Jalopnik: Colorado

Deer Detecting Road Technology Being Tested In Colorado

Wes Siler — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:30:00 EDT

An electromagnetic sensor system capable of automatically detecting the presence of large animals on or near roadways and alerting drivers to their presence is being tested in Colorado. So far, the system appears to be working; the only problem might be the drivers themselves. Colorado is trialing the system on a road where up to 70% of all accidents involve vehicles colliding with animals. But how does it work?

Cables have been buried in the ground several feet from the road, running parallel to it. The electromagnetic field they emit has been calibrated to detect the interruptions caused by deer, elk, or other large animals passing over it. Signs positioned along the roadway then light up to alert drivers to the presence of the animals. For the trial phase, radar detectors are being used to calculate both the volume of traffic and its speed. Should the alerts be capable of convincing a significant enough portion of drivers to slow down when animals are present, the system could be rolled out across frequent animal crossings statewide.

We’d love to see technology like this applied to roadways. Combined with other advanced warning systems like BMW’s night vision-equipped 7-series it could make the road a safer place for humans and animals alike. [via Treehugger; photo nrcdeer.com]

1973 MG Midget

Murilee Martin — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:40:00 EDT

This is Down On The Street Bonus Edition, where we check out interesting street-parked cars located in places other than the Island That Rust Forgot. After the Shark and Minnow Midget/Continental combo, it only seemed right to share some photos of another street-parked Midget (ideally, one not overshadowed by some monster land yacht), and Kitt has shot such a car for us in her South Denver neighborhood. This one's for sale, and instead of a price it's got a printout of the NADA Guides retail value; hey, it's worth a try! I've done a fair amount of Midget driving, and they're a lot of fun… provided you carry every tool you own in the boot- you'll need 'em, thanks to the one-two punch of Lucas Electrics and SU carbs- and don't mind the disconcerting experience of viewing the undersides of truck trailers on the freeway.

DOTS FAQ

A Perfect AMX, A 390 Rambler Rogue, And Other Fun Stuff Down On The Golden Street

Murilee Martin — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:40:00 EDT

This is Down On The Street Bonus Edition, where we check out interesting street-parked cars located in places other than the Island That Rust Forgot. Last weekend I was in Denver again, and I ended up on the streets of Golden for the Golden Super Cruise. It was early evening and I didn't have my good camera, so I figured I only had time to shoot a few cars before l ran out of light. We've all seen nine million Camaros and Chargers and deuce coupes, so I figured I could skip that stuff. "I'll just shoot AMCs and any Chrysler product with huge fins," I said, and that's just what I did. Jump away for the rest.

They make Coors beer in Golden, and the brewery is a Manhattan Project-scale operation that looms over the town and fills the air with the smell of yeast. Last Saturday, however, hydrocarbons filled the air! I found this '68 or '69 AMX (AMC experts, which year is it?) in beautiful condition parked on a side street. Even before I got close to it, I knew it would have a 4-speed and a 390. Note the "hyperspace" button on the shifter; yes, this car is probably a bit quicker than it was when it left Kenosha.

The Renault Torino was based on the Rambler Rogue, and the mighty '69 SC/Rambler was, too. With that kind of heritage, what's not to love about this '66 Rogue, equipped with built 390 and 4-speed?

I saw this Rambler cop car roll by, but never could find it holding still enough for photography. However, I was able to capture another Rambler of similar vintage in a nearby parking lot. Note the local dealer emblem on the trunk lid; it appears to be a lifelong Colorado car.

I think this screaming tangerine '57 Chrysler got more attention from passersby than anything else I saw in Golden that eventing; it was very difficult to catch it without a half-dozen awed spectators drooling over it. These things came with 375-horse 392 Hemis back in the day, but I suspect it has something even more wicked today.

DOTS FAQ

Dirt-Oval Veteran '38 Ford Would Be Hell Project, Definitely Worth The Pain

Murilee Martin — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:00:00 EDT

I'm in Denver pretty regularly, and that means I'm often roaming about the area with camera in hand, looking for more photos of street-parked old vehicles to add to the Down On The Street Bonus Edition stash. I was happy to find three vintage Fairlanes on a previous trip, but I just about flew through the windshield in Englewood, so hard did I brake when I spotted what appeared to be an original 1950s race car sitting on a trailer in an industrial 'hood. I didn't know it yet, but I'd arrived at RoadSideWerx.

