• Jalopnik
  • spy-photos
  • jalopnik-reviews
  • Profile logout login

#comedy

Jalopnik

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #offtopic,
  • #tips,
  • #spyphotos,
  • etc.

Detroit, 10:20 PM
Sat Nov 21
14 posts in the last 24 hours

Contact

Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com

Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM

Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email

Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email

Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree

Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla

Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli

Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi

Follow Jalopnik on:
Facebook
Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1753 Subscribers
Jalopnik
  • posts about #comedy more →

    A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can

    Genuine Overnight Aussie Trucking Sexual Experts

    Sexy Time, It's In The Bible!

    Obama Likeness Selling Kia Sorentos, With Bonus MLK Pontiac Bonneville Pitch

    The Onion Scoops GM-UAW Announcement

    Adult Swim Raises Bar with V6 and Jet Powered Firetruck

  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Boosted Lego Wagon Boosted Lego Wagon
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    Not the first time a burning sensation has resulted from a blonde and cigarettes.
     Reply
    Boosted Lego Wagon was starred Boosted Lego Wagon was unstarred
    Image of Brimful of Ash on the 78 Brimful of Ash on the 78
    01/06/09

    @boosted-lego-wagon: Golf...um...clap.
     Reply
    Brimful of Ash on the 78 was starred Brimful of Ash on the 78 was unstarred
    Image of Boosted Lego Wagon Boosted Lego Wagon
    01/06/09

    @Ash78: nice one.
     Reply
    Boosted Lego Wagon was starred Boosted Lego Wagon was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    01/06/09

    I suppose you weren't refering to "desire"...@boosted-lego-wagon:
     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of Stitchopoulis Stitchopoulis
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    It could be diesel.


    And as a counterpoint to the "putting a cig out in gas" stories, one time a guy was smoking a cigarette at the gas station a few blocks down from me when I was about 8. 8 is really the perfect age to see an explosion like that. Old enough to really appreciate the enormity of the fireball and shockwave, young enough not to worry about how dangerous it is.

     Reply
    Stitchopoulis was starred Stitchopoulis was unstarred
    Image of Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
    01/07/09

    @Stitchopoulis: I am aware that I am being a dork, as well as missing the point, but the Lada Samara has never been offered with a diesel engine in any market. Although with hands like that, an engine swap is probably a piece of cake.
     Reply
    Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was starred Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    How dare she take that gas can from Lil Jon's friend. She probably stole it and is hiding behind a car with all that crunk juice.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of biminitwst biminitwst
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    She's SOOO fukin' hott!
    So she's a bit lacking in the brains dept. Big deal.
    Smart women will hurt you.
    Pretty women will...
    Well, they're pretty.
     Reply
    biminitwst was starred biminitwst was unstarred
    Image of Six Flags Over Tomsk Six Flags Over Tomsk
    01/06/09

    @biminitwst: What about and smart pretty women?
     Reply
    Six Flags Over Tomsk was starred Six Flags Over Tomsk was unstarred
    Image of Elvis left the building but I'm still sitting here... Elvis left the building but I'm still sitting here...
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    mehhh, man hands.
     Reply
    Elvis left the building but I'm still sitting here... was starred Elvis left the building but I'm still sitting here... was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    01/06/09

    @Elvis left the building but I'm still sitting here...: That was my first thought too.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    "World's most obvious Improvised Explosive Device (IED). Easily detected and avoided by the straight female and gay male infantry. Straight male and lesbian soldiers suffer high casualties, however..."
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    01/06/09

    @Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing: Hmmm, Lesbian Soldiers, now there's a fetish that may not have already been explored on Fleshbot. Semper Fisting!

     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    01/06/09

    @graverobber: Bravo for "Semper Fisting".
     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    01/06/09

    @graverobber: An older, drunker, less Canadian version of De...:

    A quick search of an Adult DVD retailer (for whom I have written DVD reviews) turns up plenty, like Puss 'n Boots, a partial synopsis of which reads:

    "...Her comrades-in-arms are lusty misfits too. Bobbi is a sly conwoman who gets her kicks by ordering soldiers around. Nora is a nasty babe who delights in girl/girl fun. Terri and Sandy sneak off to fulfill their own passions whenever they get a chance, and April is just trying to keep her nose out of the mud. Yes, Puss is in action, mobilized and ready... the bawdiest hijinks this side of Fort Dix!"



    Porn leaves no scenario unexplored...
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    01/06/09

    @Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing: Brings new meaning to the term Fox-hole. Or maybe not . . . I'm so confused.
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    01/06/09

    @Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing: Just the idea of "Puss 'n Boots" is pretty awesome.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of deluser, running from omar deluser, running from omar
    01/06/09

    @graverobber: An older, drunker, less Canadian version of De...: Rule 34

     Reply
    deluser, running from omar was starred deluser, running from omar was unstarred
    Image of Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. .
    01/06/09

    @deluser: Very nice rule 34-ing! High five!
     Reply
    Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . was starred Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . was unstarred
    Image of Six Flags Over Tomsk Six Flags Over Tomsk
    01/06/09

    @smalleyxb122: Agreed. If there was a Nobel Prize for Blog Commenting, that'd be one of the leading candidates fer sure.
     Reply
    Six Flags Over Tomsk was starred Six Flags Over Tomsk was unstarred
    Image of Brimful of Ash on the 78 Brimful of Ash on the 78
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    There was a time in college in the ~2000 era where ALL the girls were wearing those backless shirts when they went out. It sounds like it would be attractive, but it rarely was. Because the girls who could "pull it off" were not in great shape, they were just emaciated. It was like a scoliosis exam in a dance club.
     Reply
    Brimful of Ash on the 78 was starred Brimful of Ash on the 78 was unstarred
    Image of Brian Brian
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    Is it just me or is she giving that gas can a "happy ending?"
     Reply
    Brian was starred Brian was unstarred
    Image of Skunky Skunky
    01/06/09

    @Brian B: She encouraging the can to pour, she apparently hasn't figured out that there's that cap under the screw-on nozzle.
     Reply
    Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred
    Image of Zach Collins Zach Collins
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    I can tell you... from experience... a lit cigarette WILL NOT light gasoline on fire. It's a shame, really.


