• Jalopnik
  • spy-photos
  • jalopnik-reviews
  • Profile logout login

#deadspin#msg58469

Jalopnik

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #offtopic,
  • #tips,
  • #spyphotos,
  • etc.

Detroit, 4:09 AM
Sat Dec 5
26 posts in the last 24 hours

Contact

Tip your editors:

Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | | AIM

Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler |

Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin |

Associate Editor - Houston:

Associate Editor - Detroit:

Editor-at-Large:

Contributors:

John Krewson |

Follow Jalopnik on:
Facebook
Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1753 Subscribers
Jalopnik
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Brian Brian
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    After running this through our collision estimating software (I work for a software company in the space), this appears to be $5,070.66 worth of damage. Obviously without inspecting the vehicle in person, I could be off by a bit but I think this is pretty close. My assumptions was that this is a 2008 Escalade ESV Platinum in Black Mica.

    Tiger, just a word of advice: You can rent 5 top shelf hookers for the cost of this damage. They specialize in discretion; it's sort of their stock in trade, if you know what I mean. I strongly suggest that your consider this next time you're needing a little "strange."
     Reply
    Edited by Brian at 12/03/09 4:06 PM Brian was starred Brian was unstarred
    Image of Brian Brian
    12/03/09

    @Brian: Ok, I was way off. My labor rates were set to zero and I didn't account for front suspension, core support or replacing the front rim/tire.

    Revised bid: $9,900 (or 10 top-shelf hookers)
     Reply
    Brian was starred Brian was unstarred
    Image of LTDScott LTDScott
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    I guess the physics book didn't state "For every hot mistress there is an equally pissed off spousal reaction."
     Reply
    LTDScott was starred LTDScott was unstarred
    Image of FrankGrimes FrankGrimes
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    I think he was reading that book when he crashed. Explains the crash and also the book ricocheted around breaking the windows.

    I am sure the probability theory might explain the odds that a textbook on physics could bounce around a Cadillac interior and break two windows on opposite sides of the car leaving the glass inside.

    I wonder if the book said "Oh no not again."

    Scientists will be studying this for years.
     Reply
    FrankGrimes was starred FrankGrimes was unstarred
    Image of oddfish oddfish
    12/03/09

    @FrankGrimes: I bet next time Tiger just stays home and watches "Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land."

    That seems safer.
     Reply
    FrankGrimes promoted this comment oddfish was starred oddfish was unstarred
    Image of FrankGrimes FrankGrimes
    12/03/09

    @oddfish: I am checking youtube for this "Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land"
     Reply
    FrankGrimes was starred FrankGrimes was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    12/03/09

    @FrankGrimes: Schrodinger's Cat strikes again.
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of FrankGrimes FrankGrimes
    12/03/09

    @Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: Or Toonces.
     Reply
    FrankGrimes was starred FrankGrimes was unstarred
    Image of Skunky Skunky
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    Any pelican feathers?
     Reply
    Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred
    Image of Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
    12/01/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    Could we just shoot ALL professional athletes? I'm willing to lose Slatan IbrahimoviƧ if it means less of this kinds of ****.
     Reply
    Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was starred Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was unstarred
    Image of brandegee brandegee
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    I see that someone else is deserving of the Ghost Ride The Whip Box.
     Reply
    brandegee was starred brandegee was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    Shaq and Birdman: putting the "Sport" in "SportChassis"
     Reply
    Edited by pauljones at 11/30/09 11:29 AM pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of FTGDWolverineEdition'09 FTGDWolverineEdition'09
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    Must've given up flying.
     Reply
    FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was starred FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    Birdman?
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    11/30/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: Why oh why did I not think of that?
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    11/30/09

    @pauljones: The Hawk guy from the Buck Rodgers TV show had a better haircut than "Gimli with wings."
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of HoonThatFerrari HoonThatFerrari
    12/01/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: HA! +100
     Reply
    HoonThatFerrari was starred HoonThatFerrari was unstarred
    Image of Steve_in_NC Steve_in_NC
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    drill here drill now! we must be able to feed this beast!
     Reply
    Steve_in_NC was starred Steve_in_NC was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    This is a proper SUV, built by winter-crazed Canuckians.

    That thing at the top of the page is just a Freightliner with a truck bed and a camper top. And I can't wait to see photos of it with a phone pole up its nose - you know that's what comes next, right?

    -edit- Aw, dang. The photo won't post and the company seems to have gone toes-up, or else I'd get art directly from them.
     Reply
    Edited by Elhigh at 11/30/09 11:06 AM Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    Some guys just want bigger toys.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    11/30/09

    @skaycog was here: And that, quite literally, is what she said.

    Personally, I care less about the size of the car and more about the size of the engine running it.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    11/30/09

    @pauljones: That's true, but good mileage is of utmost importance no matter what size engine.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    11/30/09

    @skaycog was here: Exactly. It's not about the size, it's about the stamina.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Tanshanomi Tanshanomi
    11/30/09

    @skaycog was here: Some girls, too.
     Reply
    Tanshanomi was starred Tanshanomi was unstarred
    Image of Uncle Bo Uncle Bo
    11/30/09

    @skaycog was here:

    No worries. There are additives from the aftermarket which extenze your mileage. Plus, they don't harm the environment.
     Reply
    Uncle Bo was starred Uncle Bo was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    11/30/09

    @pauljones: Of course, stamina. I guess that comes with good performance.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    11/30/09

    @Tanshanomi: There are girls like that.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    11/30/09

    @Uncle Bo: I've seen those additives advertised on TV. I think one guy is named Bob, and he has a big grin on his face.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of mr_dude mr_dude
    11/30/09

    @skaycog was here: What about rebound stiffness? Compression? Air conditioning?
     Reply
    mr_dude was starred mr_dude was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    11/30/09

    @mr_dude: Yes, all those are important (maybe not the a/c). Just keep all components of your vehicle, whatever the size, in good condition for peak performance.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of mr_dude mr_dude
    11/30/09

    @skaycog was here: Timing? Injector spray? Body rust?
     Reply
    mr_dude was starred mr_dude was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    11/30/09

    @mr_dude:
    Timing: Strive for perfect timing, the ultimate.
    Injector spray: Definitely important in preventing performance problems.
    Body rust: Never, never, in any circumstances let that occur.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    That is one big birdhouse.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Alfisted Alfisted
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    Wonder why he didn't spring for some oversize rims.
     Reply
    Alfisted was starred Alfisted was unstarred
    Image of Rust-MyEnemy Rust-MyEnemy
    11/30/09

    In reply to Birdman Copies Shaq, Buys Ginormous SportChassis P4XL SUV
    The hopeless little fender flares on the bed made coffee spray liberally over my keyboard, files and customer paperwork. Excellent.
     Reply
    Rust-MyEnemy was starred Rust-MyEnemy was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jalopnik account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.