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Detroit, 7:41 AM
Thu Dec 3
30 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #crimesagainstnature more →

    Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Give it a nice coat of gloss black and throw the wheels and driver into a fire, and it'll be all right.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Okay, it's hideous, absolutely hideous... but let's try to find a glimmer of good news in this pile of shit.


    Once Paris fades from the spotlight and nobody gives a shit about her anymore the damage she has done to this vehicle will have depreciated it to the point where one of us may be able to afford it, strip out the interior (though you may need a Level-A Hazmat suit to do it) and rattle-can it black... if we're lucky we're looking at the winner of the 2020 LeMons National Series presented by Johnny Walker's Jalopnik Cask Strength Breakfast Scotch and the all new GM Worldbeater-amino

     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Well, at least we can't say she's an insensitive, self-absorbed talentless whore thumbing her nose at all the people who are suffering financial meltdowns. Oh. Wait. Pink Christmas Bentley.


    Too bad her funds weren't with Madoff. Then again, Grandpa Hilton has supposedly cut her out of his will.

     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of tmp00 tmp00
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    I knew Paris Hilton would morph into Angelyne eventually, but who knew it would be this soon?
     Reply
    tmp00 was starred tmp00 was unstarred
    Image of bzr bzr
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Well, if you wanted to vandalize it, you can't miss it now.
     Reply
    bzr was starred bzr was unstarred
    Image of tenbeers tenbeers
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Keith moon did this better.
     Reply
    tenbeers was starred tenbeers was unstarred
    Image of Armand Armand
    12/24/08

    @tenbeers: As a tribute to Mr. Moon, someone should throw this car into the swimming pool at a swanky hotel.
     Reply
    Armand was starred Armand was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/24/08

    @Armand Bengle: With Paris in it.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    12/24/08

    @NovaloadMissesPolar: With bulletproof glass and the doors welded shut.
     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    12/24/08

    @something_unique_and_descripti...: and lead plates in the trunk!...Amen.
     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig. ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig.
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    It's like Barbie herself has come to life.


    Except Barbie had *some* semblance of taste.

     Reply
    ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig. was starred ☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig. was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    12/24/08

    @☠Grяrяrяrяrяrяrя. You'll shoot your headlight out with tha...:

    "..It's like Barbie herself has come to life. Except Barbie had *some* semblance of taste..."


    And no visible genitalia.

    This one... well...

     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/24/08

    @DoctorNine: Barbie had a better rack, too.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    12/24/08

    @NovaloadMissesPolar: Yeah, but she was silicone too. So we're really running neck and neck by that count.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Who... who... wh-what kind of... of monster... would... would do that to... to such a nice Volkswagen?


    /subtly wipes away tears


    The... the inhumanity of that... is... she... why... it...


    /more tears


    I'm... I'm not vengeful... but... that's it. Paris Hilton deserves to die.

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Alan Olson Alan Olson
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Do you think she knows what "livery" means? I'd be surprised.
     Reply
    Alan Olson was starred Alan Olson was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    12/24/08

    @Alan Olson: Only as a flavor.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Well, so they painted a gussied up VW in pink. It's been done before:


     Reply
    Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was starred Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Needs one more detail to be P. Hilton authentic: reoccuring big rusty blister outbreaks around the edges (rocker panels). We could call it auto herpes.
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of I-Roll I-Roll
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    The Continental GTs are such a commonly pimped car that this dosen't really phase me. These seem to be one of the top rides on the douchebag celebrity list.
     Reply
    I-Roll was starred I-Roll was unstarred
    Image of Miscellanea Miscellanea
    12/24/08

    @I-Roll: Very true. I see at least 3 Continentals each day on my morning commute...at times right next to each other. Man, that kinda deflates the prestige of ownership. I won't even blame West Coast Customs. If someone wants to pay me gobs of money to paint a Continental GT so it resembles Pepto Bismol then I'd do it. They're the ones forced to drive this thing each day and deal with devaluation of a high end car such as this.
     Reply
    Miscellanea was starred Miscellanea was unstarred
    Image of Boosted Lego Wagon Boosted Lego Wagon
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    Usually when the internets shows me a huge pink monstrosity and Paris Hilton, she's not slipping into it,
     Reply
    Boosted Lego Wagon was starred Boosted Lego Wagon was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    eh, celebrities have been ruining cars for years.......she's just the latest in a long line.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of dearyou dearyou
    12/24/08

    In reply to Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
    her license plate should be DRGN MGT
     Reply
    dearyou was starred dearyou was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    12/24/08

    @dearyou: How long until it's rear ended?
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of tek_nic tek_nic
    12/24/08

    @Van Sarockin: Um... it isn't correct to ask how long. When talking about Paris, the question should be "How frequently is she rear-ended?"


    The answer, of course... is every single moment that she can.

     Reply
    tek_nic was starred tek_nic was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    12/24/08

    @tek_nic: Back up to my bumper...
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    12/24/08

    @dearyou: Draggin' maggot?


    Oh.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
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