Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: No
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: No
Working Stiffs: Yes
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: No
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: Yes
Golfing Grandparents: No

Also Consider:
• Ford Crown Victoria P71
• Chevy Impala 9C1
• '74 Dodge Monaco
• Increasing road safety by encouraging good driving behavior and motorist education instead of focusing on narrow-minded and ineffective speed enforcement

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Dodge
• Model year: 2008
• Base price: $29,160
• Price as tested: $29,740
• Engine type: 5.7-Liter OHV V8
• Horsepower: 340 @ 5000 RPM
• Torque: 390 @ 4000 RPM
• Transmission: 5-Speed Automatic
• Curb weight: 4150 pounds
• LxWxH: 200.1" x 74.5" x 58.2"
• Wheelbase: 120.0"
• Tires: P225/60R18
• 0 - 60 mph: 5.9 seconds
• EPA fuel economy city/highway: 15/23 MPG
• NHTSA crash test rating: ***** front

Also see:
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part One
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Two

Acceleration: ****
On paper, 340 HP may not look as impressive today as it once did, but when you stomp on the go pedal and wake up the four Hemi V8 cylinders that were taking a nap to save gas, those horses feel plenty strong indeed. Maximum power from the 5.7-liter mill comes in at 5000 RPM, and 390 lb-ft of torque is cranked out at 4000 RPM. And while it may not be exceedingly loud, the Hemi does provide a snorting soundtrack.

Braking: ***
With ABS and vented discs on all four corners, stopping performance is adequate, especially considering the massive size and weight of the Charger. What's important is the car feels stable and controlled during emergency-stop situations.

Ride: ***
Benefiting from the Mercedes-derived four-wheel-independent suspension, the Police Charger certainly feels better than the softly sprung solid-axle boats of yesteryear. But the sheer size of the car may make you feel a bit like you're in an SUV that's been hunkered down a few inches, though overall the ride is comfortable enough for a day's worth of patrolling.

Handling: **
You don't expect a car like this to go around turns well, and it doesn't. Body roll isn't as bad as some cars, but there's lots of understeer. Even with the traction control off, the car is hard to coax into a powerslide. You'll be fine chasing down a murderer in an Iroc-Z on the expressway, but you'll need to call-in a roadblock to catch a Porsche on a winding back road.

Gearbox: *
There's just something so nostalgically right about a column-shifter in a big American car. The five-speed automatic works fine for normal driving. However, the autostick feature is nearly worthless. Even my small thumbs struggled to properly operate the tiny +/- button for manual shifting.

Audio: *
The bargain basement stereo isn't impressive, though if you're busy listening to your police radio, we imagine it's sufficient.

Toys: **
With no sirens, no radios, and no flashing lights installed, our Charger had nothing to play with. If you want to install all the cop goodies, the Charger's ready to go with an upgraded battery and alternator — and all that would have moved the star rating to the top. Still, the spotlight is fun for making punk teenage drivers squirm night driving on unlit country roads.

Value: ***
Though we hear it all depends on what kind of deal your municipality can strike up, a Hemi-powered Police Charger starts at just over $29,000. That's pretty good if you want a brand new muscle sedan. Though a Ford or Chevy will cost less if you just want a cruiser. That's not even mentioning the endless supply of pre-abused P71 Crown Vics that are practically given away at police auctions.

Overall: ***
The Dodge Charger Police Edition is a squad car with the attitude to intimidate bad guys, and the muscle to run them down. It takes old-school flavor and brings it up-to-date, while retaining the simple charm of a big V8-powered American cruiser. So what do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile or what?

Also see:
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part One
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Three

It's got cop tires, a rough n' ready cop suspension and rubber floors. Most importantly, it's got a Hemi under the hood — the big 5.7-liter 345 cubic-inch 'plant. The engine helps this big Dodge make me feel ready for some silver-screen type stunts. Thoughts flash through my mind of arriving at the opposite side of a slightly raised drawbridge at full speed, but unfortunately, the bridge was down — my hopes of truly testing the stout suspension dashed. I'd have to settle for the curbs I'd hopped coming off the expressway to give me a feel for the resiliency of the Chrysler tested and police-approved chassis.

I slide up to see Hardigree wearily checking his watch, anxious to continue our pilgrimage across the city. No, we're not on a mission from God, not looking to reunite a band and save an orphanage. We're here to reunite this car with its spiritual home.

There's something universally menacing about the blacked-out Charger. Yes, anyone on the highway noticing the spot lamp poking out of the driver side A-pillar will move out of your way, but that's true with any decommissioned police car. The Charger, however, has an extra level of attitude, emanating from that strong centerline, the aggressive front grille and those big rear haunches — a truly scary feeling even a blind pianist can sense.

So, as we pull up to the Museum of Science and Industry onto the very familiar footbridge out front, I felt I could scatter Nazi Illini with a greater efficiency than Jake and Elwood ever could with their '74 Monaco.

But if we really want to make this car feel at home, we need to get pulled over. The whole film pivots on an unfortunate encounter with the Illinois State Police, but we'll settle for Chicago PD. Since we'd rather not actually get a ticket, we happen upon a police station and Matt hops out to talk with the sergeant in charge. Though rebuffed officially, one of the officers motions to us he wants to speak with us outside the earshot of his supervisor. Outside, he agrees to help us. He's not pulling us over, just parking behind us — with his flashing lights on — in the middle of the road. Other cops gathered about grumble jealously. "I wish they'd buy us some of these," says our friendly officer.

We bid farewell to The Man and head over to pick up Chicago-style hot dogs from a local stand, consuming them in a parking lot across the street from Wrigley Field. Not quite four fried chickens, but they'll do. Getting back in the Charger, I pull down on the column shifter, noting how different the equipment on this model is compared to the usual creature comforts we all take for granted in most modern cars. For example, no cupholders. But never mind because the floors are rubber, making clean-up simple should I spill something. No cigarette lighter either — true to Blues Brothers form.

Matt and I head downtown, but are disappointed to find neither mounted patrol or National Guard waiting for us. I continue on to Lower Wacker Drive, rolling down the windows and selecting a low gear on the Autostick. The echoing roar of the V8 chases me through the underground street. Even if you're not on a mission from God, you can't help but feel the divine reverberation. Sadly, we only had the car for a few days, and with our time almost up, I had to head back to Michigan.

On my drive back, the jazz station crackling on the radio lulls me into losing track of time, worries, distance, and apparently speed. I guess you can only get pulled over when you don't want to be. "Do you know what I stopped you for?" asks a blindingly bright beam of light in my passenger side window. I've never answered "no" to that question. So, after my quick slick answer, the uniformed man with the inquisitive flashlight goes back to his Crown Vic for a minute. I hope he doesn't have SCMODS. Thankfully, he returns with only a written warning and a guilt trip. "You should feel privileged to drive this car." states the officer. It's true, I should.

Remember that, people: No matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us all the same. You, me, them, everybody... and respect for a police-spec Charger is one of them.

Also see:
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Two
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Three