A picture is worth a thousand words and we look to you, the all-knowing, witty commentariat of the Jalopnisphere to provide those words. Can you provide the caption to this photo that'll wow your peers and make the stone-faced Jalopnik editors crack a smile?

Image Credit: Asian Martin

For the 1,750-pound '81 Rabbit Diesel, Volkswagen felt that 48 horsepower was plenty; in fact, the Rabbit Diesel had a better power-to-weight ratio than the 1,724-pound/53-horsepower '69 Beetle, and diesel torque should have made it feel even quicker. That was not the case, however; I've driven both cars (in fact, I did my driver training classes in a dual-brake-pedal Rabbit Diesel), and the Beetle feels slightly zippy while the Rabbit Diesel feels dangerously slow. Perception? Reality?
Still, these things sip that costly oil through a cocktail straw, giving Rabbit Diesel owners the right to sneer at those resource-depleters in thirsty Priuses. Most of the survivors seem to be the Rabbit pickups, but I was able to find this sedan parked by the Bay, quite close to the '88 Peugeot 505 Turbo.

Having their clock rung a few times in the ‘70s for a not particularly fuel-efficient fleet, GM looked to their foreign affiliates - who had already discovered the joys of high gas prices, and developed a number of small, economical diesel engines as a result. Turning to the east, they leveraged their partial ownership in Isuzu to source 1.6 litre oil burners, which were already rattling under the hoods of the abominable Opel by Isuzu cars sold by Buick. Those cars were dervations of the global T-car platform, bringing low-cost and underwhelming small cars to the world's people. Another T-car, and the first sold in the U.S., is represented by today's candidate- a 1982 Chevette Diesel.

Presented in middle-America blue, and described in Craigslist-appropriate all-caps, this 5-speed four-door offers a unique look at an era of uncomplicated small cars. Featuring rear wheel drive and a bullet-proof (make sure to check that timing belt!) iron block four, the chevette offers engine accessibility unheard of in a modern compact. Forty MPG would not be out of the question, as would interminable freeway on-ramp runs. This might be the perfect first car for that twitchy teen on your list. There is nothing better than a glacially slow and sexless four door to keep a new driver self possessed of their own immortality grounded in reality, despite the seller's claim that car is fun to drive. Only ninety one thousand on the odo means there's still life left in this last of a dying breed, although that might be because it spent so many years hiding out behind a motorhome.

So, does a $2,200 diesel chevette make your passions burn with the heat of a million glow plugs? Or is that just throwing fuel on the fire of mediocrity?

You decide!

Northern Michigan Craigslist or, go here if the ad disappears. Thanks to tempesjo, who tipped another Diesel Chevette, which was already gone, so he gets credit for this one.

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

Channeling the immense buzzing marketing power of social media, de Nysschen says, "I do not specifically recall using the term "car for idiots" during my informal conversation with the writer."

In the tricky language of PRese "can't recall" translates to "I said it, but man, that was a dumb thing to say!" If de Nysschen had wanted to utterly refute the statement, he would have said, "I didn't say it" or "I was misquoted." Still, now it's been posted up on Facebook for all Audi's schoolmates and former girlfriends to read. Ulrich stands by his original story, which remains unaltered at MSN Autos.

De Nysschen then continues, by writing on his wall, "the feasibility of the Chevrolet Volt as a concept is questionable." Which we admit does sound a lot better than yesterday's outright dismissal of electrics in favor of clean diesel, especially considering Audi is bringing an electric R8 to the Frankfurt Motor Show. As one of Audi's Facebook friends then responded, "cumm onn pplll!!1!"

De Nysschen was speaking to MSN Autos about his frustration things were swinging in the favor of gasoline/electric hybrids over clean diesel technology. He believes consumers have been "hoodwinked" into thinking hybrids are the only answer to eco-friendly cars.

He described the Chevy Volt as "A car for idiots," before adding sarcastically, "They're for the intellectual elite who want to show what enlightened souls they are."

De Nysscen argues that clean diesel could have an immediate impact on national carbon emissions and the overall amount of fuel used, where, in contrast, Hybrids and electrics won't have a demonstrable impact on either for many years to come.

So, Mr. de Nysschen, why can't American consumers buy an A4 with a turbo-diesel and a manual transmission? [via MSN]

Why you should buy the 2009 VW Jetta SportWagen TDI:
You want a car that's pretty fast and very frugal and your Labrador hates being left at home. You want a practical, economical family car, but you haven't been brainwashed into thinking your only option once you're pregnant with your first child is a 9-seat Suburban. You like the idea of hybrid fuel economy, but not the lackluster hybrid driving experience. You're a white lab coat-wearing teutonophile with a thing for precise oil-burners. You understand what's going on underneath the hood of a car and are able to wrap your moderately-sized intellect around the concept of DSG.

