord it to something other than a Dodge Avenger.

Elvii? Really? There's a lot of unfortunate Cosplay that goes on at the Dream Cruise, but this use of the image of Elvis to sell exercise equipment, a man admittedly not known for fitness in his later years, seems poorly planned, especially on the anniversary of his death. If you want to scare us into fitness, put one of them on a toilet.


Despite all outward appearances, this is not an advertisement for industrial grade LSD. No, its an eye-catching car pitching a local mega haunted house, and considering the must-look nature of the thing, plus the fact the kids seemd to like it, it's probably the most successful of the badvertisements.

Your opinions on the subject may vary, but these stalwarts of good-time-ruination are always present at Woodward. Apparently, they believe gross-out tactics at massive celebrations are the best way to win hearts and minds short of going to churches and shooting people who disagree with them.

TheDivorceGuy.com? Classy, sure, but can this possibly work for him? Who is going to look at this and think "Oh, yeah! You know what I need? A divorce!"

This is actually an example of "Goodvertising" but only in that those little chicken bites look so tasty. The wordplay, however, leaves a bit something to be desired. Next time, Wendy's, don't try to be our friend. Just use the picture. People actually will look up and think "Oh, yeah! You know what I need? Delicious chicken!"

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<![CDATA[Cops Cruise Woodward Avenue On Nerd Chariots]]> The Segway was the high-water mark of nerd-tastic transportation until the T3 Motion three-wheeled chariot came along. The local police had 'em to patrol this weekend's Woodward Dream Cruise. And believe us, nobody respected their authority. Gallery below.

We actually feel kind of sorry for these cops. How can you project an air of control over an armada of the baddest cars ever built when you're scooting around on a ride more suited to a sci-fi convention ? These guys are showing up to a gun fight with a kazoo.




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<![CDATA[Circuit-Covered Cruiser Looks Like A Computer Vomited]]> Easily one of the oddest and most time-consuming art cars we've seen at the Woodward Dream Cruise is "THIS IS CARPUTER," a Ford Escort with thousands of square inches of silicon circuit boards glued to it.

This magnificent curiosity took an astounding 10 months at 10 to 20 hours per week, and is the work of Ernie Brostek, who amusingly does not have a computer himself. Each piece was cut, filed and sanded to fit the contours of the car and then glued in place. Click next to be astonished at the list of electronics that went into its creation.

  • 56 Computers
  • 8 Printers
  • 6 Cordless Phones
  • 5 Copiers
  • 4 VCRs
  • 4 Telephones
  • 3 Cell Phones
  • 3 Fax machines
  • 3 Stereos
  • 3 Cash Registers
  • 2 DVD Players
  • 1 Radar Detector
  • 1 Home Alarm
  • 1 Plasma TV
We were expecting a partridge in a pear tree somewhere in there.

























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<![CDATA[Crazy Euro Car Boy Meets DeLorean for First Time]]> Despite being as European as an American car can get, our Euro car boy has never seen a DeLorean before. His first impressions follow.

A small gathering of DeLoreans off to the side of Woodward Avenue allowed me to have my first-ever close-up glances of a DeLorean DMC-12. Several of them, in fact. A very European touch here at the Dream Cruise, with the French engine, British engineering and Italian design.

Even up close—and looking at cars with their time travel devices removed—it’s hard to consider the DeLorean as an actual production automobile insted of a movie prop or an expensive piece of professional kitchen equipment. Perhaps it’s all the stainless steel and the very 80s taillight cluster.

I asked the amiable gentleman pictured on top in the shirt advertising the glories of Kazakhstan what it was like to own one. He pointed out that it’s definitely not an everyday car, with a lackluster engine, too much weight, lousy handling, and so on. But then it doesn’t have to do or possess any of that: all it needs is the ability to rip tears in the space-time continuum.

Which, judging by the license plate, his example is more than able to do.

Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage all day!

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<![CDATA[The Right Way to Drive a Smart Car at the Woodward Dream Cruise]]> While the Smart is a road car, the Woodward Dream Cruise is definitely not where it was designed to travel. There is, however, a way to pull off the most unlikely trick of cruising in one here.