I went inside the shop to talk to Matt, the very friendly über-gearhead running the joint, and the place was full of rod projects, vintage car magazines and posters, even a breathtakingly original Jag E-Type.

It turns out that the '38 has a storied (though somewhat murky) racing history dating back to the 1950s, and it's currently inspiring feverish dreams of driving the ultimate rat rod in the minds of just about every right-thinking person who catches sight of it. I am forced to admit that I contemplated the logistics of buying it as my personal Hell Project, but I have about 0.004% of the wrenching chops needed to make this thing come back to life. Let's read what Matt has to say about this car:

I am flattered and enthusiastic to get a post up on Jalopnik. Hopefully from visiting RoadSideWerx, it is evident that we build and collect Classic Cars and Hot Rods with pure heart and soul; many people are in it for the money. We are in it for the nostalgia of the sport, and to pay tribute to the men and cars themselves that created a classic American era. To tell you a little bit about the car, I would most respectfully like to correct you in that the car is not a '36 Ford race car, rather it is a 1938 racer. More specially, a 1938 Ford Special Deluxe Business Coupe, which I'm sure you already know is a gem in its rarity to the era. I would also like to tell you that while I may not know the exact history behind the automobile, the factoids and stories I have come across tell me that this is not a piece of automotive history to be overlooked.

Being a survivor of the 1964 Denver flood, much of the car's exterior and interior has been left rusted and worn. Fortunately, for history's purpose, on the driver's side door, one can clearly see that this is car #66 that was raced at Lakeside Amusement park/raceway. From the history that I have received on the car, it was also raced on the Englewood speedway, which was prominently active in the 1950's and 1960's by local gear-heads and builders. The car is also known as a dirt oval, the earliest form of a NASCAR. To my knowledge, it is in its complete and original form from this period in which it was driven.

Logistically speaking this is what we know about the car's build and engine:
* Driven off the track
* 24 stud - flathead engine
* 1938-1939 - 3 Speed - Top-loader transmission
* Ford wide bolt pattern with custom off set for oval racing
* The wheels are Volkswagon style, which offered better performance for racing because it didn't tear the lug nuts out.
* Custom offset wheels that were done by the owner, showing his true early race background. It also demonstrates that the builder put true thought and detail behind this racer.
* The rear bumper is a narrow gauge railroad track piece... not really significant to performance or ability, but just a fun fact about the car to be shared and mentioned.
* The front wishbone was used as a radiator protector
* Steering shaft with sector gear on the front was removable to remove tow bar, the car then, was towed behind a car to the track.

As I mentioned earlier, I unfortunately cannot provide you with the exact history of racer #66. From what I am told, it is from two brothers with the last name of Bluemont. I was also loosely told that they it is likely that these brothers (Art is the name of one of the brothers), were local racers and perhaps owned a gas station or two. My guess would be that their gas stations had affiliation with Amoco, due to a sticker that is on the car. Don't take my word for it, but that would be my best guess. The car itself was found fenced into a backyard that couldn't be seen from the road. It sat in this yard from the late 50's or early 60's until I was lucky enough to stumble upon it. The woman whose yard it resided in is probably close to 90 years old. That being said, I'm not sure her accuracy is up to par, but it is thought that her husband and/or brother-in-law owned and raced the car. This was outstanding to me, if that is true, than this makes me only the second or third owner of a car that is around 70 years old. Sadly, at this point in my e mail, my story and knowledge of the car is limited. I do look forward to learning more about it, and experiencing this true find of an authentic hot rod.

Best,
Matt

Bavaria In The Rockies: A Trio Of Colorado BMW Survivors

Murilee Martin — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT

This is Down On The Street Bonus Edition, where we check out interesting street-parked cars located in places other than Island That Rust Forgot. I've got quite the stockpile of photographs from Denver, thanks to Kitt, EJacobs, and my own bimonthly visits to the Mile High City. Today we're going to have another 3-Fer-1 Colorado-palooza, with one BMW from each of us!