Why you shouldn't buy this car:
You eat every meal at Mickey D's and your idea of automotive excellence is a late ‘90s Buick. You think diesel is the fuel of communists. The idea of your car doing anything other than slushing its way slowly up to highway speed questions your fundamental understanding of the world. The idea of a Palin/Limbaugh ticket in 2010 has you up at night polishing your guns with excitement. You're the average driver and, like all your peers, you've subconsciously learned to fear any car that requires any thought from its driver. You know how to drive stick.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: Yes
Treehuggers: Yes
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: Yes
Euro Trash: Yes
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: No
Soccer Moms: Yes
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: Yes
Sheiklets: No
Very Serious Businessmen: No

Also Consider:
• the manual version
• 2010 Toyota Prius
• 2010 Honda Insight
• 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Volkswagen
• Model: Jetta SportWagen TDI
• Model year: 2009
• Base Price: $23,870
• Price as Tested: $29,410
• Engine type: 2.0-Liter, 4-cylinder, in-line, turbocharged direct injection, common rail diesel
• Horsepower: 140 HP @ 4000 RPM
• Torque: 236 Lb-Ft @ 1,750-2,500 RPM
• Transmission: Dual-clutch automated manual
• Curb Weight: 3,285 Lbs
• LxWxH: 179.4" x 70.1" x 59.2"
• Wheelbase: 101.5"
• Tires: 205/44 R16
• 0 - 60 mph: 9.5 seconds (manufacturer quoted)
• Top Speed: 128 MPH (manufacturer quoted)
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 29/40 MPG
• Jalopnik Fuel Economy: 37.4 MPG (city/highway mix 25/75%)
• NHTSA crash test rating: ****(Driver)/****(Passenger)/*****(Side, front and rear)/**** (Rollover)

Also see:
• 2009 VW Jetta SportWagen TDI, Part One
• 2009 VW Jetta SportWagen TDI, Part Two

Exterior Design: ***
Utterly innocuous, but in a handsome way. The Jetta SportWagen's not going to offend anyone, but it's not going to set hearts alight either. Like a black jellybean with chrome accents, it's lucky that those accents actually look nice and restrained. The Jetta could fit into any crowd from a college campus to fancy valet parking.

Interior Design: ****
Initial impressions of a sterile sparseness give way to well thought-out proportions, convenient features and just the right amount of space. VW isn't the only car maker to offer a full-length sunroof, but it really helps lighten up the interior and is well worth the $1,100.

Acceleration: ***
Slow off-the-line, but 236 Lb-Ft of torque provides ample oomph for overtaking, entering freeways and exiting corners. Use the manual mode to exploit the wide powerband of the diesel engine to its fullest and the engine feels great. Leave it in auto and the transmission is was too eager to upshift, spoiling acceleration immensely. It's a torquey diesel, not a high-revving gasoline engine; rapid-fire upshifts are not what's needed here.

Braking: ****
Strong, fade-free brakes and good pedal feel result in complete confidence in the Jetta's braking ability. The DSG transmission spoils it a little bit by clunkily slamming 1st gear home as you come close to a stop and delivering unexpected levels of engine-braking once in that gear.

Ride: ****
Controlled but comfortable, you can feel the road's surface through the steering wheel but not your butt.

Handling: ***
Decent steering feel, good high-speed stability and reasonably light on its feet, the Jetta TDI is always able to do what you ask of it. It's nevertheless a bit on the boring side thanks to softish suspension tuning and a strong propensity for understeer. Competent rather than exciting.

Gearbox: *
The six-speed DSG gearbox is utterly unsuited to the Jetta TDI. Competent drivers will just buy the excellent six-speed manual version and there's no traditional torque converter auto for the huddling masses of stick shift incompetents. That means they'll be saddled with too many jerky shifts instead of smooth progress. All that's going to do is reinforce all the negative stereotypes diesel is saddled with in this country. The DSG box works much better in performance applications, where it's equipped with paddles and different tuning, allowing drivers to fully exploit a high-revving engine. Floor the throttle in the Jetta TDI and you get a succession of upshifts rather than acceleration. You and I will leave it in manual mode and appreciate the reasonably quick shifts, but Joe and Sally normal won't and it'll piss them off.

Audio: ***
The excellent interface makes up for the slightly lackluster sound. Flips through Sirius channels rapidly with full song, artist and station details appearing immediately, most other system lag for a few seconds, which makes browsing frustrating. The MP3 integration and 6-CD changer will fulfill your other musical needs admirably.

