After a three lap sprint to the finish after some BS caution shenanigans Ryan Newman is the winner of the 2008 Daytona 500. We certainly bagged the first 9/10ths of the race, but the final couple of minutes was less than unexciting. Congratulations to team Alltel and all the work that went into securing the victory. We …

Yeah, between laps 187 (on the mu f**n cop) and lap 192, things were tightly controlled by that Corvette Z06 Pace car. Making things incredibly exciting. Wait... hooooooooly crap look at the sparks form underneath Casey Mears' car, looks like the fourth of July in the poor kids neighborhood. Of course those sparklers…

Though it didn't involve fireballs or barrel rolls, there was a spin out on lap 176. Jimmie Johnson got loose in turn 2 and got a bit friendly with Sam Hornish Jr. and Martin Truex Jr. during the spinny aftermath. Nobody was seriously damaged or forced out of the race, but it's way more exciting than staring at the…

We were elbow deep in delicious burger when David Ragan slammed into the wall creating major damage to the front of his generic sponsormobile, so please excuse our lack of relevant crappy photo of the television. Instead, we assumed you'd enjoy this vaguely disturbing hirsute tribute to the Intimidator. With Ragan's…

Maintaining its ISO14001 enviable zero lost time accidents record, the 2008 Daytona 500 forges on. Even though many pitstops have occurred which we should be interested in, the cute waitress who just started her shift is way more engaging than this race. At this point, every telecaster worth his stones is delving into…

Lap 80 saw some pace car action from "debris on the track", which is entirely less exciting than "massive fireball" or "barrel roll of death from hell", but it did give many of the competitors a chance to fuel up or re-tire. We're looking outside right now at Michigan's rain over snow at 46 degrees, while enviously watching…

If hockey and bowling had a kid, it would be more interesting than this race so far. Does anybody watch NASCAR for the race? No. Every fanboy out there watches it for the crashes. Don't give me that crap about team work and the precision of the pit stop. I want to see carnage. I'm not an ogre though, nobody wants to…

It's lap 35, and while we didn't capture the moment it happened on Fox's Gopher Cam, Denny Hamlin (who?) has wrested the lead from his other template car drivin' buddies. We're on the edge of our seats and despite the overwhelming onslaught of "Built Ford Tough" ads, we're sticking with this bitchin' race... all the way…

Despite the barely palatable buildup from all manner of whogivesacrap singers, the race has begun. With AJ Foyt at the wheel of the Corvette Zo6 pace car and Richard Petty dropping the green on this years historic 50th running of the Daytona 500, the race is on. Pole sitter, Jimmie Johnson is driving a car that looks…

Have you ever seen coverage of a sporting event where the reporter as literally no idea what the context is? Well, like Dennis Miller on NFL's Monday Night Football, I'll be liveblogging this years running of NASCAR's Daytona 500, which will be starting right about 3:30 EST, with the green flag being dropped by the…

At today's qualifying session for the 50th running of the "Great American Race," Jimmie Johnson clinched the pole for next Sunday's race with a lap speed of 185.082mph today on the 2.5-mile banked tri-oval. It's a good way for Johnson to start out a season where he's looking to match the record set by the great Cale…

More of this and less thanking of sponsors and we might well give a flying doody about top-rank stock car racing again. – Davey G. Johnson