crashweek - Jalopnik

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triumph
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
I see the dummy in the Bel Air, then I see the one in the malibu and I cant help but think "what a pussy". Im just waiting for the next set of pictures where the dummy from the '59 gets out to punch the other one in the face a couple times for driving like a moron and destroying his ride.
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High Speed Indeed promoted this comment triumph was starred triumph was unstarred

High Speed Indeed
09/29/09

@triumph: I see the dummy in the Bel Air, then I see the one in the malibu and I cant help but think "what a living human being". Im just waiting for the next set of pictures where the dummy from the '59 gets cut out of the vehicle, zipped up in a body bag, and trucked off to the morgue.

There, fixed that for ya.
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VeeArrrSix
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
A lil post punk theme music
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FP: Your Volvo is awesome! Anyway promoted this comment VeeArrrSix was starred VeeArrrSix was unstarred

dolo54 blows minds and blows engines!
09/29/09

@VeeArrrSix: I inherited that picture cover 45 from my dad, along with 1000 other punk and dub 45s from when he was living in England and Jamaica in the 70s. I listen to them more often than my own record collection these days.
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VeeArrrSix
09/29/09

@dolo54 blows minds and blows engines!: I would drive 500 miles to paw through them.
Oh yeah, rip them to .mp3 before the ex girlfriend jacks them.
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Flathead Smith
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
I think that guy it picture seven would be okay. Sure his legs are folded up like a frog on a lily pad, but he looks pretty comfortable.
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85cieraholiday
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
I think the best way to serve justice would be to take the guy running the IIHS (who must also be around 50 yrs old) and smash him into a 2009 Malibu @ 45 mph.
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Flathead Smith Prefers the Days of Danger approved this comment 85cieraholiday was starred 85cieraholiday was unstarred

Flathead Smith
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report

I propose that to get an auto license one must be able to maintain a minimum track lap time on a figure eight dirt track with approximately 40 other like minded contestants for thirty minutes. Licenses are issued to the ones still under power at the end. The whole licensing operation is paid by ticket sales to view the event from picket fences lining the track.
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Edited by Flathead Smith at 09/28/09 4:52 PM Flathead Smith was starred Flathead Smith was unstarred

mechimike
09/29/09

@Flathead Smith Prefers the Days of Danger: Is that an LTD wagon? man, I just saw one of those on Craigslist near me for $900. They are rare- can't believe they're smashing it up!

By the way, excellent idea. Driver's ED ought to be held on a road course, not a parking lot!
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SpudMills
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
Please stop. Smashing the car that sported the best ass in the world is just sick.
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Ben Wojdyla promoted this comment SpudMills was starred SpudMills was unstarred

Ben Wojdyla
09/28/09

@SpudMills: yeah, I can't help but be reminded of my cuff links when looking at the above crash image.
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Edited by Ben Wojdyla at 09/28/09 4:48 PM Ben Wojdyla was starred Ben Wojdyla was unstarred

SpudMills
09/28/09

@Ben Wojdyla: I wanted to buy those, until I realized I'd never use them.
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MushyHeirloom
09/29/09

@Ben Wojdyla: Just gonna say, Ben, you're the man.
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mechimike
09/29/09

@Ben Wojdyla: You sure those aren't brass knuckles?
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dmdukejr
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
Am I the only one to look at, for example, the vent-wing window frame on the '59 and be saddened by the fact that it survived for 50 years only to be destroyed in a gaudy PR-driven science experiment? I'm all for progress, and I know it's just an old car, but I can't help but get a little sentimental over this kind of thing.
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TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah promoted this comment dmdukejr was starred dmdukejr was unstarred

UGAdawg
09/28/09

@dmdukejr: I actually looked at it as a celebration of how far we've come in auto safety. As much as I love a classic car, those things are death traps. What would be awesome is if they designed one point for point and incorporated all the safety features of today while incorporating the high style of yesteryear.
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skitter promoted this comment UGAdawg was starred UGAdawg was unstarred