Toys: **
How much money do you want to spend? The base $23,870 car is fairly Spartan, but does include fake leather seats. Add the navigation system for $1,990 and you get a latest-gen system with an excellent interface, traffic alerts and rerouting and the above mentioned audio system. The $1,100 sunroof is great too; open wind barely disturbs the cabin and with the sun shade closed you won't even get a sunburn. The $1,100 gearbox doesn't even come with paddles. That's about all you can add except for wheels. (Hint, don't spec the DSG box and spend the money on the sunroof and driving lessons instead)

Value: ****
$23,870 for a right-sized station wagon with a fast and frugal turbo-diesel engine? Sounds good to us. Add 29 MPG city and 40 MPG highway figures and that becomes an excellent deal for high-mileage commuters, long-term owners and epic road trip-takers. The 33 MPG average TDI engine carries a $2,445 premium over the similarly spec'd 24 MPG 2.5-liter Jetta SE. Assuming 15,000 miles a year and equal fuel costs of $2.50 a gallon, you'll need to drive for five years to save money. So figure out your usage before buying if you want to cut costs.

Overall: ***
A great little wagon that's good-to-drive, frugal and unique in the market place, but it'll be spoiled for many by the crappy DSG transmission. If you want the manual, buy without hesitation, if you lost your left leg in the ‘Nam, try before you buy.

Also see:
• VW Jetta SportWagen TDI, Part One

Largely due to GM's abortive efforts with diesel in the '80s, the fuel has an extremely negative image in this country. While thrift-minded Euros have looked no further for decades, most Americans associate diesel with clouds of black smoke, rattles, poor performance and unavailability at gas stations. This created the market gap for hybrids, re-branding fuel economy with technology too complicated for most people to understand and unique styling.

The Jetta TDI seeks to put the kibosh on the rise of the hybrids by pushing traditional automotive values like performance, space, practicality and fun in a package that will still save its drivers money on fuel. Starting at just $22,270 for the sedan and $23,870 for the wagon, that's a $2,445 premium over the similarly spec'd Jetta SE. That puts it squarely in mid-spec 2010 Toyota Prius price territory, and is usefully cheaper than the $27,270 17" wheel-equipped Prius V that's actually decent to drive. Officially rated at 29 MPG city and 40 MPG highway, the Jetta TDI is considerably more frugal than the 21 city/29 highway Jetta SE.

It's fun to drive too. Making 140 HP at 4,000 RPM and 236 Lb-Ft between 1,750 and 2,500 RPM meaning the engine's flexibility and day-to-day usability far outweighs its somewhat disappointing 9.5-second 0-60 MPH time (the sedan does the same run in 8.2 seconds). You can hold high gears on country roads, using fifth for everything from fast overtaking to 40 MPH corners. The chassis returns the classic VW values of complete competence, reasonable response and a fair bit more involvement than most would expect from a compact car. It's not going to set an enthusiastic driver's heart alight, but it would give the average hoon a worthy companion.

Adding the wagon doesn't just decrease the acceleration and increase the price, it transforms the car form a less practical VW Golf/Rabbit/whatever they're calling it these days into something with a serious level of hauling ability for a relatively small vehicle. Seats down, it has 66.9 cubic feet of storage room; seats up that drops to 32.8 cubic feet (double that of the sedan) but creates space for two adults to sit in the rear in comfort with 35.5" of leg room, you could fit a third, pathetic excuse for an adult back there in a pinch. In Europe, the 2009 VW Jetta SportWagen TDI would be considered a spacious family car, it could be in America too as long as you believe in birth control and exercise.

So far, the Jetta TDI makes a convincing case for itself as a do-anything, appeal-to-anyone fuel-sipper, but then you get to the gearbox. People that prefer driving stick need read no further, a standard is fitted as standard and its six speeds are well-spaced and fun to use. But only 6% of all cars sold in America have a manual transmission and this Jetta TDI doesn't come with an auto, it comes with a DSG and an odd one at that.

In performance applications like the VW GTI or Audi TT, VW's DSG gearbox is rightly praised as incredibly quick to shift — just 8 milliseconds on a full-throttle upshift — and, when compared to a torque converter automatic, is very fuel-efficient, lightweight and loses virtually no power. Here, in the Jetta TDI, while driving fast it's no different except for the lack of paddles, manual shifting is done by moving the tunnel-mounted selector forward for up and backward for down. After driving many DSG-equipped cars it's weird not having the paddles, but you get used to it.

It's while doing anything but driving fast that the DSG is problematic. Shift when the transmission's electronic brain isn't expecting it and the transition can take up to 400 milliseconds and is intrusively jerky. Leave it in auto mode, as most drivers are likely to do, and it's even worse. Upshifts come way too soon and too frequently, spoiling acceleration and overtaking ability, while downshifts don't come when expected and are, again, very intrusive, especially for the shift from 2nd to 1st. The DSG doesn't behave like an auto at low speeds, there's no creep and there's a comparatively huge amount of engine braking in 1st. Drive along at low speed, lift off the gas and you come to an abrupt halt, almost as if the parking brake has been left on.

