Today, I became aware of the Suzuki Boosterjet, Suzuki’s name for its line of small, direct-injection turbocharged gasoline engines, first a 1.4 liter last year and now a 1.0. Unquestionably, it’s a wonderful name. But is it the best?
Help me out here, pals. While I love my co-workers here on the USS Jalopnuts, it has come to my attention that at least two of my co-workers are drooling simpletons who can’t wrap their puny, moist, palpitating brains around the idea that the front-mid engine layout is a thing. They’re idiots, right?
A couple summers ago on a road trip through California, I came across an intersection that had a street with my last name, and also gave me an empire. Because I have an insatiable appetite for dumb coincidences, I got a photo of me standing next to the sign. With this new website Crossing.us, I can now find every…
Because laws are written by people and people are oftentimes strange, it’s of no surprise that the laws themselves can be weird. Especially automotive law. Holy shit do some of them make no sense!
Our cars are our metal babies. We pour so much time, effort and love into them to make them run smoothly. We spend sleepless nights fixing them up. We become well-acquainted with sunrises.
Well all know that automotive awards are bullshit, and the newest list to make the rounds is the Vehicle Satisfaction Awards. Some of the winners are predictable while other are surprising, but it does raise an interesting question, what car gave you the most satisfaction?
A set of wheels can make or break a car’s looks. The wheels actually take up a pretty decent percentage of a car’s side profile, especially if they are big and the car is sleek. Which is why it’s extremely important to make sure they look good. How do we feel about these?
“Yeah!” you think one day. “I’ll do it myself! I’ll replace the whole front end! Then I’ll drop in a new engine. And then get to the bottom of that electrical gremlin that’s been triggering my windshield wipers on odd-numbered days.”
Having your car die on you is a pretty major inconvenience. Having it die in a place where it’s nightmarishly difficult to pull over or fix it is even worse. Quite a few of you have had this happen. I’m so sorry.
For the record, I’m not talking about funny Blipshift stuff or whatever. I’m talking a T-shirt with a Lamborghini splashed across the chest. A polo with a Ferrari’s prancing horse climbing up its sleeve. How acceptable is it to wear something like that?
We put a lot of love and good faith in our cars, but sometimes they can’t help but shit out on us. It’s easiest if that happens at home or near a shop, but then there are always those other times where help and resources are far away.
Used cars can always be fun because you never know what went on in the car before it ended up on your driveway. Most of the time it was nothing. Nothing. But then there are the other times.
Unless you’re buying new, used cars can come with colorful histories. Sure, the seller can clean them up as much as possible before taking the photos to send to you, but sometimes the past can’t be erased.
Sure, having a car can be better than walking or taking your city’s woefully inept public transit system. But that doesn’t feel like the case when you own a car that inspires nothing but hatred and animosity.
Look, the simple fact of the matter is that life doesn’t always work in ways that we want it to. Unforeseen things happen and we just have to deal with them.
Unless you are The One True God Nicolas Cage, you have no way of telling what the future holds. This includes future car ownership. Many of you people have ended up with truly perplexing vehicles and have wonderful stories to go with them.
Sometimes when I go car hunting for someone, I’ll forget to put a budget cap on the search and I’ll see all the really expensive cars in a certain area. It’s fun looking at listings for cars that likely cost more than your house, so what’s the most expensive ride near you?
Cars are kind of like jobs in that we all have an ideal car that we’d like to own but we don’t always get them. This just goes to show the unpredictability of car ownership and, uh, life in general.
It’s strange how one bad experience in one car can follow us around for the rest of our lives. Like a bad smell. Or a shitty phantom.
Some cars fulfill their intended purpose very well. The Toyota Camry does an excellent job being a reliable sedan, just as the McLaren 720S is outstanding at tearing your face off with speed and technology. But so many other cars have fallen flat because they could have been so much better.