    Perhaps she did the same experiment I did, and knew that she'd be safe.

     Reply
    Zach Collins was starred Zach Collins was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    01/06/09

    @Zach Collins: I, too, have extinguished a cigarette in an open container of gasoline. I don't know that I'd trust it to not ignite every time, but the risk is far less than one might imagine.
     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    01/06/09

    @smalleyxb122: It's not the liquid that's dangerous. When you squeeze the sides of the container, enough vapor mixes with air to create a combustible mixture that poofs out the schnozzle. Then your hair gets singed. And don't be wearing an old nylon baseball cap. They melt on your head. Yes, I have seen it.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    Look, any woman that has hand technique like that . . . I could learn to live with the smoking and the potential immolation.
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of Saboth Saboth
    01/06/09

    @graverobber: An older, drunker, less Canadian version of De...:


    I dunno, looks like the 5 finger death grip to me. "2,002 psi and rising sir!" "My god, she could pulverize forged steel!"

     Reply
    Saboth was starred Saboth was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    01/06/09

    @Saboth: Yeah, but what a way to go!
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of Germanautoaddiction Germanautoaddiction
    01/06/09

    In reply to A Blonde, Her Cigarette And A Gas Can
    Why does her shirt look like that?
     Reply
    Germanautoaddiction was starred Germanautoaddiction was unstarred
    Image of Brimful of Ash on the 78 Brimful of Ash on the 78
    01/06/09

    @Germanautoaddiction: Because in Belarus, women's shirts are always half off.
     Reply
    Brimful of Ash on the 78 was starred Brimful of Ash on the 78 was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    01/06/09

    @Germanautoaddiction: She has it on backwards.
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of c0de c0de
    01/06/09

    @Germanautoaddiction: it's a normal backless top ! you wouldn't know because american women are too fat to wear something like that.
     Reply
    c0de was starred c0de was unstarred
    Image of Skunky Skunky
    01/06/09

    @Germanautoaddiction: It got burned off the last time she filled up a car.
     Reply
    Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    01/06/09

    @c0de: Too fat to wear it doesn't stop them.
     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
    12/22/08

    In reply to Genuine Overnight Aussie Trucking Sexual Experts
    Well Canberra is the only place you can legally buy hard-core porn.
     Reply
    LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was starred LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was unstarred
    Image of Stoatmaster Stoatmaster
    12/23/08

    @LandofMinos, Happy fucking holidays cunts!:


    Wow. What's with all the 'see you next Tuesday's?


    Tax problems? Wifes new boyfriend? 9 litre V16 pick up and optional kangaroo gun burst into flame?

     Reply
    Stoatmaster was starred Stoatmaster was unstarred
    Image of Naturally Exasperated shaves his legs. It's just common courtesy. Naturally Exasperated shaves his legs. It's just common courtesy.
    12/24/08

    @LandofMinos, Happy fucking holidays cunts!: Actually, I used to go to adult stores in my pre-Christian days. Trust me, hard-core is up here in Brisbane, right over the counter. Well, at least it was 2 years ago when I was into that sorta crap.
     Reply
    Naturally Exasperated shaves his legs. It's just common courtesy. was starred Naturally Exasperated shaves his legs. It's just common courtesy. was unstarred
    Image of LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
    12/24/08

    @SATYRICON formerly Naturally Exasperated: You can get hard-core porn anywhere in Oz quite easily, like in Kings Cross with all the strip clubs, live sex shows and street girls. The difference with Canberra is that it's legal there.
     Reply
    LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was starred LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was unstarred
    Image of LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
    12/22/08

    In reply to Genuine Overnight Aussie Trucking Sexual Experts
    I see these trucks everywhere in Sydney but have never noticed, the blind cunt I am...
     Reply
    LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was starred LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was unstarred
    Image of joneez wants the clunkers he paid for joneez wants the clunkers he paid for
    12/22/08

    In reply to Genuine Overnight Aussie Trucking Sexual Experts
    I don't get it. I must be missing something. What's COT supposed to mean?
     Reply
    joneez wants the clunkers he paid for was starred joneez wants the clunkers he paid for was unstarred
    Image of LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
    12/22/08

    @joneez is riding his Bandit in the rain: Keep looking down...
     Reply
    LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was starred LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was unstarred
    Image of joneez wants the clunkers he paid for joneez wants the clunkers he paid for
    12/23/08

    @LandofMinos, Happy fucking holidays cunts!: Sorry, I couldn't find the sarcasm symbol on my keyboard. Does someone know where I can dl one?
     Reply
    joneez wants the clunkers he paid for was starred joneez wants the clunkers he paid for was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    12/23/08

    @joneez is riding his Bandit in the rain: [en.wikipedia.org]


    Effectively, ยก. If you're on a Mac, option-1. If you're on Windows, hold Alt and push 0161 on the number pad, I think.

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of jhaber jhaber
    12/22/08

    In reply to Genuine Overnight Aussie Trucking Sexual Experts
    Oh, we have those in the States, too...


    Photobucket

     Reply
    jhaber was starred jhaber was unstarred
    Image of IN THE FACE! IN THE FACE!
    12/23/08

    @jhaber:
     Reply
    IN THE FACE! was starred IN THE FACE! was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jalopnik account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.