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Detroit, 3:40 AM
Sat Nov 21
31 posts in the last 24 hours
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09/09/09
09/08/09
Nascar sucks.
09/08/09
Most of these "talented drivers" do not have the skills to hang with the rednecks (see: D. Franchitti, P. Carpentier), so they go back to their cabernet and brie pansy series where the hair care products are better and the popped collar is haute couture.
Show me some real talent from any open wheel series that can wheel with the trailer trash on a boring ass oval, and I'll show you a dirt track racin' redneck with a bad attitude from Indiana who can dominate your driver on any track at any time.
09/08/09
I wouldn't call the world champ of bumper cars a superior driver.
Nascar = WWF of the automotive world.
(Hence why most nascar crowds look like those at a WWF monday night event)
F1 and other open wheel classes dwarf Nascar in fans worldwide, so obviously the fans have spoken. Wait, Nascar has no fans worldwide. Oops.
09/08/09
How about first we get some coverage of what Franchitti, Dixon, Kanaan, Wheldon, Hornish Jr., and Castroneves plan to do next year?
THEN let's breathlessly discuss the plans of the seventh place driver.
09/08/09
Guess you aren't paying attention much. Hornish is in NASCAR and no longer races open wheel. Franchitti, Dixon, and Helio are in the top 4 points, behind Briscoe who is leading. All four of those drivers are with the dominant teams in the sport.
Wheldon and Kanaan are below Danica in points.
Danica is 5th in points, the best driver of the second tier teams.
Considering her equipment is not class leading, I'd say she is doing a great job this year. Her more experienced counterparts are not performing as well as she is.
09/09/09
09/08/09
Damn you for bringing Tits Guy back. Damn you forever, from the steaming pits of my eye sockets.
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
Dear Ben,
In the body of this comment you will find a slightly less terrifying version of your pictures viewed above. Please feel free to use this image.
Mister Danger
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
I know the majority of you guys don't even like NASCAR, but I bet some of you will watch with Danica racing. If you didn't know, she has a habit of tearing off her racing suit when she crawls out of the car. I'm still a half-fast NASCAR fan, and will cheer her on (unless she turns out to be a bitch).
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
It's still funny either way.
09/08/09
09/08/09
Sorry, I love you Ben... but... sometimes you gotta lay down the mantit law.
09/08/09
09/08/09
Anyway, this was bound to happen with Danica and it will probably be a lot better for her publicity and NASCAR's publicity. But, it will probably end up being the death of the IRL, which is ok with me- bring on US F1.
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
The NASCAR monster grows ever stronger, but Danica doesn't deserve the credit for killing the IRL, that was sentenced to death in '96 when they split from CART.
Open wheel racing will likely never work in the US. It's like soccer (futbol): it's complicated and it's beauty is in its subtleties, the minority of Americans who can appreciate it are stuck with small-time imitations or forced to seek out access to the real European stuff.
09/08/09
09/08/09
09/08/09
Personally, I've a heard a few opinions that Danica's a bit of a prima donna, and her results haven't exactly set the world ablaze. I haven't directly been involved but from what I've read of her tirades and rants yeah, I can see where she's a little spoiled.
Her biggest exposure has come though all those Go Daddy ads and men's rag spreads... hardly a ringing endorsement of track talent; if not for those she'd still be just a curiosity in the IRL. Which is nothing special anyway as ironically, NASCAR has already been there, done that.
At any rate, I certainly don't wish ill of her endeavors and if she takes the series by storm, more power to her. But she's not the second coming for Nascar. And I won't be tuning in to see if I'm wrong or right.
09/08/09
I'm aware of the other women who have ran stock cars, but Danica has exposed herself, so to speak, in a way those others didn't. While many women just want to be recognized as talented race car drivers Danica has, for quite some time, been taking advantage of the fact that she's a sex symbol. She was dressing in tight-leather outfits and hosting TNT's Power Block back before she suited up for the IRL.
I've watched her race since her Toyota Atlantic days... I'm not a fan or a follower, but I watch enough racing that I keep up. She's not stellar, and hasn't been since returning to the US. To my knowledge that single IRL victory was her first since her go-cart days. But she's got a tantrum to throw after every poor showing/wreck. There are lots of hot-headed racecar drivers, but she comes across as a bit more juvenile.
I'm pretty much agreeing with you here, I don't hope she does bad. But, neither her nor NASCARs solvency depends on this deal. I wont be following her either, at least as long as she's racing the Truck series and Kyle Busch series. But if she makes it to Cup I'll be watching the race between her and little E for the highest Popularity to Wins ratio.
09/08/09
08/13/09
Late entry but I believe worthy... in so many ways...
08/12/09
COLEMAN: "Fuckin'-A-Skippy! I get do to something else besides say: 'Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?'"