First up is this BMW 633CSi, found in northwestern Denver by Ejacobs. This car looks about as nice as it's possible for a 25-year-old driver to be, particularly in a town with snowy winters and harsh sun.

Now it's Kitt's turn. This 2002 was shot last winter- yeah, it sometimes takes me forever to get to these photos- in the parking lot at the Arapahoe Basin ski area. Yes, Colorado BMW owners know you don't need a damn Explorer or Forester just to go skiing! This car's a little rough, but it still gets the job done after all these decades.

Here's a Malaise 2002 I found near the University of Denver; the square taillights and 5 MPH bumpers mean it's a '74-76 model, and it appears that Denver-registered vehicles newer than 1959 require biannual smog checks, so the owner of this rough-but-serviceable 2002 can't do much about the lo-po engine and remain legal. Can't they get rid of wood-burning stoves instead?

Down On The Street FAQ

Three Photographers, Seven Fords, One Mile-High City

Murilee Martin — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EDT

So the DOTS Bonus Edition photos keep rolling in from every direction- and I'm doing my best to post them all- but the stockpile of car photos from Denver has reached absurd proportions. First there was Kitt on the south side, then EJacobs started shooting interesting old cars in the northwestern part of town; by this time I have a backlog of a dozen vehicles from each of them. To add to the fun, I get shipped to Denver for work every few months, so I can add my own photos to the list! Today, we've got one set of photos each from Kitt, Ejacobs, and me. The unifying theme: Old Fords! Make the jump for three more big galleries.

First up is what appears to be a '40 ~~Ford~~ Mercury with a towbar semi-permanently attached. It looks like it runs under its own power, so perhaps it lives behind a giant RV most of the time; bet that makes an impression at the campground! The chainsaw manual on the front seat is an interesting touch.

Now here's a pack of three Ford products- technically, two Fords and a Lincoln- that live together in EJacobs' neighborhood. Looks like we've got a '68 Fairlane 500, a '53 Ford, and a '77 Lincoln Continental Mark V coupe. Fords from three different decades, and virtually no parts interchangeability!

Last up are some photos of a matched set of three Fairlane 500s, clearly owned by the same person. It seems to be a Denver tradition to own three similar old cars and park them on the street, and the owner of these Fairlanes might well have more of them stashed in the garage and/or the back yard. I believe we're looking at two '65s and a '67, two coupes and a sedan. The rough-looking '65 in the middle is clearly the hot rod of the trio, with traction bars, dual exhaust, the half-Cragar treatment, and a floor-shift manual transmission. It's got 289 emblems, but there's no telling what's really under the hood; let's hope it's a 427!

Morons Duel With Tasers In Colorado Parking Dispute

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 19 May 2008 11:00:00 EDT

We sometimes wonder if the implementation of the Taser doesn't give people an opportunity to injure someone when, otherwise, they'd have to man-up and fight or shoot someone. This concern has only been reinforced by recent tasings that happened rather quickly. For Exhibit B we have the case of a security supervisor and a restaurant owner who squared off with the electric stun guns after a dispute over a parking spot. Harvey Epstein, the owner of a Mexican restaurant, was upset that a security guard reporting to Casey Dane had booted one of Epstein's employee's van. It's unclear who was in the right on that one, but what happened next put both men clearly in the wrong.

Epstein attempted to cut the boot off with a pair of bolt cutters, which Dane found threatening. Dane put his hand over his holstered pistol, which Epstein found threatening. Instead of talking it over like adults, they drew their Tasers and fired. Neither were seriously injured, though the restauranteur was charged with felony menacing and using a stun gun. Said police, "It was just kind of a bonehead deal."

[Photo: Mansfield PD, MSNBC]

Oslo Traction-Avant... Or Denver SM?