Sport mode is a little better, moving up and downshifts up the rev range a little bit, but it still doesn't allow you to exploit the full expanse of the power band like you want to in a car this flexible.

As a test, I had my auto-only girlfriend drive the Jetta slowly down the private road her parents live on. The first time she lifted off the gas her response was "Ahhhhhh!" The DSG-equipped Jetta just doesn't behave like the average driver expects it to.

Our fear is that the DSG transmission's jerkiness; unpredictability and poor manners will combine with the average American's negative perception of diesel to turn them away from buying the car. Sure, the Continuously Variable Transmissions, on/off engines and electric motors of hybrids result in an odd drive too, but not in a way that would upset the habits of casually careless drivers, in fact the Hybrid driving characteristics play into the "my car is so high-tech I don't understand what it's doing" mindset, the Jetta DSG is just annoying in comparison.

That transmission makes it harder to make a case for the mainstream acceptance of the Jetta TDI over a car like the Toyota Prius. Even with the Jetta TDI's recent 48-state, 58.8 MPG Guinness World Record, the Prius still easily achieves more with an official rating of 50 MPG and hypermiling figures in the 60 and 70 MPG range potentially are easily achievable. Gas is typically cheaper than diesel too.

The end result is a car that we really like, a car that can competently perform everything from people hauling, moving furniture and commuting to driving fast on mountain roads, all for a reasonable price and while returning really good fuel economy. It's also a car that we'd recommend people who'll get the stick should buy. But, the Jetta TDI, when equipped with the DSG transmission, just isn't a car that we think the average American driver will like. That's a shame. Average Americans, we mean.

Press Release: VOLVO CARS TO BE MARKET LEADER IN PLUG-IN HYBRID TECHNOLOGY

Volvo Cars continues to focus heavily on advanced green technology and is now taking yet another major step forward in keeping with the company's over-riding vision - DRIVe Towards Zero. A unique joint project together with Swedish energy supplier Vattenfall is prompting the production of battery-powered Volvos featuring plug-in hybrid technology as early as 2012.

"There is no doubt that the environmental issue is at the very top of Volvo Cars' product development agenda right now," says Stephen Odell, President and CEO of Volvo Cars. "Carbon dioxide emissions from our cars will be drastically reduced by the plan we are now implementing and our aggressive electrification strategy will put us in a leading position when it comes to environmentally optimised passenger transport."

Plug-in electrical hybrids in production by 2012

There are many benefits to plug-in electrical hybrids: carbon dioxide emissions are far lower and with an electric motor offering higher power, the car's performance is also far better. Being able to offer a truly attractive car that does not compromise on the other important properties that the customer wants is an absolute precondition for the market to shift towards more environmentally sustainable alternatives that really do make a difference.

"In fact, I would go so far as to say that the plug-in electrical hybrid we will launch in 2012 will be a true dream car. With the innovative solution we will offer, the car owner will be able to drive a thoroughly enjoyable car packed with Volvo's renowned high safety and genuine driving pleasure", says Stephen Odell.

Stephen Odell says that Volvo Cars' industrial cooperation with Vattenfall opens up entirely new potential for developing future green technologies in a far more efficient way. Working in partnership is something that the company regards as essential in order to generate sustainable development.

"DRIVe Towards Zero is our vision and with Vattenfall's expertise and partnership, we are making giant strides towards our targets. With our updated environmental map for the future, we are reinforcing our leading position in the environmental sphere within the premium segment," concludes Stephen Odell.

The following section presents Volvo Cars' environmental alternative and its map for the future.

DRIVe

At present, Volvo Cars has seven car models that can be specified in DRIVe configuration. The DRIVe badge is attached to those cars in the model range that have extremely low carbon dioxide emissions. Among their many features, these cars have been specially designed for low air resistance and their drivelines are optimised for low fuel consumption. The most fuel-efficient variants are the C30, S40 and V50 1.6D DRIVe, with fuel consumption of 3.9 litres/100 km (104 grams CO2/km).

FlexiFuel

Volvo Cars' FlexiFuel models are powered by E85 (85 percent renewable bioethanol and 15 percent petrol). Bioethanol is an entirely renewable fuel and can be made from a variety of sources such as sugar-cane, wheat and wood by-products. Both Volvo's smaller models (the C30, S40 and V50) and the larger cars (the V70 and S80) are available in FlexiFuel variants. There is a choice of three engine power outputs: the 1.8F producing 125 hp, the 2.0F which produces 145 hp and the turbocharged version, the 231 hp 2.5FT.