You can show up at the Dream Cruise in a Smart Fortwo, but this is considered disrespectful to the audience’s eyesight. As the Smart is an order of magnitude smaller than anything out there on Woodward, the viewer’s eye has to perform constant adjustments to correct for the perspective. This strains the tiny muscles in the iris of the eye—the dilatator pupillæ and the sphincter pupillæ—which can cause discomfort.

The considerate thing to do if you decide to cruise in a Smart is to cruise in a fleet of them. A line of Smarts will have a combined length comparable to a regular American muscle car, which allows for a more pleasant viewing experience from the curbs of Woodward Avenue.

This is what Verizon has decided to do, sending out a fleet of Smarts. But secondly, you want to dress the Smarts up in something pleasing to the doughy and fleshy Americans watching the rolling Amerigasmic cruise. Which is why Verizon's Smarts are wearing the livery of Penske Racing’s NASCAR team, which it sponsors. In the name of every dilatator pupillæ and sphincter pupillæ muscle present, a hearty thank you to all involved.

Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage all day!

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<![CDATA[How Big Is The Woodward Dream Cruise?]]> Despite 1.1 million attendees and 250,000 classic cars along 14 miles of metro Detroit roadway, the Woodward Dream Cruise rarely makes top lists of major world-wide auto events. A helicopter's necessary to reveal the massiveness. Luckily, we've got one.

Because those 1.1 million auto enthusiasts and 250,000 classic cars are stretched along 14 miles of metro Detroit's largest and most storied road, it's hard to get across how huge this uniquely American event really is — and why it's the largest single-day auto event in the world. That lack of consolidation in one meadow or on one track may be one of the reasons it hasn't built the same traction as other major car events across the globe. Without a way of capturing it all in one shot or series of shots, it's been an event you had to experience for yourself to understand the width and breadth of it and exactly how unique and special it was. Until now.

The folks at WXYZ-TV, metro Detroit's ABC affiliate, are on the ball, putting "Chopper 7" into the air to capture these stunning shots of the biggest classic car event most of America and most of the world's never heard of. Take a look at a few of the shots they've agreed to let us run here at Jalopnik, then cruise on over to WXYZ's website to see the rest. [WXYZ]

Photo Credit: WXYZ
Photo Credit: WXYZ
Photo Credit: WXYZ
Photo Credit: WXYZ

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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise Tragically Misinterprets Ozone Action Day]]> Hundreds of thousands of metro Detroiters came out today with their muscle cars to the Woodward Dream Cruise, misinterpreting today's "ozone action day" declaration by the Southeast Michigan Council of Governments (SEMCOG), believing ozone must be destroyed. [DetroitNews]

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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise: Challenger Smokes Tires For America]]> We’ve already shown you the general pace of the cruise, it's comparable to a person walking. Click through for a video of what happens when a gap opens up on Woodward Avenue.

It is worth mentioning that roughly a minute after the Challenger drove past them, one of the gentlemen on the side of the road uttered the term YEEHAW! in a non-ironic way. This is something I have never heard before.

Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage all day!

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<![CDATA[Army Invades Dream Cruise, Fills Tank At Speedway]]> It's both massively cool and somewhat disconcerting to see a seemingly military-spec truck filling up at a public gas station in a region that’s not occupied by an army... yet.

We saw this one loading up on gas right off Woodward. Nobody was in any particular hurry. Which can probably be explained by the size of the tank, visible up close on the second photo.




Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage all day!

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<![CDATA[World's Largest Cupcake Revealed At Woodward Dream Cruise]]> The Guinness Book of World Records just delivered the award for the world's largest baked cupcake here at the Woodward Dream Cruise. The confection tipped the scales at 1500lb and had to be carried by forklift.

As belligerently large as the cupcake is, it was originally planned as a 7 foot tall, 6 foot diameter, 7000lb monster, unfortunately the cake collapsed upon itself as it was baking, and a new one in much less ambitious dimensions had to be made overnight. Money went to Susan B. Komen breast cancer awareness funds.









