Political statements weren't exactly the goal here, but this crusty-looking Cougar lovingly painted in Old Glory, sitting in the front yard of a semi-abandoned house certainly is a study in contrasts. [SideSalad.net]

See the rest of our Jalopnik Auto Flag-Elation here and check out our pre-Fourth Jalopnik Automotive Amerigasm here.

This car definitely runs and drives, but with gas prices closing in on five bucks there's no telling how much longer it will be possible for its owner to quench the thirst of its 351, 400, or 460.


Now that's class! A Cougar emblem in the little opera window! See, the Malaise Era wasn't entirely about diminished expectations- you could get down and funky with that special someone in the luxurious vinyl comfort of your Cougar's back seat, while the same activities in a cramped 60s Cougar would be more like a game of Twister inside a packing crate. Don't forget the Acapulco Gold and Foghat on the 8-track!


Sadly, those mean ol' bean counters at FoMoCo decreed that the super-cool sequential turn signals would be axed for this generation of Cougars, but the full-width taillights were partial compensation.

Selected Responses From The New Cougar Forums

"You do know that if you get in an accident, all that stuff is going to kill you, right?"

"What in the jihad??? What in earth brought you to think all those pc speakers would be so much better than just spending the money on a good car audio head unit. What do the girls say when you ride by blasting the windows startup sound?"

"Not sure if anyone posted this already but that ****'s gonna get stolen. WTF were you thinking, not just because it what it is, but because there is no harness and it is in plain view."

"The problem isn't the SOUND quality... the problem is that there are computer speakers (LOTS of Computer Speakers) filling the entire back seat! LOL

"That neon in the trunk was hilarious to me beacause it was bridged across both seats, so if you were to fold down one it would break. Then again you cant fold down your seats because there is a logitec demo in the back seat!"

Cougar Owner Responds

hey noggs you strike me as one of those Madison Democrat pplz but I'll ask anyway, PM me where you live so I can have a witness stop by and confirm that the speakers sound awesome.

Yes I do, just cropped it out. They're mounted on the dash. Didn't you think it odd that 5.1 speaker sets each had only 4 speakers back there? Guess where the other 2 are

Also, the neon lights are hidden (except in the back temporarily). I made sure that from sitting anywhere in the car, you can't see any part of the blue bar at all. You also can't see the exterior green ones without laying on the ground. I just took the shot of it with the camera cuz it wasn't catching the glow alone and to show where it was. Didn't you notice that the camera angle was from like a foot off the ground?

Btw if I get a stereo installed with an Aux in, I can use the door speakers at the same time. But seriously, you all own cougars, as if being 3 feet below your ears, nearer to the engine, with the insane amount of road noise you get makes them sound like anything. I can't stand them and it's not worth putting really expensive ones in that will sound better when they're in a horrible place to begin with.

That's just a small sampling of what has to be the longest 7G Cougar related thread in history. (h/t Braff) [New Cougar Forums]

This Cougar lives in the East End, not far from the 1950 Pontiac Chieftan, and it seems to get driven regularly.


The 210-horse 302 was the standard Cougar powerplant for '68, but you could get it with a 390 or even a 335-horse 428. Judging by the lack of badging on this car, we can assume it's probably a 302 machine.


It's a little bit battered, but it looks to be in good original condition and still getting its owner around in old-school Mercury style.

Imagine if the Revolting Cocks had become Mercury's official spokesband! Why, they'd have released the Beers, Steers, and Queers Edition Mercury Mountaineer by now, propelling Mercury to sales figures previously thought impossible!

By 1973, the Mustang and Cougar had become the Fat Elvis version of their former selves. The '73 Cougar weighed in at 3396 pounds, nearly 400 pounds more than the '67 model.


But, like Fat Elvis, they still had some style. Vegas style, sure, but that counts too! The standard engine for the '73 Cougar was a 168-horse 351 Cleveland. However, a 254-horsepower Cobra Jet 351C was available, as was a 4-speed manual transmission.


Did any other car have rear bodywork quite like this?


