Jalopnik: dragons

Samsung: Putting Dragons And Trucks Together At Last

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:00:00 EDT

What do a dragon sculpture on the back of a truck made to look like it's always staring you down and a cell phone have in common? Yeah, nothing, but apparently that's one way the Samsung Soul is being marketed across southern England. A Ford Transit with a dragon on it's back. Let the jokes start in 3... 2... 1... (Thanks Scott) [Youtube]

Sex With Cars All The Rage In Scotland

Travis Hudson — Tue, 20 May 2008 14:20:00 EDT

It must be car sex day around these parts because now another dragon has surfaced in Scotland. An 18-year-old is being accused of running around his Crannog Way, Kilwinning neighborhood naked and humping every vehicle in sight. Callum Ainsworth, the dragon in question, has denied the accusations and will face a trial this summer on charges of public indecency. Let's just hope he went for the tailpipe like any professional car-humper, rather than compromising the integrity of the car's body work. (Thanks, Vanessa) [Irvine Times via BB] (Image via Getty)

Dragon Power Station Gets Energy From Semi Trucks

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 01 May 2008 11:20:00 EDT

Hmm. How to go about this delicately? Terry Kenney is the inventor of something called the "Dragon Power Station", it's a system of plates and hydraulic compressors taking advantage of the weight of passing semis to convert potential energy to electricity. The system is embedded in the road around low speed areas and tractor trailers squeeze the Dragon plates together until hydraulic fluid gushes out at the capture station, where it is converted to power by a generator. The system is currently installed at the Port of Oakland and is expected to generate 5,000 to 7,000 kilowatt-hours of electricity a day when refined. Dragons with semis? Expect horrifying new artwork any time now. (h/t to Eddie, you sick dragon lover) [NCMOnline]

Henry Ford Was A Dragon, Liked To Fuck Cars

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:20:00 EDT

In addition to being a dragon and having the alias of Sandy Wong, apparently, according to the Kids in the Hall, Henry Ford didn't seem to like the Jews so much. Who knew? [Kids In The Hall via Funny or Die]

Commenter of the Day: Detroit Auto Show Dragons Edition

Wes Siler — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:30:00 EST

For better or worse, dragons have become something of a meme around here. Well, it looks like they're here to stay, with Spense delivering a comment in the BMW Hearts Diesel piece that seriously had the entire staff in fits here in the Cobo Hall press room. Check it out after the jump.

Spence: That is seriously cute. Diesels are for dragons kinda like Sarah Silverman is for straight guys. She's kinda funny looking and probably a little psycho, but you still wanna [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] her.

Wow.

Detroit Auto Show: BMW Hearts Diesel

Detroit Auto Show: Amphibious Tang Hua Detroit Fish

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:15:00 EST

We practiced our love with the Tang Hua Book of Songs earlier, and now for the less phallic, more idiosyncratic Tang Hua Detroit Fish. "Detroit Fish" would be an odd name for a car if it weren't for the fact that this fish can evidently swim. Yes indeed, this is the only amphibious crossover at the Detroit Auto Show. While this might not be the most popular segment at the moment, Tang Hua's marketing team has an ingenious strategy - sell one to President George W. Bush for use on his Texas ranch. Tang Hua wants the renowned environmentalist to help kick start its US product blitz with some top notch product placement.

Detroit Auto Show: Tang Hua Book of Songs Has a Funny Shape

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:25:51 EST

Tang Hua is one of those Chinese companies in the basement that is unabashedly pitching its bizarre wares at the 2008 Detroit Auto Show. The terrible trio of yellow fiberglass and awesome lined up in their stand made us want to love the upstart manufacturer - in that way. Travis couldn't restrain himself. We're not going to say anything unseemly, but if you look at the profile of the "Book of Songs" upside down, it may look a little, um, suggestive. The etched plexiglass information kiosk is in the gallery if you want to know details on the little electric car. We'll take a closer look at another of their offerings shortly.

Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:15:00 EST

It keeps happening. This time, a british man has been given probation after a "sexually aggravated breach of the peace" that involved him attempting to, ahem, mount his bike. According to the local police the man's cleaners found him "holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." The man initially claimed that he had been drinking and there had been some sort of misunderstanding. Maybe the bike was teasing him?

Sheriff Colin Miller was the unlucky person stuck with having to give the quote to the press: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Oh God! We think we knew what's happening to all those Rare Falcons. Where's Beowulf when you need him? [BBC News]

Commenter of the Day: We So Horny Edition

Jonny Lieberman — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:15:00 EST

You knew this was coming. Though with the insane amount of what seems to be high school testosterone flying around this joint there were many more big dorky losers than winners. I'm guessing about 72% to 28% depending on the breaks. Still, the gold buried in that 28% is quite shiny. Picking just one winner for COTD honors at first seemed like quite a task. But then, b.borrman stepped up to the plate and knocked the ball out of the park.

The Bonus Question of the Day (BQOTD for those who track such things) was, "What would drive on a date with Jezebel's Slut Machine?" Today's winner said:

Being a dragon, I [am] much more interested in which car SHE'S driving.

Mr. Borrman, between both teams, Jalopnik and Jezebel, we collectively don't own enough hats to properly tip at you. And for the record, Slut Machine's car appears to be just a 2-door Camry. Sorry man.