Jalopnik: Commercials

Top Ten Best Car Ads Of The 1990s

Murilee Martin — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:00:00 EDT

As we predicted, the voting in last week's Top Ten Best Car Ads Of The 1980s poll was a bit more competitive than that in the Ricardo Montalban-dominated Top Ten Best Car Ads Of The 1970s. The Black Gold 280ZX made a strong showing, but the Cocaine Factory Duster takes the prize, with 32% of the votes. Now we're moving into the decade of Operation Desert Storm, grunge, and Pets.com, which brings up the question: is it possible to feel truly nostalgic about the decade right before the current one? Make the jump, cast your vote!

10: 1991 Ford Escort GT Have you got a hunger for power? The front-wheel-drive power to go with an incredibly plasticky grille? If so, the '91 Escort GT, with its 127-horse Mazda engine, was the car to drive as you watched gas prices soar during the turmoil of Gulf War I.

9: 1992 Toyota Starlet Apparently all the weirdness that the relentlessly conservative suits at Toyota expunged from their vehicles got forced into their home-market ads, judging by this brain-scrambler for the '92 Starlet. Yes, that's a laugh track.

8: 1994 Honda VTEC engine Why don't we get ads for engines in North America? Honda put together this nerve-rippin' 24 Hours of Le Mans-themed ad for their then-fairly-new VTEC system, and we could listen to that engine wail all day.

7: 1991 Ford Escort RS2000 They were building a much different kind of Escort over there in Yurp back in '91; while the Detroit version was based on the same platform as the Mazda 323, the Yurpean version was all Ford. This UK-market ad uses the "Rocky" theme song, for reasons that may or may not have made sense to the marketers at the time.

6: Volkswagen Bus Syncro VW decided to go with the Worst Song Ever — peppered with incomprehensible Afrikaans terminology — to pitch their hot-rod, Audi-powered, four-wheel-drive Transporter to the South African market. Miscreants attempting to escape down the track in a handcar? The VW Bus Syncro will catch up!

5: 1990 Isuzu Pickup By 1990, everyone knew that the Toyota pickup would outlast the cockroaches when the apocalypse started a-comin' down, but Isuzu figured they were poised to brush Toyota aside with their truck. Hmmm... when's the last time you saw a Third World warlord's troops riding through the desert in the bed of an Isuzu?

4: 1991 Oldsmobile Silhouette What's the best way to sell a minivan that looks like a Dustbuster vacuum cleaner? GM figured it would be logical to get the daughter of world-renowned poet Leonard Nimoy to make the pitch. Yes, the future will be all about 5-foot-deep dashboards!

3: 1990 Plymouth Acclaim OK, no Ike jokes here — this is Tina Turner shilling for the memorably forgettable '90 Plymouth Acclaim, which featured all the diamond-tucked fake velour that could be glued into a K Car. Like Tina, the Acclaim was built for comfort.

2: 1990 Geo Tracker Mullets were still mainstream in 1990, judging from this ad for the rebadged Suzuki Sidekick. Note the fascinating variety of sketchy-looking stalker types drawn to the Tracker's profile, including a couple that literally emerge from the depths of the sea.

1: 1992 Lada Samara After the collapse of the Soviet Union, Lada suddenly needed to play the capitalist game and advertise its products. What better way than to use the Rappin' Red Army to hawk the Samara? Give 'em clarinets and guitars instead of AKs!

Top Ten Best Car Ads Of The 1980s

Murilee Martin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:00:00 EDT

In hindsight, we needn't have bothered with a poll in yesterday's Top Ten Best Car Ads Of The 1970s, because Ricardo Montalban's Corinthian Leather tour de force obliterated the other nine competitors with a 56% share of the total vote (the Top Ten Best Car Ads Of The 1960s vote was much closer, with the winner taking a mere 18% of the total). Now we're moving up to the decade of leg warmers, Iran-Contra, and electronic fuel injection: the 1980s! The Berlin Wall came down, the incidence of herpes went up, and we're celebrating all of it with today's choices. The 80s (which we like to refer to as the Turbo Mullet Era) produced some incredible car commercials; we're betting you'll have a harder time choosing your favorite than you did yesterday. Make the jump to see what we mean!