Murilee Martin — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

After seeing some old Citröens down on the Oslo street yesterday, Denver's Kitt ran right out and shot a Citröen in her neighborhood. And not just a garden-variety DS or 2CV- this here is a genuine JFG-worthy SM! Looks like this one may be paying one of its all-too-common visits to the shop, but it's still alive and on the street!

Volvo Bertone Flashes Italo-Swedish Style On Denver's Boulevards

Murilee Martin — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

There's a Volvo 262C parked in a driveway scant blocks from my house; it would be a super-cool DOTS car, but it's off-limits. Not so for the Bertone in ejacobs' neighborhood, which is on the street and set up for easy photography with no other vehicles nearby. These things sold for 15 grand back in the day, well over twice the price of a regular 242; this one has some rust, but looks pretty complete.

British Steel Screaming For Vengeance In Denver

Murilee Martin — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:00:00 EDT

We need more Judas Priest references here, and Denver's EJacops has given us the opportunity to drop a couple by finding and photographing these three British machines in his neighborhood. We've got a shockingly rust-free TR6, a Land Rover that seems ready to claw its way straight up the nearest 14,000-foot mountain, and when was the last time you saw a TR3 parked on the street in a manner that suggests it actually runs regularly? Good work, EJacobs! Make the jump for a second gallery.

1976 AMC Matador Brings A Taste Of Kenosha Malaise To Denver's Streets

Murilee Martin — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:00:00 EDT

We're being buried under a deluge of car photos from Kitt and EJacobs, our dog-walking, camera-wielding friends in Denver, so we'd better keep 'em coming if we're ever going to get caught up. Today we're going to look at a battered but proud Malaise Matador, courtesy of Kitt. We can't be sure that this car is equipped with today's Engine of the Day, but there's a good chance a torquey AMC 258 motivates this survivor; otherwise it has a 304, 360, or 401.

Ponton Drinks Colorado Kool-Ade, Thrives On Golden Roads

Murilee Martin — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:40:00 EDT

Even though Coloradans get the occasional dose of road salt, it appears that their dry climate does a pretty good job of preserving old street-driven iron. Golden-based Discontinuuity sent us a whole bunch of photos of interesting old vehicles parked in Coors City a while back, and now he's returned with some shots of a friend's daily-driven Benz Ponton. Make the jump for more photos and Discontinuuity's description.

Hello again from the home of Coors!

And now to the story of the Mercedes-Benz pictured below. This one belongs to a friend who has had it in his family for a long time. He had been driving a 1980s vintage diesel Benz which had a tendency to not start on cold days, so he traded it to his Dad for this one. Fancy that, a nearly 50 year old car that runs better than a 20 or 30 year old one! Well, by "runs better," I mean that it leaks gas out of the fuel pump, the 4-speed column shifter pops out of gear, and the non-power four-wheel drum brakes take some getting used to. Other than that, this is a perfectly functional, if a bit worn out daily driver that probably works better than half of the 15 year old college student cars leaking oil on other campus parking spots.

I got a chance to drive this thing last week, and it's quite a machine. Not fast, safe, economical, or comfortable by any modern standards, but man does it have buckets of character and style. See that chrome ring in the middle of the steering wheel? That's the turn signal switch. And that canvas section of the roof slides back on tracks to give you a sunroof. Just look at the interior too: simple, elegant, and functional.

A Quartet Of Chevy Pickups Down On The Denver Street

Murilee Martin — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Since Truck Monday has been a Down On The Street tradition for quite a few weeks, we might as well extend the concept to DOTS Bonus Edition. And who else but Denver's Kitt could go out and find not just one but four cool old Chevy pickups for us? We got what appears to be a '69, a '70, a '72, and a '77, each earning its keep in the 5280. It's a Quadra-Truck-Stravaganza! Make the jump to see four- count 'em, four- additional galleries!

Land Cruiser Still Earning Its Keep In Denver

Murilee Martin — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:00:00 EDT

You think Kitt and her trusty canine sidekick have given up looking for cool old cars in their Denver neighborhood? No way! After the big-block El Camino last week, we're getting a Toyota Land Cruiser that's still in service as a painter's work truck. I've given up trying to guess the years on these things, especially when they've been modified, though the side marker lights may indicate a late-60s/early-70s model here. Make the jump for an additional gallery.

