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Real Life Grand Theft Auto - Portland, Maine Edition
We didn't actually know Portland, Maine had crime or even roads, we always just assumed it was an idyllic beach town where Bostonians drove for long weekends to eat big lobsters. Apparently it's actually Maine's largest city and the location of a seriously impressive crime spree straight out of Grand Theft Auto. Thomas Cassidy, 19, apparently went off the deep end and randomly began burgling and vandalizing and then starting cars on fire. He managed to get through ten cars in a little over two hours before police caught up to him by accident while canvasing for witnesses. More »
offbeat news
Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars
This little ray of sunshine is Stacy Marie Oberley, a 28-year-old stripper who lives in Houston. Normally a delicate flower such as this wouldn't merit scrutiny, but apparently Miss Stacy Marie has been a bad girl. Not only is she on probation for narcotics trafficking, but she has stolen the identity of an autistic woman and used it to buy luxury cars. Dainty. According to police, she used the Social Security number to purchase a Maserati CoupĂ© and some form of 2006 BMW. While police have recovered the Maserati, they have yet to find either the BMW or Miss Oberley, but we're sure they have a couple ideas on where she might be. More »
offbeat news
Granddad Robs Bank, Makes Getaway On Wheelchair
Normal granddads sit on porches in their boxers and yell at little kids to get off their lawn, they don't, as a rule, rob banks in Palo Alto, Calif. Although, this is exactly what happened earlier this week at a Wachovia bank. A man described as between 65 and 70 and bearded rolled into the bank in his electric wheelchair and proceeded to rob the place at gunpoint. He then rolled out the door and got away scot-free. He may have rolled into a wheelchair van for his ultimate getaway, but we like to think gramps managed to succeed in the slowest escape ever. [NBC11]photo credit to StreerodStuff
offbeat news
1959 Corvette Stolen, Be A Crimestopper
The Pederson family may have taken inspiration from the case of the 8-fingered Skyline thief, and have turned to the web to try to recover a stolen 1959 Corvette once owned by their late uncle. After saving his whole life and finally purchasing the red and white 'Vette, the uncle discovered he had cancer and died in late 2007. Only two months later the car was swiped from its Ronkonkoma, NY garage and hasn't been seen since. A VIN search turns up registration in Florida, but you know how accurate those thing can be these days. So, just in case you're in the market for vintage Corvettes (Junkman, we're looking right at you) keep your eyes peeled for a car with the following description: More »
offbeat news
Six Cities Busted For Traffic Camera Scams
Union City, California; Lubbock, Texas; Nashville, Tennessee; Springfield, Missouri; Dallas, Texas and Chattanooga, Tennessee — you're all on notice. We already hate the idea of the omnipresent big brother handing out speeding tickets through the watchful eye of the traffic camera, but when the deck is stacked in the states' favor, it's time to call shenanigans. All six of these cities have been accused and found guilty of excessively short amber cycles on certain traffic camera equipped intersections — a convenient way to pickpocket unsuspecting drivers as they pass though an intersection. More »
offbeat news
Stolen Mustang Returned To Owner After 38 Years Of TLC By Somebody Else
There's a certain unbelievability to this story out of the city of angels. In 1970, Eugene Brakke had his shiny gold '65 Ford Mustang stolen from him. He reported the theft, but nothing came about for another 38 years. Sure he could have used the Lost Car Registry, but that takes two to tango. Little did Brakke know, but the car had been sold through a (crooked) dealer to the father of Judy Smongesky, who gave it to her as a high school graduation present. Judy has held onto and maintained the car all these years, even having two engine rebuilds and a paint job done. It wasn't until she tried to sell the car that the red flags went up. More »
offbeat news
Italian Supercar Forgers Find Fieros Fantastic
One upping the shenanigans of Unique Performance, a group of fine Italian coach builders has been caught by the police after attempting to forge supercars - badly. Seems these upstanding fellows thought slapping some kit car bodies onto the delightful chassis of GM's famed Fiero was a great idea, then the plan was to pass them off as one of Italy's most famous exports. We're not convinced, we're barely even holding in the laughter. The best is the buff mag on the work bench being used for inspiration. The Wall Street Journal article about this story seems to have only gotten the story partly right (typical).More »
offbeat news
Stripper Gets Drunk, Covers With Car Jacking Story - Geo Storm Only Flaw