10: 1981 De Lorean DMC-12 Before the DMC-12 became a joke, thanks largely to a starring role in a trio of megahit movies, the stainless-steel-bodied, Northern Ireland-built car was considered a revolutionary machine. Sure, maybe John Z. shouldn't have attempted a white-powder route to financial solvency, and perhaps the horrific build quality of the DMC-12 was a black eye... but watch this ad and try to feel the optimism!

9: 1980 Pontiac Turbo Trans Am Cool as the concept was, installing a Quadrajet-fed turbocharger on the fragile Pontiac 301 V8 didn't work so well in practice. However, the Turbo Trans Am ushered in the Turbo Mullet Era, and for that we should be grateful.

8: Renault 5 Disco was still relevant in the early part of the 80s, but the sexy boiler suits and weird, brightly-colored graphics we generally associate with the later part of the decade can be seen in this UK-market ad for the car we North Americans knew as the Renault Le Car.

7: 1986 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z There's some speculation that Rob Halford is the guy flying the helicopter in this super-macho ad for perhaps one of the most 80s cars ever built. We can't be sure whether that's Rob, but we are sure that even the Camaro's target demographic might have detected a spark of manly lust between the protagonists of this little below-the-55-speed-limit drama.

6: 1984 Chrysler Laser Turbo When Darth Vader tells you it's time to buy a turbocharged Chrysler K car, you listen! Yes, Chrysler hired James Earl Jones himself to do the voiceover on this ad, then turned their low-bidder special-effects crew loose on some of the cheesiest whiz-bang graphics imaginable.

5: 1981 Datsuns This ad is just plain scary. A man who appears to be a UFO cult leader brings five of his prettiest acolytes into a Datsun dealership, where he purchases a 210, a 310, a 510, an 810, and a 280ZX. Don't stare into their eyes, lest you wake up getting probed by the Greys.

4: 1988 Porsche 944 Turbo The word Turbo was pure magic back in the 80s, but many turbocharged cars of the era didn't have the power to match the hype. Not so with the Porsche 944 Turbo, which put up performance numbers that still look pretty good today.

3: Citroën CX Grace Jones drives a Citroën CX out of her own head, yells at the camera, then turns around and drives back into her head. We cannot explain why, but we totally want a Citroën now.

2: 1985 Plymouth Duster This is the legendary "Cocaine Factory" Duster ad, broadcast during the first-ever MTV Music Awards. While the Duster name died with a whimper, this ad will live on forever as a showcase of every single 80s cliche ever put on film.

1: 1980 Datsun 280ZX 10th Anniversary Edition We've had some tough contenders for the prize of Best 80s Car Commercial, but do they have what it takes to go toe-to-toe with the Black Gold 280ZX Guy? The Disco Era may well have reached its peak in 1980, and the sheer Quaaludes-and-spirochetes awesomeness of Black Gold certainly represents some sort of cultural high-water mark.

Top Ten Best Car Ads Of The 1970s

Murilee Martin — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:20:00 EDT

We saw the 'I like it going up and down' Mini run away with the vote in the Top Ten Car Ads Of The 60s poll yesterday, and today we continue the Fourth Of July Celebration Of Vehicular Consumption Series with- you guessed it- the 1970s. The decade of Watergate, the Fall of Saigon, oil embargoes, 5 MPH crash bumpers... but don't forget custom vans, Acapulco Gold, and Foghat, not to mention the Bicentennial Fourth of July celebration! Make the jump to check out the ads and cast your vote.

10: 1976 Triumphs
Caught in the act by your special lady's husband, you have no choice but to leap out the window- wearing only a towel- and run straight to the nearest British Leyland dealership, where a vast assortment of Triumph machines provides a dubious escape hatch. Fortunately for you, the enraged cuckold makes his pursuit in possibly the most unreliable British car ever made: a Triumph Stag!