Colorado Road Sign Designers Eschew Spellcheck

Murilee Martin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:30:00 EDT

The Lookout Mountain exit on I-70 needed a new sign, and the Colorado Department of Transportation obliged... with one that read "Lookout Mountian." Rather than face the embarrassment of such a gaffe, the CDOT covered the sign with a tarp until a new one could be made (cost to taxpayers: $1,000). [9News.com]

Free Car, Perhaps With Bonus Mobster Corpses Inside!

Murilee Martin — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 08:00:00 EDT

The "Free Stuff" section of Craigslist will often yield a car or two, a great resource for those seeking a parts donor or a cheap race car. Sometimes, though, you need to do a little work to get your free car. Like, say, in the case of this free car in Colorado Springs, which presents certain challenges... not the least of which is the fact that it's buried under a dirt road. Thanks to Highmile for the tip, and for getting the guy who posted the CL ad to send in a photo of the car in its current location. [Craigslist Colorado Springs, go here if ad disappears]

Denver Bronco Ready For The Apocalypse

Murilee Martin — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:00:00 EST

What year Bronco are we looking at here? Well, there's a 302 emblem, and dual fuel tanks, and a blacked-out grille... but these clues don't mean a whole lot when they're on a vehicle that's probably had more than 50% of its components swapped from other trucks during its lifetime. 1970? 1975? You tell us! Kitt has added another well-traveled old truck to our collection of Down On The Denver Street entries; now we've got a Rampage, an IH Travelall, a Dodge Camper Special, and a Cherokee. Make the jump for more photos.

Put On Your Coorsskin Cap: Down On The Golden Street!

Murilee Martin — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:45:00 EST

Remember those knit caps with shards of Coors cans sewn into them? Coorsskin! Put on your Billy Carter suit of armor made from beer can pull-tabs, and you'll be dressed for some Malaise beer-drinking action. And that brings us to Golden, Colorado, where Coors is made and Discontinuuity has photographed more than a dozen cool old street-parked vehicles for us. Make the jump for many, many more photos and Discontinuuity's descriptions.

Just thought I'd send you some pictures of old cars I've seen parked on the street in Golden Colorado. I don't know much about them (except that the VW pickup is an '81 diesel), but if you're doing DOTS in Denver you might as well do it in Golden too. I've put a few observations below.

(Yellow Ford pickup) While not technically parked on the street (this is in an apartment parking lot), this truck and the Jeep behind it were too good to pass up. I don't think this truck has moved in awhile

(Green MGB) I see the owner of this MG blasting around Golden sometimes. I think he's a student at the School of Mines. He's certainly got plenty of stickers.

(VW Rabbit pickup) My neighbor is getting his roof redone. One of the workers was driving this thing. He says it gets about 45 mpg and that guys in bigger trucks tend to laugh at his old pos.

(Toyota Land Cruiser) JC Whitney Spirit of Ecstasy figurehead

(Yellow Dodge truck) Not the best gas cap

(Turquoise Dodge truck) This Dodge pickup is my favorite of the bunch. It's Job-Rated! No parking brake, apparently. I love that gas pedal. That wooden bed is in surprisingly good condition.

(Orange IH Scout) Dig those funky plastic windows.

(White IH Scout) The second Scout. I didn't stick around to take many more pictures of this one since it sounded like some kind of domestic disturbance was happening in the house back there

When There's No Snow, Vail is Nothing But Kobe Bryant and Hybrids

Ray Wert — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:30:00 EDT

("Follow us as we lift the hood on the world of industrial automotive espionage in From The Car Spy's Dossier, a series of road reports from A-list spy shooter Brenda Priddy and some of the world's greatest car spies!)I barely had a chance to unpack at my motel right across from BMW's so-called "top secret" hot weather test garage last week before Toyota called and invited me to Colorado for a few days to drive their new Highlander Hybrid. I used to think that an invitation from a auto company was nothing more than a ploy to get me out of town, and out of the action of wherever I may be at the moment, so that they could proceed to test their upcoming vehicles without worry about which cactus or maple I'd pop out from behind. But a couple of days in Vail...err...I mean a chance to drive a pre-production Highlander Hybrid was too good to pass up.

