Jalopnik: dieter zetsche

Mad About The Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG

Peter Orosz — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:00:00 EDT

You’ve seen the unveiling. You’ve read that it’s going digital. What you haven’t seen was the sheer excitement on the scene in Frankfurt when Mercedes–Benz revealed the SLS AMG.

Even though there hangs a faint air of retrograde desperation about the new Gullwing, with its signature design element a structural necessity on the 1952 racing original and a mere styling choice on the new car, it is a sight to behold in the flesh.

Yes, it may be nothing more than a sports car with a quirky door. But if you do shell out the quarter million dollars it will cost, you’ll end up with a Gullwing-ish car for half the price of a vintage 300SL.

With the added benefit of AMG’s fabulous 6.3-liter V8 and the relief of not having to care about what will soon be a 60-year-old car.

If you want to go for grungy race car looks, make sure you order yours with the matte black disguising elements seen on the leaked photos of test mules, complete with the bumps reminiscent of the skin of humpback whales.

And should you look real close at the picture on top, you will see yours truly in the Frankfurt mayhem, crammed up against the right door in a lobster red backpack, aiming a white telephoto lens at Lewis Hamilton and Dr. Z:

Hi Lewis!

Photo Credit: SASCHA SCHUERMANN/AFP/Getty Images, Mercedes-Benz, Gawid/autoscoop.biz, TORSTEN SILZ/AFP/Getty Images

BMW, Daimler to Opel: It’s a Dog-Eat-Dog-Eat-Automaker World

Peter Orosz — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 13:30:00 EST

Opel is dying and the heads of BMW and Daimler would like the German state to keep its hands out of the process.

Libertarianism is a concept very, very alien to the average European mind. We live in overbearing, motherly states with massive taxes and social cushions but the Carpocalypse is bringing out the inner Ron Paul in Dr. Z.

The Financial Times quotes the Daimler head: “Every industry needs structural development and this is not something that should be influenced in the long term by governments.” BMW CEO Norbert Reithofer comes with the kontrapunkt: “I have an understanding when it is about banks because they are central elements of an economy. But for the rest, where do you start and…stop?”

It is entertaining to consider a version of the truth where these two car magnates are not afraid of the integrity of their own pockets, as is probably the case here. But where Doctors Z and R harbor fantasies of a pre-Bismarck Germany of independent fiefdoms, a Snow Crash wonderland of franchised cities instead of tiny kingdoms.

Where the rulers of Mstadt and AMGville watch with a stony face as the poor everymen of Rüsselsheim scatter to the winds.

Photo Credit: public.resource.org, slobug

Wolfgang Bernhard Riding Back Into Daimler Management

Ray Wert — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 12:00:00 EST

We've just heard the Tomahawk-riding former-Chrysler-and-VW exec, Wolfgang Bernhard, has just been hired back by Daimler to run the company's Van unit. Hey, maybe Dieter Zetsche is putting the band back together!

Photo Credit: JEFF KOWALSKY / AFP

Mercedes-Benz A-Class And B-Class Could Be Bound For America, According To Dr. Z

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:40:00 EDT

A new Mercedes compact could be in your future, according to mustache aficionado, part-time bartender and Daimler Chief Dieter Zetsche. Despite previous reports that the A-Class was too expensive and the US dollar too weak, the sudden shift in American tastes has made the Mercedes A-Class not so much of a reach. Dr. Z also indicated the rumor about a US-spec B-Class being secretly designed for North America isn't so far-fetched either.

Jalopnik Snap Judgment: Since the other major Mercedes-Benz profitability exercise in the US is to merely raise the price of current models and sell fewer cars, we welcome the idea of a larger market offering. All that being said, we wonder if the A-Class might not cannibalize Smart ForTwo sales, and whether the market exists for really expensive little cars.

[Source: AutoWeek]

Detroit Auto Show: Dr. Z Pours Us A Pint Of Bass, We Warm Up To Ze Germans

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:15:00 EST

Daimler head Dr. Dieter "Tobias Funke" Zetsche, or Dr. Z as he's more affectionately known to us, was once again serving up beers at this year's Firehouse aftershow party (we were nervous that, after Daimler dropping down to only a partial owner he'd not come back). Though he only served up a few pints, we were quick to get in line and have him serve up a tasty brew for us. As any cowboy knows, a long day on the trail works up a mighty thirst. The same goes for the press. This is doubly true when hundreds of longhorn cattle show up at the Detroit Auto Show. Enjoy the photos of Ze Zetsche grabbing us Ze Bass.