9: 1971 Plymouth Duster We tend to think that a woman who knows all the specs on a '71 Duster with a 225 Slant Six engine would be absolutely irresistible, but Ethel's mom is worried about her ability to land a man. Check out Ethel's off-road driving prowess!

8: Dodge Valiant Charger You read that right- in Australia, Chrysler sold an A-body Dodge called the Valiant Charger, thus scrambling the brains of every Mopar fan in America with that jarring branding mashup. It made passersby shout "Hey Charger!" which sounds a lot better than "Hey Valiant!"

7: 1978 Ford Granada Ford once ruled the automotive world and apologized to no one, but the Malaise Era led to the spectacle of a fake Benz built in Dearborn and explicitly compared to the costly German machine. While the Granada didn't hold together quite as well as the Mercedes-Benz, we do see them on the street every so often.

6: 1973 Pontiac Grand Am Go ahead- drive your Grand Am straight into a wall! It'll bounce right off! Admire its poise as it scrapes the door handles on the pavement in the slalom, then check out that fine Naugahyde-and-styrene interior. Oh, and don't worry about the Arab oil embargo- get the 400 engine!

5: 1978 Fiat Ritmo North Americans knew the Fiat Ritmo as the Strada, but the key to its marketing on both sides of the Atlantic was the attempt to create the perception that no Italians were involved in the manufacturing process. All robots! Happy, reliable robots, building Fiats that don't fall apart- we swear!

4: 1972 Mercedes-Benz W114 Not only do you get a totally funky soundtrack in this German-market ad for the Mercedes-Benz 280, you get to see the big ol' luxury machines getting completely perpendicular to gravity at high speed on a banked track. Not only that, it parallel parks with ease and will fit all members of a large family of cocaine dealers inside!

3: 1979 Datsun 200SX Anyone who was around in the late 1970s will recognize the voice of the Datsun Announcer Guy right away, and this ad really showcases his awesome, driven skills. The '79 200SX came with such amazing features as a digital clock, four-speaker stereo, and sky roof!

2: 1975 Mercury Cougar XR-7 Just about every red-blooded American male was warm for Farrah's form in 1975, and thus Ms. Fawcett was the logical choice to sell the 20,000-pound, 19-horsepower (sadly, we're not exaggerating those numbers very much) Cougar XR-7. Watch as she drives to a mountain lion-infested beach and shucks her evening gown for a little swim.

1: 1975 Chrysler Cordoba Here it is, the legendary ad that defined the image of an entire decade of overstuffed, overwrought, over-thirsty Detroit vehicles: Ricardo Montalban and the soft Corinthian leather of the Chrysler Cordoba! In Cordoba, you have what you need.

Top Ten Best Car Commercials Of The 1960s

Murilee Martin — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:00:00 EDT

We've been running the Classic Ad Watch series for years now, and we've seen some pretty entertaining car commercials along the way. Since the Fourth of July week is all about the frenzy of consumption that is the American Dream, we'll be taking a look back at some of our most beloved ads from the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. Best of all, we're letting you vote on which is your favorite from each decade! First up is that most beloved decade of the Baby Boomers, who will ensure that the rest of us get to hear "(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay" an average of 5.5 times per day for the rest of our lives: the 1960s! Make the jump to check out and vote on the ads, featuring stars such as Abe Vigoda and Petula Clark hawking the products of Detroit, Wolfsburg, Longbridge, Kenosha, and Göteborg.

10: 1967 Chevrolet Camaro Super Sport
Emerging from an an eruption of foam rocks and dry-ice smoke, the '67 Camaro SS 350 roared out of the cheapest special-effects house in Hollywood and into our hearts, and no convenience-store parking lot would remain burnout-free, ever again! This ad demonstrates the Camaro's often-overlooked off-road capabilities.

9: BMC Mini Deluxe
Car buyers around the British Commonwealth were tired of those damn sliding side windows on the otherwise-luxurious Mini, so BMC decided to spend a few pence on crank-operated glass. In this ad, we learn that bikini'd Aussie babes "like it going up and down." Wink, wink!

