If you're like most people, the first thing you think when confronted with an object is "I wonder if I can draw some penises on that?" One unknown hero of dick-doodling looked up at the sky and thought the same thing. One person dreamed of drawing some penises on the very face of God, and then actually did it.
The troupe of happy-go-lucky gadabouts who make up Ryanair's ground crew exercised their rights as human beings by drawing a giant snowdick on the powdery tarmac of the runway. Philistines soon complained about the glorious snow-penis, but Ryanair, to their credit, handled Snowdickgate like a champ.
Somewhere in one of Kid Rock's residences, perhaps the large mansion he bought on Detroit's riverfront recently, is a glass dildo given to him as a gift. He's been subpoenaed to hand over that dildo to be used as evidence in a Juggalo-centric sexual harassment lawsuit.
After receiving a cease-and-desist from the San Francisco City Attorney, MonkeyParking – the app enables dicks to sell their public parking spaces in SF – is shutting down its service in the city.
Remember MonkeyParking? It's the app that lets you auction your parking space in San Francisco to the highest bidder. We called it a dick move, and the SF City Attorney agrees. They just sent the app's creator a cease-and-desist.
The Sultan Of Brunei is often called the "World's Biggest Car Collector," because, namely, he has a lot of cars. But Jay Leno hates him. And you should, too.
Yo, nature! You're crazy, bro. You have to know you're crazy. I mean, you do a great job with a lot of shit—my teeth totally grind up food like a boss; my precision grip is hella virtuosic on the DVR remote; my feet and pelvic angle crush verticality. But seriously, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL WITH BALLS?