The Pallas models were the top of the line trim, so this should be a fine and elegant beast. To me, 'crispy' suggests that the car was stored outside under a merciless sun for a very long time, so the interior will be faded, cracked, warped, delaminating, with knobs and switches ready to turn to dust as soon as you try to see what they do.

The rest of the mechanicals, electric and hydraulics should operate perfectly. They've just been in a state of suspended animation, n'est pas?

But it's a Pallas, so you have to restore it to factory fresh elegance, suitable for carting Giscard d'Estaing around Paris. It will never be quite right and you will never be done.

By contrast, the Colt is hardly worth considering. Sure it's been converted to an EV. But so what? That's just some wires, washer motors and a Radio Shack breadboard kit. You can figure it out. The rest of the car is just a small, durable appliance, so there's not need to be fastidious. You could hack this thing back into operation in a week or two, tops. Since it's a homebuilt EV, you aren't under any illusions that it will ever be dependable, a commuting car, or likely to win any beauty contests, so there's no stress here.

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Enough said.

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But I have a plan. I will kidnap several French mechanics--no wait, I'll kidnap their moms, who will scold them until they get the Citro rebuilt for me. For free. And in the meantime we'll drink wine, eat cheese and play Crapet.

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There's no contest here for outright hellishness, the Citroen wins.

Though in all honesty, the Colt is far more likely to result in death.

Therefore, given the risk of DEATH factor, I've gotta give it to the Colt.

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As such, it's hellish even by PCH standards.

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With the CX even getting it into LeMons condition is going to be hell, restoring it is something Satan himself wouldn't attempt.

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The Citroen, though, sings a siren song. Longingly read the endlessly-laudatory road tests in old CAR magazines. Look at online original sales catalogs for the beauty. Download a hi-res picture for your monitor wallpaper. It calls to you in seductive tones - a vision of a once-possible future that sadly never really happened.

Once you consummate the marriage, however, it will eternally mock you. Remember, the only CXs sold in the US were Euro-spec cars modified by Joe's Sleazoid Nightmare Importers, who ended up being firebombed by terrorists secretly financed by PSA Peugeot-Citroen. Call PSA for help now? They'll never forgive you for neglecting to buy a Peugeot when they were available in the US. Think Citroen DS and SM owners have a hard time finding parts and service? Oh, they have it easy compared to you. How many CX experts do you think there are in this quarter of the world? As others have mentioned, you'll have to travel to Europe for the most trivial parts.

Even if you do get it to move under its own power, it will surely die on you in the midst of an Interstate rush-hour during a three-hour cloudbust. The acrid smell of frying electrics will be accompanied by a slow sinking feeling as the CX assumes a belly-slithering salamander posture due to the failing hydraulics. I can go on, but suffice to say the horrors will continue....

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Good Lord in Heaven France, Jalopniks, look at this!

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Gahhhhh.

Anyway, if anyone's interested, that CX is nearby and I'd be happy to go take a look-see.

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[karakullake.blogspot.com]

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That Citroen, though. Oh, God. That Citroen. If the parts were actually available, it'd be cake. But they're not. And once you do find them, they'll fail again, and you'll never be able to find out why. Once you get your mitts on that beast, assuming you're not a big fan of receiving barbed-wire-wrapped saguaro cacti in your rear entrance, your options are sell it, LeMons it or use it as a lawn sculpture. None of which, of course, are acceptable.

Death by electrocution or death by anal exsanguination? No contest. Citroen wins.

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Why not go French AND go electric? An electric CX! The kind of project that would make me want to kill myself, because real hell is more pleasant than PCH.

In other words, it's perfect!

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