The Zetsche Does Not Need Your Puny American Auto Company

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:15:00 EST

Daimler~~Chrysler~~ Chief Deiter "Tobias" Zetsche says everything is great since they dumped Chrysler. Seriously. They feel great, look great and are seeing new people. They'd have totally made a profit last quarter, but they needed time to get over the breakup (and related charges). Things are looking up for old Daimler so don't count him out. He's going to focus on the basic things, like Mercedes Benz. And he's trying new things, like fuel cells. Seriously, couldn't be better. Thanks for asking. [AP]

Dieter Zetsche e-mails his goodbye to Chrysler....

Ray Wert — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 15:15:00 EDT

Dieter Zetsche e-mails his goodbye to Chrysler. Parting is such sweet sorrow — or as one Freep commenter writes: "Later Stache." [Freep]

Chrysler Sale Cost DaimlerChrysler $673 Million?

Ray Wert — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 08:00:00 EDT

I know DaimlerChrysler's claimed they sold the 'merican half of the business for $7.4 billion, but according to the Wall Street Journal as well as Brian O'Connor at the Detroit News, the sale price was significantly lower than that according to Cerberus CEO Lenny Tessler. He claims:

"In essence, they paid us to take the company...I'm not talking out of school."

But according to the Journal's stat folks, a look at the deal has Cerberus shoving most of its money right into Chrysler. Daimler's check is only $1.3 billion — plus it's going to loan Chrysler money and eat up some of the current losses. The bottom line is Daimler actually pays out $673 million in the "sale." Although Daimler~~Chrysler~~'s Herr Doktor is denying he's paying Cerberus to take Chrysler, he's also not saying...

...he's making any money off the sale:

"Cerberus invested $7.4 billion into this transaction, which obviously is not any form of being paid..."

Key word there folks is "invested" not "paid" — just saying. – Ray Wert

Chrysler sale cost DCX $673M [Detroit News]

[Photo: Thomas Niedermueller / Getty Images News]

Corporate Unmerger of E-mails: Dieter Style

bwojdyla — Mon, 14 May 2007 09:42:30 EDT

Hot on the heels of the announcement that the merger of equals will become a partial-ownership-but-mostly-sale-of-no-longer-equals comes an e-mail from Grand Master Mustache Dieter Zetsche to his beloved employees. Something about "toughest thing I've done in my professional career" and "Chrysler will be more agile and flexible"... and then my eyes glazed over. No word on how Cerberus will make Chrysler more flexible, but like I said, I didn't read it too close. It could have said everybody gets a free puppy and ice cream and I would have missed it. Full mailer after the jump... – Ben Wojdyla

May 14, 2007
Dear Colleagues,

This morning, we announced Cerberus will take an 80.1% equity position in Chrysler and its related financial services business, with Daimler retaining the remaining 19.9%. Following a relatively short but very carefully prepared and thorough review of options, we're confident that we've found the best solution for Chrysler and for Daimler. We are now working hard to formally conclude our agreement as quickly as possible.

Endorsing this decision is the toughest thing I've done in my professional career. Like so many of you, I have made a personal investment in and commitment to both Chrysler and Daimler. And this is exactly the reason that we explored all options to find the best solution for Chrysler's long-term future.

That said, I firmly believe this is an exciting day for Chrysler. It's a new beginning. Backed by a strong partner in Cerberus, Chrysler, as a privately held company, has the best opportunity for success and to realize its full potential.

Chrysler will be more agile and flexible. You'll also be better-positioned to seek out the automotive partners that best fit your needs. You can more sharply focus on the continued implementation of the Recovery and Transformation Plan, the first results of which we can already see.

Daimler and Chrysler will continue to work together, now as business partners, on key joint programs including procurement, powertrain development, logistics and financial services. Through a Joint Automotive Council, we'll coordinate and evaluate current and future programs that can help drive our mutual success.