Brandy Hicks is a young lady of many talents, stripping being one of them, lying to the cops being another. Seems she didn't want the party to end after her shift at Orlando's Dancers Royale on Monday, and danced the night away, with booze. Waking up in the morning she was confronted with a problem, seems the 27-year-old has a father who kept his daughter on a strict curfew, and he would be none too happy his little darlin' had missed it. So she did what something that probably sounded brilliant at the time - lied. More »
news
Great Moments in Stupidity: Kid Mods Car Into Cruiser, Pulls Over Cop
We don't know what kind of car 17-year-old David Leib used to recreate a police cruiser, but the safe bet is on a Crown Vic. We also don't know what the young lad was thinking when he decided to turn on the cherries and attempt his first traffic stop outside of Moline, Illinois. We do know the off duty police deputy he was attempting to pull over found it a little off and dialed the real cops to check things out. Needless to say, things ended with David in cuffs himself. This could have been the dumbest thing this chap had ever done, but if he was enterprising enough to build the replica without his parents putting the smack down, it's a safe bet he was a sneaky little bastard to begin with. More »
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Tomas Delgado Withdraws His Lawsuit, May Still Enter the Embrace of Satan
Remember when we told you how Tomas Delgado was suing the parents of the boy he struck and killed to recoup bodyshop money? Well it seems the Spanish people got a little miffed by what would have to be considered one of the most ill-conceived legal actions in Iberian history. Local outrage has pressured Delgado-the-sleazy D-bag into withdrawing the suit. Hundreds of protesters gathered outside the courthouse and the pending lynch mob convinced Delgado and his lawyer that continued litigation would be a bad idea. The latest coverage also brings to light additional details that make the case both more appalling, and more bizarre. More »
offbeat news
Drunk Drives Lawn Mower in Ill-Fated Booze Run
Sometimes it's so easy to be proud of your fellow statesmen. Let's say you live in Adrian, Michigan, your wife has taken the car, you have run out of wine, and there's a snowstorm raging outside. What would you do? If you were Frank Kozumplik, you would hop on your John Deere lawn mower and drive down the middle of the street to the liquor store to get some more. Police arrested Mr. Kozumplik after catching up to him as he made his way home with four more bottles and a 0.20 BAC. The coppers seized the mower and released Mr. Kozumplik to his home, where he likely finished his bottles and made another attempt on a child's big wheel. [via MLive.com]
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Audi Driver Kills Teen, Sues Dead Youth's Family Over Car Damage
In what can only be called the worst case of AADS (Asshole Audi Driver Syndrome) ever recorded, Tomas Delgado, a Spanish businessman, is suing the family of a boy he killed while speeding in his Audi A8. The accident caused 14,000 Euros of damage to the all-aluminum luxury car, and Delgado is also looking to cover the additional 6,000 Euros in transportation costs he incurred while the Audi was in the shop. He argues that his 17-year-old victim, Enaitz Iriondo, who was wearing dark clothes while cycling at night, caused the damage while he was in the process of having his young life snuffed out by Delgago's hurtling death chariot. Quoting Mr. Delgado—and please restrain your urge to vomit here: "I'm also a victim in all of this, you can't fix the lad's problems, but you can fix mine." His lawyer, Beelzebub, Esq., offered no comment on the case, which will see an expected verdict on January 30 and perhaps witness the Earth open up to swallow Delgado whole. [via The Mail]
offbeat news
SHOGUN! Attempted Murderers Use Appropriately Named Car
If you're going to try and kill someone with an automobile, doing so with a common Astra or a Mondeo is unnecessarily boring. That's why we were so pleased to see that a pair of would-be Scottish killers used the aptly named Mitsubishi SHOGUN (a.k.a. Pajero/Montero). According to reports, a 27-year-old was walking home when the Shogun appeared out of nowhere and attempted to dispatch him with a head-on attack. More »
crime
Car Thief Eaten By Alligator
This horrific story illustrates why you should never try to run from the police and never break into cars. A couple of guys were busting into autos at the Miccosukee Resort and Gaming facility in Florida. When the cops arrived they made a run for it. The lucky one got arrested. The unlucky one was dinner for a 9-foot alligator named "Poncho." So let this be a lesson to any would-be car thieves out there: IF YOU ROB CARS AN ALLIGATOR WILL EAT YOU. WILL EAT YOU DEAD. [AP via WPLG]
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