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<![CDATA[Hipsters On Bicycles Seek To Screw With Woodward Dream Cruise]]> Apparently hippies-on-bikes in Ferndale are looking to screw with the Woodward Dream Cruise by massing at 9 Mile and Woodward. As you can see, all eight of them will likely be easily dispatched of by one Mustang's open-ended burnout.

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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise: Riding Down Woodward In Bumblebee]]> “Phyllis,” our Transformers Camaro, is equipped with a sunroof. Here’s what the view is like cruising down Woodward. Click through for video.

As you can see, traffic is moving at pedestrian pace. If you’re lucky, you’re stuck in between interesting cars. If not—it’s random SUV’s and sedans all the way.

Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage all day!

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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise: This Maserati GranTurismo's A Long Way From Italy]]> It’s always good to see a Maserati GranTurismo and this gray one we found on Woodward was no exception.

While the GranTurismo does have a V8, it sticks out from the crowd here. The engine is a Ferrari-sourced flat-plane V8 as opposed to the vast amounts of cross-plane V8’s cruising down the avenue.

Not that Maserati per se is alien to the Motor City, if you’ll remember the Chrysler TC by Maserati from 1989. We’ve yet to see one of those, though.

Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage all day!

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<![CDATA[A Different Kind of Horse Trailer]]> Sometimes, a single Mustang just won’t cut it—but driving two is far beyond the reach of human anatomy. Click through to see a gallery for a solution to this maddening problem: a Mustang and a half.

Vents to cool off the brakes on a high-performance trailer always come in handy. If they weren't stick-ons.

35th Anniversary Mustang + ½ of a 35th Anniversary Mustang = 52.2nd Anniversary Mustang. This car, then, is from the future: 2014 to be specific.

Unfortunately, the supersize snake growing out of the second hood used as the cover of the trailer is not part of the package.

The hood scoop should provide for ample ventillation.

Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage all day!

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<![CDATA[How To Tart Up Your Mustang GT500 In Just 15 Easy Steps]]> Ford's Woodward Dream Cruise presence each year is called "Mustang Alley" and it's found in downtown Ferndale. This year they're showing different ways to aftermarket accessorize your FoMoCo Mustang. They've labeled 15 of them on two new GT500s. Gallery below.
















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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise: A Plague Upon All Your Movie Houses]]> Awesome as the Woodward Dream Cruise is, many businesses on Woodward Avenue harbor a Biblical hate for it in their hearts. The marquee of the Magic Bag theater in fabulous Ferndale is going all Old Testament on us. [DetroitNews]

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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise: Show Us Your Pics!]]> We've shown you what we're cruising in at this year's Woodward Dream Cruise, but now it's time for you to show us yours. Add a shot of your cruiser in the comments below or alternately, use Twitter!

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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise: Good Morning From Woodward!]]> Jalopnik’s Euro-flavored team is already here on Woodward. Keeping with our theme of driving a movie car at the Woodward Dream Cruise, we’ll be cruising in a Transformers logo-emblazoned Camaro after driving Knight Rider's KITT last year.

It’s barely past breakfast time on a lovely Michigan morning and Woodward Avenue is already abuzz with the sound of Detroit automobiles. We are generally concerned for the safety of drivers of the lone Toyota or two meandering onto the Avenue. The Dream Cruise is about as American as you can get without landing a manned spaceship on the Moon.

We will be out cruising in a yellow Camaro 1LT RS given a Transformers makeover by its makers: black stripes and robot decals. Please wave if you see us or if you're in the vicinity of the Starbucks at 13 Mile and Woodward.

Rumor has it that certain members of our team refer to this particular Camaro not by its proper moniker of Bumblebee but by the more feminine name of Edith. Which is all wrong: her name is actually Phyllis. Phyllis with the V6.

Everything appears to be set for an exciting and undoubtedly surreal day. Don’t go away.

Keep a close eye on our Woodward Dream Cruise tag page for coverage throughout the day!

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<![CDATA[Woodward Dream Cruise: What You May Have Missed Last Night]]> If you're here in Metro Detroit and weren't on Woodward, then you, our friend, missed out. We were there and so was Detroit's ABC affiliate. Here's their video of what Woodward looked like. My god, it's full of cars! [WXYZ]

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