You should all be proud of what you've accomplished in recent years at Chrysler. You've made significant gains in productivity, quality and cost reduction; launched a record number of new products; and fought it out in the toughest market in the world. You've built the strongest of the North American-based auto companies. I'm personally very proud to have been a part of that.

I know the road ahead won't always be easy. It never is. But I'm confident that Chrysler will come back strong as it has done so many times in its long history. And I look forward to working with Chrysler, our new business partner under Tom's able leadership, in the years ahead.

I wish you all every success.

Sincerely,

Dieter

Speculation No More! Chrysler Group Sold To Cerberus Capital Management!

New York Auto Show: Dude, The Chrysler Group Is Totally Going To Sue VW In Germany!

Ray Wert — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 16:30:39 EDT

We spotted this interactive unit in the Volkswagen display. What is this — Ask Dr. K? Ask Dr. VW? Talk about rubbing it in the Chrysler Group's face. We love it when automakers kick each other when they're down. – Ray Wert

Even More Chrysler Group Sales Speculation: Jedi Council Edition

Ray Wert — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 10:45:00 EST

YODA : Your thoughts dwell on your potential to be a takeover target.
DIETER : I'd miss my job.
YODA : Afraid to lose it ... I think.
DIETER : (a little angry) What's that got to do with anything?
YODA: Everything. Fear is the path to the dark side ... fear leads to anger ... anger leads to hate ... hate, leads to suffering.
DIETER: (angrily) I am not afraid!
YODA: A automaker CEO must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. I sense much fear in you.
DIETER: (quietly) I am not afraid.
YODA : Then continue with the sales presentations, we will.

– Ray Wert

Zetsche feared takeover without sale of Chrysler [Detroit News]

The Official Car Pundit Drinking Game: Crying "Chrysler's For Sale" From The Rooftops!

Ray Wert — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:03:03 EST

Well, it looks as though our associate editor from Detroit's going to have to put his money where his always-on mouth is and explain his whole "Chrysler not really for sale but really could be" ~~silliness~~ idea on CNBC tonight. That's right, 'merica's business channel wants him to take a stab at Dr. Z.'s big idea at 7:17 PM EST in front of Melissa Francis or you know, whoever may be hosting On The Money this erev shabbos. So while he's getting powdered and lavaliered up, let's get to the real work — dusting off those shot glasses and coming up with some new rules. If all of this is confusing to you in any way, feel free to take a look back at what's transpired in the oldest established permanent floating drinking game for car pundits.

All Your Automakers Are Belong To GM: General Motors Looking At Acquiring Chrysler Group?

Ray Wert — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 11:57:21 EST

Photo By: Bill Pugliano / Getty Images News

According to yet another odd-sounding German magazine, manager-magazin.de the General's CEO "Slick" Rick Wagoner has been in talks with Dr. Z to acquire the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid. We can't read much German, so unfortunately the best we can come up with is the Babelfish translation which reads like engrish from a 90's video game:

"DaimlerChrysler boss Dieter Zet leads at present with Rick Wagoner, the chief executive of general of engine, discussions across a sales of the Chrysler Group. The negotiations are however still after information from manager magazine in an early stage."

But yeah, we're totally with you on the direction this piece's going. Don't be afraid Bill Ford and Tom LaSorda, we know Rick's bigger than you, but rest easy — it'll only hurt for a moment. – Ray Wert

Zetsche verhandelt mit General Motors [manager-magazin.de]

UPDATE: GM says "no comment" — but unlike other times, there's no denial coming out of the Ren Cen. Interesting.

UPDATE #2: Wert will be on CNBC's On The Money tonight talking about Chrysler between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM EST.

DaimlerChrysler Open To Any Option Involving Chrysler Group, Including Sale

Ray Wert — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 10:47:03 EST

Dieter's just spoken, and he's stated very ~~unclearly~~ clearly on the speculation of whether the German-American hybrid's willing to look at selling off the Chrysler Group:

"our thinking does not exclude any options and that means all options are on the table."

Thanks for clearing that up Dieter, get ready for the story from the hyperactive Detroit auto media to be "DaimlerChrysler Looks To Sell Chrysler Group." Gotta sell them ~~papers~~ ~~magazines~~ ~~online subscriptions~~ blog posts! Although, we look on the bright side, at least at this time he's being purposely unclear and this time we're not ruling out the potential for a story here. – Ray Wert

Breaking! Chrysler Group To Cut 13,000 Workers And Return To Profitability By Investing In...Engines?