I threw some clothes in a backpack, lined up a couple of shooters to take my place and made the 3+ hour drive to the nearest airport. A 737 and a couple of puddle-jumps later, I finally made it to Vail. It was one of those trips where you spend more time in airports than on planes, but who could pass up a few days in the Colorado mountains? Especially at a luxury hotel where even the toilet paper looks like a piece of artwork? And, of course, who could pass up driving the new Highlander? Especially as we'd heard Toyota designers and engineers worked closely with consumers in clinics to make the Highlander as friendly as possible with a unique "Customer First" approach.

But the Highlander wasn't the talk at the bar...err...in the media room. That's because every limo driver and tour guide in Vail mentions Kobe Bryant within the first 3 minutes of stepping in — despite the story being . And because we were staying at The Lodge & Spa at Cordillera, the details kept on pouring in from well-intended tour guides.

Now, sorry guys, I'm not a big sports fan. Perhaps Bryant is one of the reasons why, but even I knew who Kobe was. Doesn't everyone?

And this is definitely one of those times one wonders if this should even be brought up. Kobe's activities in Eagle County, Colorado, ultimately left countless victims - including the members of his own family. But then our driver mentioned that THIS was the very hotel, and suddenly everyone was guessing if he or she was in "Kobe's Room."

Once a spy, always a spy - and I just couldn't resist: I had to find out which room Kobe had rented. It started with an internet search, and then with a hike across the property to find the room.

It turned out that Kobe's room on the night of June 30, 2003, was room 35. But shortly afterwards, likely because of all the media attention and countless curiosity-seekers, The Lodge & Spa at Cordillera renumbered all of their rooms, and every bit of furniture in Room 35 was reportedly sold to a used-furniture dealer in Denver. Today room 35 is now 156! (No big secret here ... any amateur sleuth could of figured that out!)

So who was in Kobe's suite this evening? I'll never tell (perhaps I was paid-off!), but regardless of the unusual events surrounding the Lodge at Cordillera it was well worth it to be a part of the Highlander's launch.

But I had to hurry back to my 1940s-era motel (in an undisclosed location, of course) because BMW had an X6 sitting across the street, and the Scirocco was just screaming for pictures!!

Brenda Priddy

Ford Tempo Hoonage Ends In Tragedy

Murilee Martin — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:30:24 EDT

It sounds like your standard hoonage scenario: get a $300 '84 Ford Tempo, Sawzall the roof and doors off, set up a ramp by a lake near Greeley, Colorado, and jump the car into the lake at the highest speed the old heap can manage. The jump went off as planned, with the car managing 40 miles per hour. Unfortunately, one of the participants, 18-year-old David Griego, couldn't swim (perhaps because he was injured in the landing), and he drowned post-splashdown. As sad reminders go, it's just about the worst case imaginable.

Teens grieve after stunt [Denver Post]

2008 Chevy Colorado To Get A V8?

Ray Wert — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:15:00 EDT

The folks over at the site all about trucks that pick up are claiming Chevy's finally going a bit more rock-like for the 2008 version of the midsize pickup from the 'merican revolution. They claim the Colorado (as well as its platform cousin Canyon) will be receiving the same small-block 5.3-liter 295 hp engine powering its other-other cousin, the 2008 Hummer H3 Alpha. That's a bit of a bump from the current engine offerings — the Vortec 2.9-liter 185 hp four cylinder and the Vortec 3700 3.7-liter 242 hp five cylinder. Although the folks at the General aren't confirming anything — they are saying "stay tuned." We'd also like to point out they tell us "stay tuned" every time we ask whether we'll see a new El Camino at the next Detroit show. We've been asking that question for the past 2 1/2 years. – Ray Wert

'08 Means a V8 for Chevrolet Colorado [PickupTruck.com]

(Photo: Total Media)

Apparent Spike in Chrysler LH Platform Vehicle Resale Values

Davey G. Johnson — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 22:45:00 EST

POW! He was decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr.

