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68Fastback
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
I spent a few years as a member of LLNL's Accident Response Group. Our job was to access the "package" in the event of a weapons transportation accident. Won't get into details as to how this is accomplished, let it suffice to say that you don't want to mess with one of these trucks.
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HoonThatFerrari
09/09/09

@68Fastback: Massive firepower involved from the sidelines??? Izzat whatyer tryin' to say?
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MushyHeirloom
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
parts of the world not known for running their trains on time

Last I knew, Britain had The Bomb.

...okay, so the trains sometimes run on time...
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pointlessdude
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
I remember reading a article on this in the mid 80's in Parade magazine or something like that.. back then the trucks were more of an aqua blue/greeny color, if I remember right the drivers were armed. They were touting quite an impressive safety record.

Along the lines of the Big Lot truck.. I would go with a Walmart or a Schnider trucking orange run.. totally anonymous as long as the load did not get screwed up and somebody dropped a hot trailer off at the wrong loading dock.
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SeanKHotay
09/10/09

@pointlessdude: They'd probably still find a way to discount it further and have an explosive sale bargain extravaganza!
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Peugeot--Making Bicycles Once Again
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
And here I was thinking the DoE would use something like this..
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
09/09/09

@Peugeot--Still Seeking a Star: I had that truck. Thanks for the memories.
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econobiker
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
Here is the link to the "road test" on the trucks:

[www.sandia.gov]

This article has been around for years- I found it around 2004.

"To the untrained eye the new tractor is indistinguishable from a commercial 18-wheeler."

Yeah except that the trucks are the cleanest 377 Petes you will ever see, lack DOT #'s, and have absolutely no signage whatsover except for US Gov't license plates. Too clean, too stealth.

At least put a couple of stainless steel trucker girl silhouettes on the rear trailer mudflaps...
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FP: Your Volvo is awesome! Anyway promoted this comment Edited by econobiker at 09/09/09 11:27 AM econobiker was starred econobiker was unstarred

MushyHeirloom
09/09/09

@econobiker: Oh, yeah, if they really wanted stealth they'd paint 'em up like a fake regional trucking company - a different one for each area so that nobody actually caught on, and it would solve the licensing issues of a nationwide chain.. "The plates look funny, and I've never heard of that company. Oh, they're based in Fort Smith, AR. That'd be why."
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HoonThatFerrari
09/09/09

@econobiker: ***...and have absolutely no signage whatsover except for US Gov't license plates***

What??? You mean they don't have stickers on the back of the box, saying: "Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-xxx-xxxx???"
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Edited by HoonThatFerrari at 09/09/09 10:21 PM HoonThatFerrari was starred HoonThatFerrari was unstarred

econobiker
09/15/09

@HoonThatFerrari: I think it is unstated phrasing : "Don't like my driving? Talk to the business end of 7.62mm automatic weapon and a Federal arrest warrant."
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comedian
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
First delivery of tritium to scientific facility -- Armed guards, transporter, convoy, plus media notification and review leading to a spot on local news.

Second delivery - Homeless looking guy driving a tired F150. Had to lift cap up a few inches to get enough clearance so container could be taken out of bed of pickup.
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FP: Your Volvo is awesome! Anyway promoted this comment comedian was starred comedian was unstarred

Flathead Smith
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
Way to go Friends of the Earth putting secrets like this on the internet for all to see. I’m just thankful terrorist don’t use the internet for research....I don't think they do....do they?
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High Speed Indeed
09/09/09

@Flathead Smith: Are you joking? I'm sure the terrorists have their preferred online resources. Any terrorist sourcing terrorism secrets from Jalopnik is behind the curve.
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brickyard
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes

Now that their cover is blown the DOE's decided to go for a more "in your face" paint scheme.
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Jeb_Hoge
09/09/09

@brickyard: Bad. Ass.
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Vintage Racer - with V-12 goodness
09/09/09

@brickyard:
COTD!
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brickyard
09/09/09

@brickyard: Thank you gentlemen. Much appreciated.
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Peter Orosz
09/09/09

@brickyard: Absolutely brilliant. Although I can’t seem to find the radiation safety sign.
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High Speed Indeed
09/09/09

@brickyard: No fate but what you make.
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brickyard
09/09/09

@High Speed Indeed: What if it's the fate of the guy next to you to be a suicide bomber?
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engineerd
09/09/09

