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Detroit, 6:47 AM
Tue Dec 1
28 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #datsun810 more →

    Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!

    1982 Datsun Voice Warning Box Used Tiny Phonograph Record, Just Like Moon Base Robots

    1981 Datsun 810, aka 1981 Nissan Maxima
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Rust-MyEnemy Rust-MyEnemy
    06/14/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    I rarely come on here these days, but Murilee and the outrageous world of anachronistic futurism a`la obsolescent 80's machinery keep me coming back at weekend.


    Shine on, Phil, you Crazy Diamond.

     Reply
    Rust-MyEnemy was starred Rust-MyEnemy was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/14/09

    @Rust-MyEnemy: HOT PISS! Rusty's back!
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Rust-MyEnemy Rust-MyEnemy
    06/15/09

    @Ambiguously Fuzzy Plushroom: And not just my Back! Whassup, bitches?!
     Reply
    Rust-MyEnemy was starred Rust-MyEnemy was unstarred
    Image of ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig. ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig.
    06/14/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    There's a LeMons punishment in there somewhere, I know it!
     Reply
    ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig. was starred ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig. was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    06/14/09

    @☠Grяrяrяrяrя sings the doom song now!: I'm not wasting that cool device on a LeMons punishment. I've got some cheapo solid-state noisemakers that are way more unpleasant.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of MrEvil MrEvil
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    Man if only newer cars had one of these voice modules, but you could change the message. I'd put in Eddie Murphy's talking cars bit.


    "Say man, I think someone just stole your battery. I say we go get the motherfucker!"

     Reply
    MrEvil was starred MrEvil was unstarred
    Image of ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-TOAD ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-TOAD
    06/13/09

    @MrEvil:

    Dials read out of gas.

    me: *not noticing*

    car: "Shrek, I'm a donkey!"

    passenger: *leaves car*
     Reply
    ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-TOAD was starred ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-TOAD was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/14/09

    @darkstar: I shouldn't be laughing this hard...
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of B1663R B1663R
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
     Reply
    B1663R was starred B1663R was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/13/09

    @B1663R: "Spell 'caravan.'"

    "Your engine is overheating. Prompt service is required."


    I almost fell out of my chair.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    06/14/09

    @B1663R:

    Again, tearful laughing. It's like entering a debate with Professor Hawking...
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    We had one of the first crappy talking cameras. It was from Japan and they didn't even try to get a fluent woman; we'd hear things like "Too dock! Use frash!"

    Twas more amusing than helpful.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of MrEvil MrEvil
    06/13/09

    @Novaload Misses Murilee: That just made me LOL. I award you an Internet Novaload.
     Reply
    MrEvil was starred MrEvil was unstarred
    Image of YouCreepyOldFart YouCreepyOldFart
    06/14/09

    @Novaload Misses Murilee: Like this one:
     Reply
    YouCreepyOldFart was starred YouCreepyOldFart was unstarred
    Image of YouCreepyOldFart YouCreepyOldFart
    06/14/09

    @YouCreepyOldFart:
     Reply
    YouCreepyOldFart was starred YouCreepyOldFart was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/14/09

    @YouCreepyOldFart: Yeah, our camera was some cheap-o offbrand first year import POS.

    If only it had spoken so clearly! We had lots of very blurry pictures due to the photographer of the moment still laughing from the camera's inscrutable alarms and warnings.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/14/09

    @MrEvil: Thanks. I award you a heartclicky in case you're also named after the notorious MoPar Mr.Evil.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    06/14/09

    @Novaload Misses Murilee:

    Oh my God! I haven't stopped laughing/tearing up since I read it. ..!
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of 01SNKOWNR 01SNKOWNR
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    that brings back memories of my '84 Chrysler Laser XE. 'HAL' seemed like a great thing, until I had to help a friend move a table and had to use the Laser since the truck was in the shop getting a complete brake rebuild. FIFTEEN miles in heavy traffic having the damn thing tell me 'the rear hatch was opened'...
     Reply
    01SNKOWNR was starred 01SNKOWNR was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/13/09

    @01SNKOWNR: I wonder if TI25's Lazor has this? Probably not, or he would have shown it off already.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    What you need to do, Murilee, is find an ancient Muzak-brand PA amp (oddly, my dad found one, and naturally wired it up to at least one speaker in every room of my folks' house), and broadcast random messages in traffic.


    ...From the Crown Vic, while Wanky The Safety Cat lets everyone know what you're up to.

     Reply
    Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was starred Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was unstarred
    Image of PlayerX PlayerX
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    My grandmother had a silver 1985 Maxima with one of these things. Ever since then, whenever I think of it, a voice speaks to me from my memories: "La clef est dans le contact!" (the key is in the ignition switch, in French - I grew up in Montreal)
     Reply
    PlayerX was starred PlayerX was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/13/09

    @PlayerX: ...I wish these were available in Swedish.


    Actually, I could achieve this with a flash drive, a bit less work, a lot less hunting for cars that were all scrapped a decade ago up here in New Hampshire, and a Swedish friend of mine. He kinda owes me one anyway, as I'm helping him overclock his computer.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of JC Whitless JC Whitless
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    You do realize a cheap digital memory recorder could serve the same purpose for any needs you want to hack this for, right?