HASSELHOFF: "I've just ingested fifteen grams of Peruvian Flake, and BOYYYY am I fucked-up! Who's this f*cking Toys'R'Us mannequin standing next to me?"
FIDDYCENT: "BeeyAAATCH, Ho, muthafacka-muthafucka... n*gggAAAAA please! Oh, and PEACE!"
TRAVOLTA: "Check it, Mista Kottah - I can make a noise like a motahcycle... 'Waaaahhhh, WAAwwwuuuuuhhh", Wauuunnnnnh".'
M.LAWRENCE: "Wat the f*ck are you doin', bitch? And who the f*ck is this Mr. Kotter?"
T.ALLEN: "I think he's channelling a character from a previous acting life... or maybe Xenu."
M.JOHNSON: "I am WAY too cool for this shot... and definitely too cool for the Armani linen jacket they wanted me to wear... WTF do they think this is, Miami f*ckin' Vice or some shit like that?"
M.KUNIS: "I have no ass... see? Really, no ass whatsoever. No kidding - this is really me... me with no ass. Ass-less people can be considered handicapped, can't they?"
PHELPS: "See this thing I'm doing with my hand? It's a surfer thing - originated in Hawaii... no, I don't surf, it's just to make me look cool, just like the pot-smoking thing - I mean I don't know what cool is, since I've spent my entire life in a swimming pool since I was four with no social interaction whatsoever, so I saw this surfer hand-thing in a magazine one day & just decided to try it... is it working? Does it make you want to buy a Mazda? Gee, I hope so... if it doesn't, you wanna just hang out & smoke some weed?"
AGASSI: "Hi I'm Andre... I'm bald now - well, not really bald, but just one of those guys that just shaves his head to LOOK bald because it's better than the receding hairline thing for someone who used to have a veritable lion's mane of hair. You like that I know the word 'veritable', huh? Yeah, and you thought I was just a dumb tennis player - well I scored a hot German chick, and a bunch of cool trophies to go above my fireplace - what have YOU done? That's right, uh-huh."
PHOTOG: "OK, Danica, give me 'SEXY'! "
DANICA: "What's that?"P
HOTOG: "Ummm... you know - HOT... SEDUCTIVE!"
DANICA: "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."
PHOTOG: "Ummm.... ok.... "
DANICA: "I can stand like this if you want."
PHOTOG: "Ummm, ok, yeah, that's good."
DANICA: "Is that sexy?"
PHOTOG: "Oh, yeah, definitely that'll work great."
DANICA: "OK, thanks, I have to go do a porn shoot next - thanks for all the tips."
WEST: "OK, so I understand you just had a shoot with Danica Patrick - how did that go?"
PHOTOG: "Ahhh, it was ok."
WEST: "Alrighty then, so I'll just stand right here then, yes?" ***ZING! POW! BLAM!***
PHOTOG: "WTF was that???"
WEST: "That was me, punching you in the face, just like this... ...how'd THAT feel? ***ZING! POW! BLAM!***
PHOTOG: "Well, not too good, actually... I think you bloodied my nose that time."
WEST: "Still got it, don't I? Ha-HAAAA! . ***ZING! BLANG! PHWAMMM!***
PHOTOG: "OK, f*cker, KNOCK THAT OFF!"
WEST: ***ZING! BLAM! KAPLOWEE!***PHOTOG: "F*ck this... I'm outta here."
O'BRIEN: "In the year two thousaaaaaaaand...."
FORD EXEC: "That's not really what we're going for with this sequence."
O'BRIEN: "OK, how about we go with the mastubating bear? You know... could show how EXCITED he is about the car! Heh. Heh. Heh.
FORD EXEC: "Ummm... why don't you just pose by the car in this racing suit for a few minutes & I hand you a check, ok?
STING: "PRIIIIIIIIIuuusss... you don't have to wear that red paint job tonight... PRIIIIIIuuuuss... you don't have to sell your bat'ry to the night..."
TOYOTAGUY: "Sting, we don't really need a jingle, just a pic is fine"
STING: "Wait, lemme try again... how about: 'We-are Hybrids... in-the-material-world/are Hybrids... in-the-material-wooooooorrrrld...', like it?"
TOYOTAGUY: "No, really - it's not necessary."
STING: "A sleep trance, a dream dance... A shaped romance - Prionicity...?"
TOYOTAGUY: Thanks - here's your check.
SCHUMI: "Twelve cylinders in this van, right?"
SHOW PRODUCER: "I don't even know what that means."
SCHUMI: "Well, this is going to be competitive, right? I mean we need to get there faster than every other Gardener, right?
SHOW PRODUCER: "Ummm... I think that's just kind of an 'idiom', as it were.
SCHUMI: "An 'idiom', like a theme, or an 'idiom', like a 'melieu'?
SHOW PRODUCER: "OK, you got me there."
SCHUMI: "Then f*ck it... I'm calling in my neck injury."
08/12/09
08/12/09
08/12/09