Bi-Fuel: V70 2.5FT in gas configuration

Biogas is one of the vehicle fuels with the lowest climate impact. On Volvo Cars' home market, where there is a satisfactory infrastructure for gas supply, the best-selling V70 model will be available in a gas-powered version in 2009. An outside conversion specialist contracted by Volvo Cars will fit the gas tank. The car's range on gas is about 300 km. To back this up there is the 2.5FT 231 hp FlexiFuel engine so the car's total range on biofuel is more than 900 km.

The car can be run on petrol, bioethanol, natural gas, biogas and hytane*.

* Methane gas with 10 percent hydrogen gas mixed in the fuel.

Start/Stop

The Volvo Cars model range also includes engines that switch themselves off when the car comes to a standstill. These so-called micro-hybrids cut fuel consumption by 4-5 percent. This system is even more effective in congested city traffic with frequent stops and starts. Start/Stop is being initially introduced on the C30, S40 and V50 DRIVe and will undergo constant development, and will over time be implemented in additional drivelines.

In 2011, Volvo Cars expects to introduce yet another highly advanced, entirely in-house developed system with even greater savings potential.

GTDi technology

In 2009, Volvo Cars will launch the development of an entirely new generation of high-efficiency petrol engines. These engines will be far more economical and will cut fuel consumption and carbon dioxide emissions by 20-30 percent.

GTDi technology makes it possible to reduce engine size while retaining current performance levels.

Plug-in electrical hybrids

Volvo Cars will put plug-in electrical hybrids on the market as early as 2012. With this technology, there is a battery pack that is used to drive an entirely emission-free electric motor. The battery is recharged via a regular wall socket and in addition, braking energy while on the move is stored and reused. This power system will be supplemented by one of Volvo's high-efficiency diesel engines. This diesel engine is designed to run on renewable synthetic diesel and will meet forthcoming extremely stringent exhaust regulations.

The car's range will be class-leading and what is more, tailpipe exhaust emissions will be virtually non-existent while the car is powered by electricity. If the battery pack is recharged with electricity produced from renewable sources, then carbon dioxide emissions from the lifecycle perspective will also be very low. In the NEDC standardised driving cycle, carbon dioxide emissions from Volvo's plug-in electrical hybrid will be lower than 50 grams/km. The plug-in electrical hybrid will thus qualify into what is known as the super-credit tax incentive band. In several European countries, a variety of incentive programmes such as tax relief will be introduced over the next few years. Cars that emit less than 50 grams of CO2/km will probably be granted the most favourable status.

Battery-powered cars

For short distances in city traffic, dedicated battery-powered cars may well be the next step. Volvo Cars is therefore researching into this area. There are still many challenges that have to be solved with battery cars and the company is working hard to find alternative ways of reducing battery cost, increasing their performance and ensuring that Volvo's high safety requirements are met at all times. At present, there are no battery-powered cars in Volvo's product plans, but the possibility of introducing new green technology is under constant review.

Not only does the A4 TDI get a 2.0-liter diesel cranking out 136 HP and returning a stout 51 MPG, it also gets a six speed manual transmission stop/start technology that works with the manual, and is available Avant format, though it only gets 49 MPG. Yes, if you live in the US, you can't have a German station wagon with six speed and a diesel that gets outstanding fuel economy. Blame California. We'll get the pitchforks.

A diesel I-Mark and a pair of diesel Mazda pickups, and they all seem to be parked at the same spark-ignition-phobic residence.

Styling upgrades for the Q7 are limited to reshaping some of the moldings and the front bumper, a minor tweak to the grille and new LED's sprinkled about. Inside, things get massaged with ambient color tweaks, a revised gauge cluster and swtichgear, but not much else.

The biggest changes are under-hood with the "clean diesel" 3.0 liter V6, which is equipped with a system called Adblue, a urea injection system, and an "energy recuperation technology" which engages the alternator to generate electricity while coasting and braking and stores it in the battery to reduce the demand on the engine. The system helps push fuel economy all the way up to 26.4 MPG. Not too bad for a full-sized SUV. It's also clean enough to kill almost all nitrous oxide emissions and meet the Euro 6 emissions requirements through 2014.