8: 1969 Pontiac GTO Judge
The kids back in '69 wanted fast cars and rock-n-roll, and those who weren't schlepping M16s in the Iron Triangle could get both with the GTO Judge. We totally dig the grooo-oovy Paul Revere and the Raiders in American Revolution garb.

7: 1967 AMC Rebel
AMC was all about cheap- wait, we mean economical- and Abe Vigoda was proud to point out the ways in which the '67 Rebel packed standard features not found in such extravagant machines as the Ford Fairlane and Chevy Chevelle. Coil spring rear seat!

6: 1966 Lincoln Continental
This informercial-length epic shows how the longer, wider, taller '66 Lincoln Continental served as a patriotic statement, with Commies pointing out its features. Why, even the People's Commissar feels compelled to mount dual machine-guns in the truck, in case of attack by rival Politburo factions.

5: 1969 Ford Mustang
Not to be outdone by the all-out rockin' in the Judge ad, Ford put together an even more wholesome band for their ad for the special-edition '69 Mustangs. Could you imagine anyone in this ad sucking on a big doobie packed with stems and seeds, or catching scabies in a commune's beanbag chair?

4: 1968 Pontiac GTO
The Goat gets a couple of ads in our Top Ten, because it's impossible not to love the sight of lab-coated scientists bashing the snout of a car with a sledgehammer while their peers howl with bloodlust. Too bad the paint always flaked off those Enduraflex bumpers after a few years.

3: Plymouth Fury
Sideburns! Petula Clark! Purple microdots! We're betting the last ingredient was sadly absent from the set when they filmed this ad, which features the '68 Fury as a musical instrument.

2: Volvo Amazon
Is "luxury" the first word that pops into your head when you think of the Volvo Amazon of the 1960s? Of course! We've got a sexy Amazon driver with a breathy voice and bizarre enunciation 'splaining the whole thing for us... in Swedish.

1: Volkswagen Transporter
The Volkswagen bus of the early 60s was only 6" longer than the Beetle (and powered by the same lawnmower-esque engine), but just watch how it inhales huge stacks of boxes, crowds of impatient German commuters, and painting equipment! As long as it doesn't have to climb any hills with those loads, it's all gut! This one's got some of the finest animation we've ever seen in a car ad.

Would The Subaru WRX STI Really Make The Germans So Sorrowful?

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:45:00 EDT

For Wes, the 2008 Subaru WRX STI was a happy experience. For these fictional German engineers in this Subaru commercial the experience was the same. Well, that is until angry bald German bossman shows up. He ruins everything. It's a funny commercial, with a good use of Falco, but is the STI really the Japanese car the Germans wish they built? [YouTube via MotiveMag]

Iron Man Super Bowl Commercial No Longer Just A Tease

Matt Hardigree — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:57:23 EST

Here's the full Iron Man Super Bowl commercial we showed the teaser shot from on Friday in all of it's auto-loving glory. See the Audi R8...just sitting there. See the Saleen S7...just sitting there. See the Cobra...just sitting there. See...umm...the Tesla Roadster...yeah, you get the picture. Well, whatever works for Tony Stark, ya know? Remember to follow along with the rest of our automotive Super Bowl commercial coverage once your done with your fill of Marvel madness.

F-150 Spun Like A Record In A Centrifuge For Ford Pre-Super Bowl Commercial

Ray Wert — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:40:24 EST

Here's the Ford F-150 pre-Super Bowl commercial featuring everyone's favorite dirty job do-er, Mike Rowe overlooking a centrifuge spinning the big Ford pickup around by the tow hooks. And yes, it appears they really did do it — no special effects here boys. While not a "real" Super Bowl commercial as it aired a mere minute before kick off, still it's impressive enough for us to show off here. Remember to check out the rest of our automotive Super Bowl commercial coverage for more fun and check out the F-150 "Behind The Scenes" site for how they did it. [Behind The Scenes]