Ray Wert — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 09:05:12 EST

Now we understand why Dr. Z won't be talking about the Chrysler Group. The main man in the big office in Stuttgart is letting his main man in Auburn Hills, MI give the bold and bad news and put his ass on the line. Like when he's giving the news today that instead of 11,000 job cuts, the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid's trying to beat expectations on the street and cut 13,000 jobs, which amounts to approximately a 16% cut. hourly employment will be reduced by 11,000 over three years, with 9,000 in the US and 2,000 in Canada. On the salaried side, Chrysler will be reducing employment by 2,000 over the next two years, with 1,000 each in 2007 and 2008. Nothing like the tease before the real release, eh? That's the big news on the jobs numbers, but what about where they'll be coming from? Well, since...

...they're looking at reducing total production capacity by 400,000 units per year, this year they'll be eliminating a shift at the Newark (Delaware) Assembly Plant and the Warren (Michigan) Truck Plant. In 2008, they'll eliminate a shift at the St. Louis (Missouri) South Assembly Plant. In 2009, they'll idle the Newark Assembly Plant and they'll idle the Cleveland (Ohio) Parts Distribution Center in December 2007.

That's a great way to get production in line with sales, but how about making sure what's being produced will be what people will want for the future? To do that, the Chrysler Group says they'll be investing over $3 billion in new engines, transmissions and axles, in order to "move toward a portfolio that is more fuel efficient." That'll include a common axle program for all vehicles, plus work on a new transmission technology including a signed non-binding memorandum of understanding with Getrag in Germany to develop more fuel efficient "dual clutch" tranny tech. We'd prefer to see less craptastic plastic on the interiors, but whatevs, this is one way to do things. More to come soon as it happens. – Ray Wert

Breaking! DaimlerChrysler Makes $7.3 Billion In 2006, Chrysler Group Posts Loss Of $1.5 Billion, Up To $1.3 Billion In 2007 On Restructuring

Ray Wert — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 08:23:16 EST

Photo Credit: Bill Pugliano / Getty Images News

Happy Valentine's Day to DaimlerChrysler investors, as the globe-spanning alliance announced just moments ago they saw an operating profit of almost $7.3 billion during 2006, the Mercedes Group leading the way with an operating profit of almost $3.2 billion. Gains were also seen by the Truck side and money side of the big German-American hybrid. In fact, pretty much every team saw a big pop in those operatin' profits. Every group except one — Chrysler Group. Yay, America! The folks in Auburn Hills saw an operating loss of almost $1.5 billion, off from the operating profit of just over $2 billion in 2005. That's a hell of a big swing from year prior and it's got us wondering what the hell's going on at the 'merican side of the cross-Atlantic merger of not-so-equals. Apparently, the same question's being asked atop Chrysler's tower o' power here in Auburn Hills and atop a similar tower in Stuttgart, Germany. That's why today we'll be hearing from the big boss from Deutschland, Dieter Zetsche. Dr. Z's expected to explain away the Chrysler Group's problems as being mainly due to a changed market environment. However, after looking through the copy of his powerpoint presentation, I've realized Dieter's totally not going to be addressing the problem. Instead...

...he's relying on DCX's big bucks bad boy Bodo Uebber to spread some of the bad news. Somewhere in his powerpoint presentation (page 18, to be precise), he's clear there should be an expectation the Chrysler Group'll be spending up to $1.3 billion on "restructuring charges" but the loss in 2007 will be below the levels seen this past year. That means the Chrysler Group's going to be making deep enough cuts and selling enough products to eat that $1.3 billion and still come out better than last year. That's no small hill to climb. – Ray Wert

One Down: Wolfgang Exits Stage Left At VW, Will Chrysler Group's LaSorda Be Next?