According to unconfirmed reports, BMW has completed development on a tri-turbo version of the twin turbo diesel straight six already doing duty under the hood of the X5. The current 3.0-liter, twin-turbo I6 makes 265 HP but reportedly this upgrade would push output to a heady 354 HP with untold mountains of torque. It would be marketed under the Efficient dynamics banner and get a start-stop system and a regenerative braking system as well. We're most interested to learn how routing two cylinders of exhaust for each turbo will look, should this tasty rumor turn out to be true. [BMW Blog]

Honda originally planed to equip future generations of large cars like the Accord and Acura TL, TSX and RL models with diesel engines capable of returning higher fuel economy than the gas-powered engine lineup and cleaner emissions than many. Combine that with excellent drive-ability thanks to gobs of torque, and they'd have had a winner on their hands. Honda Europe's current 2.2 i-CTDi is widely considered one of the best diesel powertrains on the market. Last year, we tested it in a Honda Civic, getting 72.4 MPG in the process. Now, future generations of that engine will be dropped in favor of gas/electric hybrids as fitted to the 2010 Honda Insight.

The company officially cites the difficulty involved in getting diesels through current US and Japanese emissions test, but we think that's a bunch of hot air. Or at least we'll let our oil-burning love cloud our vision enough to see it that way. [via Automobile]

The #2 Audi R15 of Allan McNish, Tom Kristensen and Dindo Capello lapped the 3.7-mile track in 1:43.596, half a second quicker than their teammates Marco Werner, Lucas Luhr and Mike Rockenfeller in the #1 car, and a full 1.4 seconds clear of the Frenchies in their Peugeot 908’s.

Allan McNish, who scored the first victory for the R15’s predecessor—the R10, pictured above at last year’s race—with teammates Kristensen and Capello at Sebring in 2006, had this to say about the new diesel racer:

The car feels more agile, it feels more reactive, especially at high speed and through Turn 1, which is a very bumpy corner, it’s more stable than the R10 was. We're actually going through there a gear higher.

We’ve got a better response from the engine as well. I think the V10 being a bit shorter and lighter is allowing the chassis to be more agile in the other parts of the circuit.

Performance-wise, what we’ve seen to date is that we’re a little bit ahead of Peugeot on short runs and also on long runs. Acura are very early in their running because they didn't run on Saturday, so I think we’ve got to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to see their full potential.

Poor Peugeot. They have been trying to beat Audi since 2007 to no avail. If the R15 wasn’t such an absolute treat for the aluminum and carbon fiber heart, one would almost feel compelled to root for them.

Source: Autosport.com

Photo Credit: Doug Benc/Getty Images

Why you should buy the 2009 Mercedes ML320 BlueTEC:
You equate sitting up high with safety, diesels with saving money, shiny things with luxury, comfort with performance, shopping with sports, and CSI with entertainment. As a member of the mass affluent you're not rich enough to be special, but have enough money to at least think you are. You married your husband for his money.

Why you shouldn't buy this car:
You have a strong aversion to minivans, ones masquerading as SUVs or otherwise. As a member of the truly wealthy, you need a vehicle that conveys the blue color of your blood and can be used to haul dead game back from your shooting estate. You thought diesels were supposed to be fuel efficient. You thought Mercedes were supposed to be made in Germany by lab coat-wearing, scheisse porn-enjoying technicians. You married your husband for his money, but in this case its real money.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: Yes
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: Yes
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: Yes
Penny Pinchers: No
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: Yes
Soccer Moms: Yes
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: Yes
Very Serious Businessmen: Yes
Sheiklets: No

Also Consider:
• Lexus RX 400h
• Land Rover LR2
• Volkswagen Touareg TDI
• Audi S6 Avant
• BMW X6 xDrive35i
• 1984 300 TD Wagen with suspension lift kit

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Mercedes
• Model: ML320
• Model year: 2009
• Base Price: $48,600
• Price as Tested: $58,165
• Engine type: 3.0-Liter V6 Diesel
• Horsepower: 210 HP @ 3800 rpm
• Torque: 398 lb-ft @ 1600-2400 rpm
• Transmission: 7-Speed Automatic w/paddles
• Curb Weight: 4,974 lbs
• LxWxH: 188.5" x 71.5" x 83.7"
• Wheelbase: 114.7"
• Tires: P225/50 R19
• 0 - 60 mph: 8.0 seconds
• Top Speed: N/A
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 18/24 MPG
• Jalopnik Fuel Economy: 23 MPG (city/highway mix 25/75)
• NHTSA crash test rating: *****/*****

Also see:
• 2009 Mercedes ML320, Part One
• 2009 Mercedes ML320, Part Two

Exterior Design: ****
Compared to the boring first generation ML, the new one is a dramatic step forward. Compared to the rest of the midsize SUV market it's still rather exciting, embracing a flowing profile enhanced with some neat details. The three-bar grille is cleverly indented and, with a satin finish, nicely offsets the rest of the vehicle. Whereas most SUVs finish with a large, flat window bordered by a E-pillar, Mercedes has eschewed past standards in favor of a rearward-slanting C-pillar, giving the appearance of a rear window wrapping around the greenhouse.

