• daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Winner Ryan Newman

    After a three lap sprint to the finish after some BS caution shenanigans Ryan Newman is the winner of the 2008 Daytona 500. We certainly bagged the first 9/10ths of the race, but the final couple of minutes was less than unexciting. Congratulations to team Alltel and all the work that went into securing the victory. We look forward to not understanding the ramifications to the points system and later making more generic racing jokes at the expense of the NASCAR. It's been a pleasure to bring you this lackluster coverage, now to tend to that waitress...

    6:58 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    3,779 views, 32 comments

    Latest by RonRipple.com: Ben,Thanks for the great coverage! It's obvious you have a lot of air between your ears to not understand Nascar... Keep more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Many of Final Laps Surprisingly Run Under Caution

    Yeah, between laps 187 (on the mu f**n cop) and lap 192, things were tightly controlled by that Corvette Z06 Pace car. Making things incredibly exciting. Wait... hooooooooly crap look at the sparks form underneath Casey Mears' car, looks like the fourth of July in the poor kids neighborhood. Of course those sparklers lead to another series of caution laps, but oh no, there they go, final 3 laps... hang on to your butts.

    6:57 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    558 views, 4 comments

    Latest by CEman: Anyone who actually watches these races is not too surprised by the cautions. On plate tracks, one tends to lead more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Spinouts... FINALLY

    Though it didn't involve fireballs or barrel rolls, there was a spin out on lap 176. Jimmie Johnson got loose in turn 2 and got a bit friendly with Sam Hornish Jr. and Martin Truex Jr. during the spinny aftermath. Nobody was seriously damaged or forced out of the race, but it's way more exciting than staring at the salt crystals on the table.

    6:33 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    605 views, 6 comments

    Latest by -chet: If there isnt any fire or cars flipping wildly at 180, Nasscar needs to look into pyrotechnics or some bagged more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Finally, Something Happens

    We were elbow deep in delicious burger when David Ragan slammed into the wall creating major damage to the front of his generic sponsormobile, so please excuse our lack of relevant crappy photo of the television. Instead, we assumed you'd enjoy this vaguely disturbing hirsute tribute to the Intimidator. With Ragan's shenanigans in play, the field was shuffled around and now everybody's favorite son Dale Earnhardt Jr. is leading the pack.

    6:22 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    1,860 views, 13 comments

    Latest by STR8SIX: One of my fraternity brothers in college was just as hairy as the Earnhardt fan in the photo. Before more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Three Quarters Done

    Maintaining its ISO14001 enviable zero lost time accidents record, the 2008 Daytona 500 forges on. Even though many pitstops have occurred which we should be interested in, the cute waitress who just started her shift is way more engaging than this race. At this point, every telecaster worth his stones is delving into the minutia of NASCAR mechanics in an attempt to make this race exciting. If you are an actual fan, things have probably been pretty interesting... More »

    6:01 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    405 views, 2 comments

    Latest by tikipirate: Maybe it's time to beat the crowd to Gusoline Alley? more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Lap 109, Sweet God in Heaven. It's More Than Half Over

    Lap 80 saw some pace car action from "debris on the track", which is entirely less exciting than "massive fireball" or "barrel roll of death from hell", but it did give many of the competitors a chance to fuel up or re-tire. We're looking outside right now at Michigan's rain over snow at 46 degrees, while enviously watching Daytona's 77 and sunny and quietly hating everyone there. We would consider it fair if the fans in the stands also had to sit through as many unfunny Semi Pro ads as we're enduring. Also, Matt Kenseth is in the lead, is that newsworthy?

    5:21 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    540 views, 8 comments

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Lap 74, Kyle Busch Leads

    If hockey and bowling had a kid, it would be more interesting than this race so far. Does anybody watch NASCAR for the race? No. Every fanboy out there watches it for the crashes. Don't give me that crap about team work and the precision of the pit stop. I want to see carnage. I'm not an ogre though, nobody wants to see wanton injury, but come on, we're 74 laps into this thing and NOBODY sees fit to accidentally fidget behind the wheel? Not so much as a puff of tire smoke. Waitress... another please!

    4:42 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    604 views, 19 comments

    Latest by snarktastic: @Ben Wojdyla: Agreed. I wasn't disparaging curling at all. I watched it last Winter Olympics and was still more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: That Didn't Take Long, Denny Hamlin Steals Lead

    It's lap 35, and while we didn't capture the moment it happened on Fox's Gopher Cam, Denny Hamlin (who?) has wrested the lead from his other template car drivin' buddies. We're on the edge of our seats and despite the overwhelming onslaught of "Built Ford Tough" ads, we're sticking with this bitchin' race... all the way until we pass out to the end. In case you were wondering, Fox Sports' coverage makes us want to strangle something. So far, the most entertaining part has been the ad where kids are controlling the cars via radio controller and they eff it up just like everybody does in Gran Tourismo. Also, gorillas + Earnhardt jr... WTF?

    4:15 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    327 views, 3 comments

    Latest by UDMan: @Novaload: And you were surprised at that move? Just wait, Tony Snow will be re-hired, and waiting in the wings more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

    Despite the barely palatable buildup from all manner of whogivesacrap singers, the race has begun. With AJ Foyt at the wheel of the Corvette Zo6 pace car and Richard Petty dropping the green on this years historic 50th running of the Daytona 500, the race is on. Pole sitter, Jimmie Johnson is driving a car that looks like all the other cars save the fun decals and colors but he's in front. Now they're driving in a big circle.... weeeeee. Man, those car's of tomorrow sure are spoilerific. There's a breakdown of the starting grid below the fold, even though it's probably uncontrollably mixed up by now. More »

    3:42 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    464 views, 9 comments

    Latest by -chet: @Mike the Dog: Me too. Weld in a cage off a showroom model, throw in a race seat and a fire more »

  • daytona 500

    2008 Daytona 500: Liveblogging From Rock on Third!

    Have you ever seen coverage of a sporting event where the reporter as literally no idea what the context is? Well, like Dennis Miller on NFL's Monday Night Football, I'll be liveblogging this years running of NASCAR's Daytona 500, which will be starting right about 3:30 EST, with the green flag being dropped by the legendary Richard Petty. I'll be here at Royal Oak's most down to Earth bar, Rock on Third doing my worst to document the progess of this afternoon's race. Of course, two dollar Buds and delicious hamburgers may conspire with my already awful spelling and grammar to make things really fun, so hang out for the worst NASCAR coverage you've ever seen.

    2:30 PM on Sun Feb 17 2008
    By Ben Wojdyla
    315 views, 12 comments

    Latest by Ben Wojdyla: Mike only did that once last night, small crowd during race time. more »