Ray Wert — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 11:35:18 EST

Reports are coming in Wolfgang Bernhard was just told he's no longer allowed to be representin' Deutschland and Ferdinand "Fergie" Piech has moved his buddy Winterkorn into the vacated spot. Bernhard, the main man for the VDub brand, and former DaimlerChrysler exec, is leaving Volkswagen at the end of this month, although we've yet to hear whether it was on his own terms or if the Supervisory Group's doing the canning. That distinction could be significant in coming months if Bernhard looks to join his good buddy Dr. Dieter Zetsche for another stint at the German-American hybrid. But since the rumors are he'd be taking over on the 'merican side of the cross-continental merger of equals, we of course have to wonder what's up with current Chrysler Group CEO Tom LaSorda (pictured to the left, and with much more of a deer-in-the-headlights-stare, of Bernhard). Despite the man-love LaSorda received this week from the good Doctor at the Detroit show, he's still in the hot seat over his retention of production schedules seemingly not in touch with reality. I mean, maybe his reality — but when you're stuffing Jeeps into trains parked outside a Best Western in Allen Park — that's not so much good. The key issue here's going to be whether or not the two-year post-VDub non-compete's going to still be in play for Bernhard. What we do know is he'll be available just in time for the next DaimlerChrysler board meeting, scheduled to take place on Valentine's Day. We know we'll be keeping a close eye on this one, as well as making sure to check and see if Dr. Z. is getting any of those little candy hearts printed up saying "Will you be my new executive?" – Ray Wert

Bernhard Leaving VW, Company Says [TheCarConnection.com]
Piech firmly in control at VW (sub. req.)[Automotive News]

Bump N' Grind: Dieter And Tom Get The Man-Love On

Ray Wert — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 13:08:12 EST

While our main man from the West-side of the US of A brought you the product love from Mercedes, I'm here on this side of the 8 Mile line to get all obsessed with the industry insider stuff. So of course I was all over the man-love going on at the reveal for the more Bruce side of the German-American hybrid. Because given the sales banking of excess production going on over in Auburn Hills (and Detroit Metro Airport, the State Fairgrounds, lots and of course — empty trains behind the Best Western in Allen Park) any public love being shown to Chrysler Group CEO Tom LaSorda by the boss man, Dr. Z, is probably sorely appreciated. That's why the following little hug n' bump with DaimlerChrysler boss-man Dieter Zetsche must have felt so good to Windsor's favorite son. Heckuva job there, Tommy. – Ray Wert

Bluetec, 4Matic, Ocean Drive and Emmitt Smith: Mercedes-Benz Detroit Press Intro

Davey G. Johnson — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 12:45:00 EST

See! Zetsche on Ice! Before he sauntered across the street to slake the thirst of a teeming mass of boozehound autojournos and sycophants at the Firehouse, Dr. Zed took to the ice rink after a rather inexplicable intro involving a man on a sled pulled by some ripe-smelling dogs. What followed was an orgy of winter sport including ice dancing, hockey and other whatsits while 4Matic-equipped Benzos cruised the frozen H20 on Bridgestone Blizzak tires.

After the celebration of Merc's 100 years of 4WD, Herr Doktor Thomas Weber took the stage to explain the joys of Bluetec, referring to the company's new eight-pot clean diesel featuring urea-injection to scrub emissions as a "Wee-8." He did this unintentionally. We giggled ourselves silly.

Dieter returned to center ice to introduce the new four-door droptop Ocean Drive concept, which reminded us a bit of a cross between an S-Class/Roller/Audi/Chrysler Imperial Concept. We're not necessarily sure that Mercedes pulled it off with this one, unless, of course, vaguely ungainly is the new stately. But hey, Emmitt Smith showed up, so that's something, we guess. – Davey G. Johnson

It's Expected, He's Gone: Bernhard No Longer to Represent Vee Dub

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 18:15:00 EST

Shock of shocks! After being passed over for the HMIC/Lord of All He Surveys at Volkswagen in favor of Herr Doktor Martin "Your vife, my vife" Winterkorn, it looks more and more like Wolfgang Bernhard will be bailing on the boys from Wolfsburg, making him a prime candidate to replace Tom LaSorda at Chrysler. However, there is the little issue of the two-year noncompete clause in Bernhard's contract. Does this mean that one of the brightest minds in autoexecudom will be sidelined while Pi ch continues to assert his capricious will via VW's supervisory board and Auburn Hills proves that it seemingly has no idea what it's doing without the firm hand of a German at the helm? Dr. Z, Wendelin, do something! – Davey G. Johnson

Volkswagen's Bernhard Is Poised To Leave Over Planned Shake-Up [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]