Interior Design: **
This SUV has a well-designed and comfortable cockpit, but there's some strange materials and supremely stupid ornaments. The seats are well-sized and feel snug yet unrestrictive, but are unfortunately covered in MB Tex, a nasty fake leather. The column-mounted shifter isn't intuitively designed, but it opens up the center console and leaves an excellent amount of space. The LCD screens behind the front seats are large, clunky and protrude so far it causes claustrophobia. It's almost tacky. On the other hand, the interior lighting is wonderful and casts a warm light over the attractive wood touches. Then there's the size; it's big on the outside and tiny on the inside.

Acceleration: **
Put foot to floor and the turbodiesel throws its torque behind the heavy package. It's not overwhelming but there's a great feeling with all of the torque available low in the range, revealing nice grunt at around 2,000 RPM. Unfortunately, any acceleration other than from a dead stop will cause much displeasure from the 7-speed transmission while it tries to figure out what gear to choose. This is the fault of programming on the intake side, which we'll get to later. Great torque, bad management.

Braking: ***
The ML's 13-inch brakes provide the sort of smooth and gentle glide you'd expect. Given the vehicle's heft I'd prefer a stronger and firmer feel but, honestly, the types of drivers who choose an ML are the same who slam on the brakes at the slightest hint of trouble so maybe they're doing us all a favor.

Ride: ****
This is one smooth-riding car in the true tradition of Mercedes. Even across the worst streets Texas could throw at a vehicle, the ML320 swallows the bumps and uneven surfaces. There's a "sport" and "comfort" mode for a choice in driving styles but, even in "sport" mode it's glass smooth. The big knock against it is, from the enthusiasts perspective, it leads to dull handling. But this isn't an enthusiast's car.

Handling: **
What has always impressed me about most Benzes is the ability to produce a ride so steady you could keep an uncooked egg on the dash coupled with handling, though not BMW-level in its exhilaration, that's extremely competent. Unfortunately, this didn't translate well to the latest ML. Unlike most SUVs there isn't an excess of body roll, but there's no steering feel. Not only is it numb, it's downright difficult to operate. My old diesel Mercedes sedan had a Wheel-of-Fortune-sized steering wheel and, sadly, this is what was carried over to the latest generation of diesels. At least the older one had a quick steering ratio, allowing predictable turns. Not so much with the ML

Gearbox: **
It's hard to judge the 7-speed transmission, which does an admirable job of keeping the mileage high and revs low in seventh, without judging the mechanics behind it. Specifically, we're displeased with the intake and injection programming, which doesn't react to the position of the throttle but rather reads a difference. So, if you're already on the gas and move from 30% of throttle to 50% it doesn't read it as going to half-throttle, it reads as "go faster" and thus doesn't make a big change. In practice, acceleration feels strangely disproportional to throttle input. Even with this fixed, and the rather quick shifts, we're not sure if seven isn't overkill.

Audio: ****
The Harmon Kardon LOGIC7 surround sound system has a stupid name but sounds great. When you buy a premium auto you expect premium sound and the crisp speakers coupled with the powerful subwoofer do the trick. The iPod integration is perfect, allowing easy selection of songs and the additional option of a straight audio-in port is much appreciated for those still not rocking iPods. If we have one complaint about the system, it's with the steering wheel controls, which are far from straight-forward.

Toys: ***
Heated steering wheel? Really? Perhaps the Texan in me couldn't appreciate the additional heating package, but if I go back in my head to when I lived in Illinois I'd probably have also felt it ridiculous. As for the real toys, the Mercedes COMMAND system is at least as frustrating as iDrive. The maps for the GPS system are well-designed but the buttons are a generation behind even cheap domestic systems. I've already complained about the LCD screens in the back, but their use and function are also unnecessarily complex. As with the powertrain, it's good stuff poorly managed.

Value: **
At the base price of $48,600 the ML320 BlueTEC is, in comparison to the $47,100 gas-powered ML350, a good value, providing more power and improved economy at only a slight premium. On the other hand, the addition of the rear-seat entertainment system, the heating package and the audio package jacked the price up to nearly $60K, which is an awful value, especially considering that this is essentially a glorified minivan with fewer seats.

Overall: ***
Considering our love of diesels and our dislike of marshmellowy SUVs I feel conflicted with the ML. There are a lot of aspects the target buyer will like and, actually, it's one of the most attractive four-door Benzes. Unfortunately, for everything I liked about the ML320 there was something that made me either bored or seriously displeased.