@brickyard: I should click your heart again, but they only give me one.
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jbownsabmw- Koopas Beware
09/09/09

@brickyard: A little late on this bandwagon, but I'm throwing in my COTD nom and hearty click as well.
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High Speed Indeed
09/09/09

@brickyard: I think that must be in a different movie.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
09/09/09

@brickyard: That's wild.
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HoonThatFerrari
09/10/09

@brickyard: Nice... I missed this the first time, but just now saw it. BRILLIANT!
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Tanshanomi
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
I know some of the guys who build these, even though technically I'm not supposed to know what they do. Trust me, there's a lot more to these than a padlock and some Owens-Corning fiberglass. These employ some awesome, hardcore technology. That I will gladly testify to knowing nothing about.
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stoke
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
Did you know that more nuclear material is transported on Interstate 65 than any other U.S. highway? And that the Norfolk Southern line carries more nuclear material than any other train line?

And that these two heavily trafficked nuclear lines intersect in Lafayette, Indiana?

If you've ever been to Lafayette, you won't be surprised.
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acarr260
09/09/09

@stoke has a JDM front wing: Home to the Boilermakers... at least it gives them an excuse

/IU grad... Go Hoosiers!
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Deartháir II
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
It's all misdirection. They've actually bought up a massive fleet of beige Chrysler minivans.

Therefore anyone opposed to nuclear proliferation should take it upon themselves to destroy every beige Chrysler minivan they can find. Hell, just to be safe, destroy every Chrysler. You don't want to miss any.

Don't worry, the containers are nice and strong, you won't get any nuclear on you.
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Mobius
09/09/09

@Deartháir II: The Return: I'm pretty sure the nukes are for the destruction of said Chryslers.

Although conventional ordnance would do, who knows what monsters Sebrings would mutate into under the effect of all that radiation?
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theart
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
These are just decoys. The real nukes are transported in the trunks of beige Camries.
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Alfisted
09/09/09

@theart: not 1964 Malibus?
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theart
09/09/09

@Alfisted: They only use those for moving aliens.
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Russter
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
When I was stationed at a nuclear missile base in Missouri, they used to run convoys from the missile site to the base and in the truck would be a warhead. Standard operating procedure dictated that the convoy be led by a Federal Marshall, 2 armored assault vehicles, the truck carrying said warhead, 2 more armored assault vehicles, a helicopter, and an armored assault would follow 2 miles back. On the open highway the minimum speed was 80 mph (at that time the national speed limit was 55) and in town was 45. If the vehicles slowed below 45, the security folks had to display weapons. A Highway Patrolman decided to pull over the chase vehicle one day, the guys in the chopper saw this and radioed the Marshall. The Marshall cut a quick u-turn, arrived on the scene and promptly handcuffed the Highway Patrolman to the outside of his vehicle, got in his car and left. He then proceeded to radio HP headquarters and told them to remind the patrolmen to never fuck with a federal convoy again. It was classic. The patrolman was suspended, and the driver of the chase vehicle was discharged.
They take that stuff pretty serious!
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servoA4
09/09/09

@Russter:
Can I nominate Russter for COTD? Excellent anecdote.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
09/09/09

@Russter: Great story.
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Russter
09/09/09

@leavethegun-takethecannoli: Then there is the story about the warhead that fell out of the truck at the intersection of Hwy 65 and Hwy 50 in Sedalia Mo. or the fanatical preacher that tried to jackhammer through the lid of a missile silo where the missile comes out, but I will save them for another time.
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Edited by Russter at 09/09/09 10:43 AM Russter was starred Russter was unstarred

Alfisted
09/09/09

@Russter: A fanatical preacher in Central MO? Surely you jest.
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Jeb_Hoge
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
Noticed that it's "Friends of the Earth" who spilled the beans. It's interesting that they'd rather tell everyone where the safely contained radioactive material is (or was...) than KEEP THEIR BIG MOUTHS SHUT and not give away what might be considered a bit of a secret. Although by now you can be sure the DOE has started coming up with an alternative. Green trucks, maybe...that'd be ironic.
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jbownsabmw- Koopas Beware
09/09/09

In reply to This Truck Contains Nukes
When they say they have an escort, I picture a troop transporter, minigun suburbans, an attack helicopter just off the highway, and a C130 gunship over head. I know this is probably not true, but I trust that there is no way we would let someone steal a nuke out of our back yard.
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