Jalopnik: Cows

Detroit Auto Show: Slow-Moving Steer Steal the Show From the 2009 Dodge Ram 1500

Ray Wert — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 13:08:10 EST

As we told you earlier — the point of the Chrysler press conference was the unveil of the new 2009 Dodge Ram 1500. But the reason everyone was really outside on a blustery n' cold overcast morning in Detroit was Dodge's running of the cows down Washington Ave. outside of Cobo Hall. Yes, we were there and yes, we caught it on tape and here it is for you to show — without all of the trick truck action. Why? Because for ~~Jason Vines~~ Chrysler, sometimes the sizzle is the steak.

Detroit Auto Show: Mooo, Cow!

Ray Wert — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 10:49:58 EST

Despite our reveal a few days back — Dodge's now ready to officially reveal the new 2009 Dodge Ram 1500 in a few minutes and we're here live. As we've told you before, the new Ram will be revealed in a few moments amid a stampede of rampaging Texas longhorn steer — as seen above in their holding pen on Congress down the street from Cobo. And by stampede we mean it'll probably be the 125 of them docilely meandering up Congress Ave, around the corner and up toward the press risers set up here in front of the hall. But — think of how much fun it'd be if a few of them went a bit astray? And did we mention the press risers are bright red? Oh, the potential humanity. In the meantime we're going to listen to CEO Bob "The Builder" Nardelli — we wonder if we'll see him and Jim Press give each other a bit of a hug. We hear some think they won't.

Dodge To Ride Bulls Into Detroit Auto Show For 2009 Ram Reveal

tingwall — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 14:00:00 EST

Chrysler makes a champion effort every January to win the Battle of the Unveils at the Detroit Auto Show. In past years we've seen glass-smashing, journalist tar-and-feathering and sending cryptic messages via waterfall to name just a few. And while we're pretty sure Chrysler's ~~winning~~ dominating with the most Over-The-Top Unveil points (but what about the cars?), they aren't about to stop for the unveiling of the new Ram. Up until this point it's all been humans and inanimate objects. So what's next? Animals! Cows, to be precise.

The horned brand from the automaker traded more times than a 40-year-old linebacker is apparently seeking approval from the City of Detroit to run a herd of cattle down Jefferson Avenue as part of the 2009 Dodge Ram introduction. One person familiar with the plan said it could look like John Wayne's "Red River." Sure it might look cool, but it will probably smell pretty uncool too — either way, we'll be on hand to witness the ~~mayhem~~ PRgasm. [Freep via Winding Road]

Holy Cow! Flying Cow Crushes Minivan

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 10:30:00 EST

It's been a while since we've taken a physics course, so we can't be sure what the total force of 600 pounds of live beef falling 200 feet is, but we're fairly certain that we don't want it falling on us. A Spokane, Washington couple had this exact experience while driving their minivan near the popular Lake Chelan tourist area yesterday. Apparently, the cow had wandered away from home (possibly distraught) a few days earlier and made it five miles before the jump. The vehicle's passengers weren't injured, but the cow had to be euthanized. Dinner that night in the Chelan County Sheriff's Department mess was somber but delicious. [Reuters]

Never mind cars, the biggest threat to the ...

Ray Wert — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 09:35:00 EDT

Never mind cars, the biggest threat to the environment is ... ~~bears~~ cows! [Top Gear]