More Goodies At Audi Super Bowl Commercial Site

Matt Hardigree — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 15:57:39 EST

As a quick aside to our Super Bowl commercial watching — in addition to the hilarious "Godfather" Audi Super Bowl commercial, the "Truth In Engineering" site is also home to a bunch of high-production value videos, each a riff off the "Truth In..." thing the Auto Union's got going on. All of them are sure to delight and astonish the Audi fan-boys but our fave flick's got to be the "Truth In The Blacklist" video above. So head on over to Audi's site and click away — don't worry, Audi marketing maven Scott Keogh's already expecting at least 750,000 to 1.2 million of you to show up. [via Truth In Engineering]

Iron Man Super Bowl Commercial Shows Off Stark's Hot Garage

Ray Wert — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 19:45:00 EST

UPDATE: The official Iron Man Super Bowl commercial! Apparently it's not just automakers like Hyundai and Chrysler with money to burn this Super Bowl Ad Watch weekend. Nope, it's also the movie industry — it looks like Iron Man will be getting some love in a commercial airing this Sunday during the big game. Apparently, judging by this screen capture of the ad in question, we'll get some shots of Tony Stark spending some time testing his suit in a garage filled with all sorts of hot automobiles. We already knew about the Audi R8, but apparently Stark's also got himself a Cobra, a Saleen S7 and lookie-here, a Tesla roadster. Nice job, Stark — now we know what the "Whitestar" project really was all about, don't we? That's right — a hybrid powertrain for the Iron Man booster rockets. We knew it. Anyway, we'll have the official commercial up here online just as soon as it airs this weekend to add to the original Iron Man commercial — just follow along at our Super Bowl Ad Watch tag and feel free to hit the jump to make the shot above bigger than life.

Super Bowl Ad Watch: Hyundai Genesis Super Bowl Commercials Online; Halftime Show Still Live

Mark Arnold — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 08:30:00 EST

If you're not a football fan, you may have just lost one reason for watching the big game this Sunday night (unless you're going to be watching in anticipation of a Tom Petty wardrobe malfunction). That's right, we've got the highly anticipated Hyundai Genesis Super Bowl Ads right here, right now.

The Korean automaker's two new 30-sec spots take dead aim at German (rival?) automakers BMW and Mercedes-Benz and a tiny little swipe at Lexus (also rival?). Smugly touting their new 375hp V8, Hyundai is obviously trying to appeal to a more demanding clientèle and taking a little bit of an understated approach to the whole glitz-and-glam we normally expect from big budget big game ads. We think there will be quite a few people second-guessing their luxo-badge-snobbery come Sunday. And hey, does it seem like Hyundai's finally picked a front grille for the Genesis?

Super UFO Potential: Vintage Datsun 280Z Ads

Jonny Lieberman — Sat, 19 May 2007 11:00:00 EDT

Wow. So, yesterday we posted a picture of a UFO and today we talked about the old man's bangin' 280Z. Above is a video that features both. Below the jump is another, not quite as out of this world commercial. Though it does show just how rockin' the Datsun's interior was. However, before you jump we think you should read the following;

"You now face a new world, a world of change. We speak in strange terms, of harnessing the cosmic energy, of ultimate conflict between a united human race and the sinister forces of some other planetary galaxy. The nations of the world will have to unite, for the next war will be an interplanetary war. The nations of the earth must someday make a common front against attack by people from other planets."

General Douglas MacArthur- Oct. 8, 1955

We see... and we wonder if a 280Zwould be an Autobot or a Decepticon? – Jonny Lieberman

Related:
Sleeper of the Day: Datsun B210 [Internal]

Take That Boss Jambone: Fiat 124 Commercial!

Jonny Lieberman — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 15:15:22 EST

Normally we want a Fiat 124 just because they are like exotic BMW 2002s. However, after watching this commercial from 1970, we want a 124 because A) we are Bo and Luke Duke and B) we love sticking it to the man. Plus, like, talk about a sport wagon, dude. [Cheers to Mr. Gold for the tip] – Jonny Lieberman