project car hell
Welcome to
Project Car Hell, where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! The last time we ventured into
El Infierno Del Coche, we experienced the joy of electrical fires and short vehicle range in the
Arc-Weld Your Soul challenge. That one was a close race, but the electric 911 edged out the electric Spitfire in a 51.5-to-48.5 split. Today we're getting all forward-control on you, with a couple of interesting Econoline projects suggested by
Schoolpsych. The question you need to ask yourself here is: do you want to go low and slow... or high and muddy?
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found on ebay
We've seen a
Double Econoline and even a
stretched Suburban, but most such weld-em-and-pray projects lack sufficient axles to really make a
forceful statement. Not so with this 1984 GMC van, which features four axles, an overstuffed armchair, every marker light in the JC Whitney catalog, and a sauna. Really, a sauna! Thanks to Brent for the tip.
[eBay Motors]
custom van
Yet more proof that
nobody can outdo the Japanese when it comes to wild-ass vehicle modifications comes courtesy of this photo sent to us by reader Nathan. You got your
Dekotoras, and now you got the BatVan! That means it's time for some Melt-Banana, so make the jump and crank up your speakers.
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choose your eternity
In a rare upset, a French car actually
lost a Choose Your Eternity challenge! Not only that, front-wheel-drive triumphed over a rear-engined machine. Yes, the
Fiat 128 Rally beat the Simca 1000GL in our last Project Car Hell! Today we're going to look at a pair of vehicles that do interesting things with the concept of
scale: a tiny German Thunderbird or a huge Seattle Hot Wheels car.
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choose your eternity
A French hydropneumatically-suspended diesel managed to win a photo finish against a V8-powered Malaise Lotus in
our last Choose Your Eternity poll, which means we'll need to have another English Channel Hell Project Battle right soon. But today we need to go to the PCH Tipster Mailbag (which, sorry to say, I haven't been using as much as I should, due to the fact that I still haven't had a chance to crank up the
PCH Tipster T-shirt assembly line) and check out a couple of real humdingers sent in by
Bumblebee. These are machines any sane Jalopnik reader would
dream of owning... yet actual ownership of either one would lead to plenty of wake-up-screaming nightmares!
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custom van
Why, a custom van, of course! And, man, the onion-like layers of conceptual heaviosity involved with this painting; since our commenters are a bunch of
Wittgenstein-quoting theorists, we're sure Brandon Bird's
Signifier and Signified will be food for some serious thought this fine Wednesday morning. Thanks to
Teargas for the tip!
[BrandonBird.com]
junkyard find
Life was tough on swingers back in the Malaise Era- say you needed to go to the next county for that Quaalude-fueled pool party, yet the goddamn price of gas was keeping your LTD Brougham (with the classy opera lights) firmly anchored in the driveway. What to do? Why, get yourself a snazzed-out Pinto wagon with the custom portholes and shag carpeting! And now, having served its purpose for three decades, this Pinto offers up its components that other Pintos (and Bobcats) may live.
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moment of zen
Do you feel it? The strains of
Frampton Comes Alive, the scent of Acapulco Gold, and the sight of a Primo Beer T-shirt? We don't know much about this twin-cab Econoline pickup (known as "Two Faced") but we're hoping it has two engines to go with the two 9' whip CB antennas. We'll dedicate the next spin of "Do You Feel Like We Do" to any reader who can give us more info about this fine machine.
custom van
Once we saw the mighty
Thames Freighter van at Laguna Seca, we
knew: someone, somewhere, had turned a Freighter into a full-on 70s-style custom van. Sure enough, crazy New Zealander Colin Cowie has created
The Sorcerer from his Thames Freighter. We can practically hear the strains of
Frampton Comes Alive from here!
[Van Association of New Zealand]