Joe Valasek
09/28/09

@dmdukejr: I know the way you feel

It's kind of like finding a live dinosaur that was long thought to be extinct, and then shooting it because you wanted to perform an autopsy.
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TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah promoted this comment Joe Valasek was starred Joe Valasek was unstarred

skitter
09/28/09

@UGAdawg: Initially, I enjoyed the video for the same reasons you did. But I have come to realize that it is truly important: This is what must be brought out for the people suffering under the illusion that older, 'heavier' cars are safer.
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Str8stroke
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
Thought when they pulled them apart, they might find a Pontiac!
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Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets: I miss Deartháir II
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
I thought crash week was great. My neighbor however took it literally. He ran into my car last Saturday ripping off the bumper.. it spends crash week in the body shop and I get to pick up tonight. Irony or just a coincidental bummer?
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Edited by Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets: I miss Deartháir II at 09/28/09 4:18 PM

Joe Valasek
09/28/09

@Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets:
Depends on what you drive.

It could be an Iron-y Continental Bumper...

(Shifty eyes looking for the pun-police...)
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Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets promoted this comment Joe Valasek was starred Joe Valasek was unstarred

VeeArrrSix
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
I was just really really happy that there were no Dave Matthews references.

That is all.
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Number_Six promoted this comment VeeArrrSix was starred VeeArrrSix was unstarred

Number_Six
09/28/09

@VeeArrrSix: What's a Dave Matthews?
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VeeArrrSix
09/28/09

@Number_Six: If you have to ask... you can't afford it.
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TimTim
09/28/09

In reply to Jalopnik Crash Week: Post-Accident Report
Crash Week was fun... you guys showed us some great video and images. Hopefully we can all take away from it some valuable lessons.

Personally, though, Crash Week has put a certain someone's credibility in jeopardy... we were promised booth professionals and that promise has not yet been made good. Your slight of hand, your misdirection, it didn't go unnoticed. We're still waiting.
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TimTim
09/28/09

@TimTim:
And no, stumpy doesn't count.
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TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
09/28/09

In reply to They're The World's Most Expensive Cars- Let's SMASH 'EM UP!
Like the crash test dummies of today, only classier.
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☠Grяrяrяrяrя, portrait of a chickenwolfmoosepig.
09/28/09

In reply to They're The World's Most Expensive Cars- Let's SMASH 'EM UP!
And so now we all know where the big three got their quality standards for their malaise era cars.

(And yes, the little pull-cords were indeed good for whipping your sister. So was that orange hot-wheels track).
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coupeZ600 promoted this comment

coupeZ600
09/27/09

In reply to They're The World's Most Expensive Cars- Let's SMASH 'EM UP!
I was sitting here at the bar, and when I saw this and was waiting for the main page to finish loading, I asked some friends if they remembered the Kenner SSP Smash-Em-Up Derby cars, and when they gave me a kinda' weird look, I said,
"Remember back when you were a kid, and it had that rip-cord thing that would get that wheel in the middle spinning so fast it would burn you?"
"Oh Yeah, I remember!! And you could just yank on it, and put the wheel on your friend and burn him!"
"And the pull-cord was great for whipping your sister!"
They were trying to remember the song, and were getting pretty close, but when this page finally loaded and I clicked on Murillee's vid, they all sang the song perfectly and loudly, like it was some Irish-Pub-Drinking-Song with one guy finishing the dialogue right to the"....'cheer" at the end!
Murilee, you made these guys day! Now they're talking about that little helicopter thing on the wire that flew in little circles on the top of the table........
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Edited by coupeZ600 at 09/27/09 6:09 PM coupeZ600 was starred coupeZ600 was unstarred

AlienProbe
09/27/09

@coupeZ600: Priceless! Wish I was there.
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coupeZ600 promoted this comment AlienProbe was starred AlienProbe was unstarred

TAInvestor
09/27/09

@coupeZ600: Do you bring your laptop to a bar or do you have a bar at your house? Either way I find it rather badass
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coupeZ600 promoted this comment TAInvestor was starred TAInvestor was unstarred

Froggmann
09/28/09

@coupeZ600: I can't relate to you how many shades of awesome that story was.
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Franzouse
09/27/09

In reply to They're The World's Most Expensive Cars- Let's SMASH 'EM UP!
Now I know what was missing from my childhood.
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