    Sure it won't have the levels of cool associated with it, or take as many mind melting hours of soldering and wire stripping, but it would work the first time.


    I'm thinking if I want to make a custom alert system in my car, I'll just rig up a Fischer Price tape deck and blast the inside of my 300 with the sweet sounds of warning messages from Star Trek.





    What the hell, I guess it is better suited for a custom shaved handled Focus wagon.

     Reply
    JC Whitless was starred JC Whitless was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    06/13/09

    @JCWhitless:


    No, this is not my car...

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/13/09

    @Ambiguously Strolling Player: Come on Marc, just admit it.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    06/13/09

    @JCWhitless: I'm not going to hack the messages themselves; the whole point is to keep the super-crazy phonograph-based device.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of JC Whitless JC Whitless
    06/13/09

    @Murilee Martin: Kinda like owning a vehicle that is positive ground?


    Torture, pain, and general fear of the unknown?

     Reply
    JC Whitless was starred JC Whitless was unstarred
    Image of JC Whitless JC Whitless
    06/13/09

    @Ambiguously Strolling Player:


    Racing Disk wheel covers. Check

    Hybrid Car for Geeks. Check

    Correct shuttlecraft markings. Check

    Virginity......permanently assured.

     Reply
    JC Whitless was starred JC Whitless was unstarred
    Image of BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
    06/13/09

    @JCWhitless: The lady loves to play with satanic and hellish toy´s, you never seen her with high heeled boots, latex clothing and a whip?
     Reply
    BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ was starred BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ was unstarred
    Image of JC Whitless JC Whitless
    06/13/09

    @BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ: Oh I have. I had to early on do my share of boot licking. I have lernt to respect madams wishes.
     Reply
    JC Whitless was starred JC Whitless was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    Oh, my, god.


    Need to make custom 'disks' for this.

     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/13/09

    @TexanIdiot25- needs a edit buton... EDIT: Needs an edit but...: "Your-Nixon-is-stuck. Please-punch-your-Nixon."
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
    06/13/09

    @TexanIdiot25- needs a edit buton... EDIT: Needs an edit but...: "Close the #$&% door, you @%#$!"


    "While it might look like a door, it is in fact a jar"


    "WARNING: Dilithium crystal charge rates are low"


    "Avast! th' larboard hatches be open, cap'n!"

     Reply
    discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was starred discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was unstarred
    Image of JawzX2: Hoon The Earth @ www.cafepress.com/jawzx2 JawzX2: Hoon The Earth @ www.cafepress.com/jawzx2
    06/13/09

    @discontinuuity is once again meme-free: oh god i want my car to talk pirate to in the worst way! i would settle for a woman doing it though...
     Reply
    JawzX2: Hoon The Earth @ www.cafepress.com/jawzx2 was starred JawzX2: Hoon The Earth @ www.cafepress.com/jawzx2 was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/13/09

    @JawzX2: Now with 100% more employment!: Let me be the first to tell you that there were women pirates and they could probably kick all our asses.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    06/14/09

    @Novaload Misses Murilee: More than likely.
     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    Time to put that shit in the Civic.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    06/13/09

    @Ambiguously Fuzzy Plushroom: YES! And with exterior loudspeakers, perhaps with an on-command option!
     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/13/09

    In reply to Datsun Voice Warning Phonograph Mystery Solved: It Talks!
    Murilee, you need to change your username to DJ Murilee Maxima.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of _T_ _T_
    05/11/09

    In reply to 1982 Datsun Voice Warning Box Used Tiny Phonograph Record, Just Like Moon Base Robots
    please tell me that this is somehow going to become a LeMons bad driving punishment. P.L.E.A.S.E.
     Reply
    _T_ was starred _T_ was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    05/11/09

    @_T_: Oh, I'm working on an audio punishment that's way more cruel.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of CaryAntion CaryAntion
    05/10/09

    In reply to 1982 Datsun Voice Warning Box Used Tiny Phonograph Record, Just Like Moon Base Robots
    My '85 Maxima had that feature. We called her Betty, and always appreciated her for not letting us leave the lights on and running down the battery. ("Lights are ON" "Oh! Thank you, Betty!")
     Reply
    CaryAntion was starred CaryAntion was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    05/10/09

    @CaryAntion: My '89 Volvo 240DL (and previous 24x models a good ~10 years prior) have a much simpler method: if your car is off, your lights are off. Just leave your lights on 24/7, you'll never run down your battery, because they don't get power without the key in the ignition.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of BoyceBabasaur BoyceBabasaur
    05/09/09

    In reply to 1982 Datsun Voice Warning Box Used Tiny Phonograph Record, Just Like Moon Base Robots
    I can't believe you show all this coolness and yet NO audio clip of what it sounds like??

    -pk
     Reply
    BoyceBabasaur was starred BoyceBabasaur was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    05/10/09

    @BoyceBabasaur: I can't get it to work... yet! I was sort of hoping one of you readers could give me some tips about making it work.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
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