This car could use some paint, but it's definitely a number of notches above beater status.


Now that's a Mercury!


Compare this Mercury's headlight area to that of the '71 Monterey we saw here a while back. It's true that Mercury had to make do with rebadged Fords, but the designers did what they could to make them stand out from their blue oval brethren.


The rear view looks almost Ranchero-esque.


Cougars had the super-cool sequential turn-signals, which gave a sort of Vegas neon-style appearance to the car when turning. Of course, the system relied on a motor-driven control device that usually went bad within a couple years, but it was great that they did such a thing in the pre-digital-controller era.

Witness uses floor jack to free man trapped by car [Fond du Lac Reporter]

Related:
Don't Be A Dummy: Woman Run Over By Own Car [Internal]

Moon roof! Glove-soft vinyl upholstery! Clustered gauges! Mountain lion stalking you! No wonder Farrah drove (or at least shilled for) the '75 Cougar. And for you fans of engines that take two cubes to make less than a single horsepower, the optional 460 wheezed out a spectacularly miserable 216 horses. – Murilee Martin

Related:
Forgotten Mercury Of The Day: 1977 Cougar [internal]

You hear a lot of whining from Mustang aficionados about the terrible things that Ford did to the Mustang starting in '74. But what about the Mustang's long-suffering sibling, the Cougar? A hastily rebadged Torino for '74 through '76, then a hastily rebadged Thunderbird for the '77-'79 models, the Cougar's incoherent branding and third-fiddle status became a cherished Ford tradition lasting into the 21st century. Still, the '77 Cougar has a certain malaise-era decadence about it; it's easy to picture Debbie Harry rolling in the back of one, stubbing out her smokes on the Simu-Leather upholstery and cursing drunkenly at the driver. – Murilee Martin

1977 Mercury Cougar [murrayco.com]

Related:
Heating Up The Mercury: Brand Spokeswoman Jill Wagner Looking Hot And Bothered On the Small Screen In 'Blade' [internal]

One of the cooler looking alt-vehicle modes for a Decepticon in the new Transformers movie is a baddie by the name of Bonecrusher. Boney's vehicular disguise is a Buffalo H mine-protection vehicle, designed by the folks over at Force Protection, Inc. to sift through the dirt and rubble to find little explosive devices and let them detonate safely on the bad-mutha-trucka's super-reinforced skin. Obviously, these things are selling like hotcakes to the US Armed Forces, but the company also has a contract with the Army for a smaller version of the vehicle designed for troop transport — it's called the "Cougar." The Cougar is is a family of mid-sized mine-protected vehicles coming in either a 4X4 or 6X6 layout. The tank-sans-turret can be configured for a wide range of tasks including troop transport (up to 12 in the 6X6), command and control, mover of artillery, recovery and even ambulance duty. So not only is this one tough HumVee cruncher, a company here in my home state o' Michigan, Spartan Chassis Inc. said today it's been awarded a $23.7 million contract to supply parts to build this hunk-a, hunk-a metal and armor. No word yet on which company's been awarded the highly prized contract for turning it into a walking and talking transforming robot — but we're hopeful it happens soon. Gallery below of both the Buffalo, the vehicular mode for Bonecrusher, as well as the Cougar. – Ray Wert

Spartan Chassis to build parts for Cougar military vehicles [Detroit News]

Related:
When A HummVee Just Won't Cut It: The Armet Gurkha [internal]

If the Rolls-Royce-grille-on-a-vw-beetle is your kind of meme, you may just want to run out and get an '88 or '89 Thunderbird or Cougar. Those are the donor vehicles for the Easy Rod, a kit whose result is a jackalopian beast that's part early-50s Merc, part late-80s FoMoCo, and altogether unsettling to look at. At current rates of depreciation, you can build one of these oddball canisters for around $1.97, give or take. Just don't expect to retire on a Barrett-Jackson score in ten years. Or ever. [Thanks to Vintage Racer for the tip.] – Mike Spinelli

[EasyRods]

Related:
Nooooooooo! Mustang Cobra Mashup [internal]