The ML gives SUV drivers a luxurious package with semi-impressive mileage that averaged north of 23 MPG over 450 miles and 75% highway driving. Not bad, but not earth shattering either, especially given the current cost differential between gas and diesel. The driver seeking true performance will find the turbo diesel boring and the buyer looking for supreme luxury will, in the end, be disappointed by the material choices and lack of space.

Also see:
• 2009 Mercedes ML320, Part One

The minute I knew I'd be reviewing the diesel-powered Mercedes ML320 BlueTec crossover I drove with my grandparents to Austin to spend some time with my grandmother's German friends Annalie and Boris. True to his heritage, Boris still owns a diesel Mercedes sedan and I wanted to see if this new, ‘Merican-made Merc could live up to his expectations.

While loading my grandparents into the ML, setting out for Austin, I was reminded senior citizens pack well. There was a box of tissue, though no one had a cold. There were a dozen magazines, though the trip was only a couple of hours. There were extra pairs of shoes packed, though we only planned to stay overnight. There was even a bottle of vodka, though I did think they'd find a use for that. Conveniently, there was plenty of room in the "truck" for all this gear.

As we start the journey my grandparents marvel at the incongruous mix of luxuries and near-luxuries the ML320 affords. The material is faux-leather MB-Tex, which is short for soft but disappointing. The LCD screens embedded in the front seats are large and impressive, but they just stick out so far I'm afraid I'm going to put my dear grandmother's head through one of them if I hit the brakes too hard. They love the backup camera even though it's the least helpful one I've ever used. The sound system is pretty good, at least good enough to get my grandmother, who can't hear very well to be able to pick out a Jay-Z/Pavement mix as "Hip Hop."

On the road the vehicle continues to impress the passengers, though I'm less than moved. It handles well for its size and is undeniably smooth sailing, almost to the point of lulling the driver to sleep. The turbo diesel V6 is torquey, providing überthrust at low RPM. Unfortunately, the 7-Speed "driver adaptive" transmission is more interested in squeezing out the last drop of pee-scented diesel than "adapting" to my driving style of screaming onto the Interstate.

Climbing into a hillier, more affluent part of Austin we blend in well. Here this is the "small" Mercedes-Benz, impressing no one with its near-$60K price. The nav did a good job of getting us to our destination, but Gigi complained it wasn't the "more scenic" route we often take. There's no button to select a grandma-approved route.

Taking advantage of some time spent "resting their eyes" I sneak off to visit some old, but much younger friends. These would be the same people who remember my previous Mercedes diesel, a 1982 300D with five-cylinders of un-turbocharged molasses short on speed but brimming with character. To them, this Benzie is a bit more impressive (and equals the annual wage of any two of my friends combined). Even better than the price, I show off the adjustable suspension and raise the ML320's height to a point where I can roll over the parking barriers with ease. A feature that likely gets used more frequently at Neiman Marcus than in the woods.

When I get back to Annalie's house the vokda is gone.

Somehow, the whole group was up by 7:30 AM and ready for me to drive them for a Tex-Mex breakfast. This was my chance to grill Boris. As you might expect, Boris lives up to the stereotype and owns a late ‘90s E300 turbo diesel. He admits this current iteration, with its bells-and-whistles, is quicker and probably better. Unfortunately for me, he doesn't seem interested in a trade. He loves his sedan. He loves the look. He loves the mileage. This white SUV is nice, but it's clearly more of an American status symbol thing than what either of us thinks of as a true touring Mercedes.

This isn't to say a Mercedes can't be an SUV, it's just to say this particular Mercedes has had all of what we love about Benzs engineered out of it. Boris' car is unapologetic about its German-ness. Merely stepping into an older Mercedes, the heft of the door as it locks into place, sends a message. Driving one, even my older 300D with its relatively sluggish performance and putt-putting engine, transmits to the driver a sense of strength that has nothing to do with airbags or anti-rollover protection and everything to do with a well-built machine equally capable of driving the Autobahn as it is crashing through a bank wall. It's like driving a luxurious tank. The ML320, sadly, masks this connection behind a layer of marshmallow creme.

The trip back is comfortable. No one is hungover. I ignore the nav system and take the pretty way home even though I'm hours late thanks to the slow way in which older generations eat breakfast. I put on a newer comedy album hoping the comic's mellow style lands with my grandparents. It doesn't. Then I put on a Woody Allen comedy album from the 1960s. Huge hit.

What's old isn't necessarily bad but, in looking back on three generations of diesel Mercedes, what's new isn't necessarily better. It's just newer.

Don’t worry, the Buick Grand National is still present, along with Vin Diesel and plenty of explosions. We’re guessing they added the babe-on-babe to tie up the prepubescent audience even better.

Hit our Super Bowl Ad Watch tag page for the rest of tonight’s big commercials from the big game!