Apparently, other things are afoot in Pueblo, as well. To wit, Nicole Uribe, Irene Lerma and her husband Jose-Juan Lerma are being held on $50,000 bail after Uribe offered the Lermas a five-month-old child in exchange for the down payment on a Dodge Intrepid. God, if that kid ever finds out his mom only thought him worth part of an obsolete '90s Dodge sedan, self-esteem issues are gonna dog him for the rest of his life. If it were us, we might feel compelled to change our name to "Cab Forward" later in life. – Davey G. Johnson

Woman accused of using infant as car down payment [CNN]

Is UBIK Covered By Honda's Warranty?

Murilee Martin — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 15:54:19 EST

While I was visiting Denver last weekend, I decided to drive the 80 miles out to Fort Morgan, CO to visit Philip K. Dick's grave (which was completely covered in snow and ice, but after busting all the teeth off a plastic windshield scraper scouring the tombstone's face- yeah, we don't know shit about dealing with ice where I come from- I was able to view Horselover Fat's final resting place). Then I looked up from the grave and saw it- clear evidence that Forces Too Powerful For Mere Mortals To Understand were at work nearby: A collapsing garage, next to a well-maintained house and with a new-ish Ford in the driveway, containing a prematurely decayed late-80s Prelude. Obviously the Prelude's owner needs to buy a can of UBIK in order to undo the deleterious effects of the space-time garboonage centered on his garage. – Murilee Martin

Official Philip K Dick Website [philipkdick.com]

Related:
The Future Is Our Assignment [internal]

Austin Stays Golden, Drives From Ann Arbor to Colorado On E85

Davey G. Johnson — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 15:30:00 EDT

One of our resident reviewers proved you can go home again by getting some action from Jean Jennings. No, not like that. Austin went back to his old Automobile boss and picked up a gig driving an Impala solely on E85 from Michigan to the Coors brewery in Golden, where they not only brew beer, but manufacture ethanol. And then, y'know, he drank some beer. Because if there are two things Austins know how to do well, it's grow top-quality Blue Spruce, Norway Spruce and Canaan Fir trees and consume alcohol.

2006 Chevrolet Impala E85: Hopped up on Ethanol [Automobile]

Bullrun Update: Across Kansas and Off to Colorado

Davey G. Johnson — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 15:30:00 EDT

This morning a tag-along (as in not officially on the rally) maroon Escalade hit a tree near the start and was destroyed. No serious injuries. At one point, all of the cars were pulled over together near Topeka, KS and let go with a warning. There'd been a few reports of these Escalade guys causing problems over the course of the last couple of days, and we have to say, it serves the assholes right for messing things up for people. Meanwhile, the Scotto/Harris Z06 got pulled over twice yesterday, but only scored one ticket. There have been no reports of a tagalong widower in a Winnebago.

Bullrun Update: Ditka Would've Taken the Lot of 'Em

Davey G. Johnson — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 22:14:05 EDT

As the teams first pulled into Chicago, there were conflicting reports as to whether the Magnaflow RS4 driven by Stefan Johannson and Prince Malik came in first or the RENNTech CL600 of Team Reicke came in in the lead position. The Reicke boys, Jay Reicke and Byron Burkhardt, were the confirmed first-placers, rolling in around 7pm, with the RS4 in second. 3rd was the Team Darkcyde support Navigator driven by Jason Garber, beating the team's Lotus.

Meanwhile, more drama from Michigan. While traffic was hauling ass, autobahn style, in the right lane, the Collins Brothers smashed by on the left at 160. Almost immediately in the Collins 550's wake, an MSP cruiser pulled out and parked, bisecting the center line on I-94, basically daring anyone to go around. It's unconfirmed who the officers were looking for, if anyone.

Projected route? Now that they're in Chicago, figure that they'll most likely head down to Nebraska, across to Denver, down to New Mexico, over to Vegas and then to LA. Why do we say that? Alex Roy wouldn't comment, despite our probing, but we figure since the Bullrun went through Bonneville last year, and a rally hasn't been through Albequerque since '03, and they all stop in Sin City, that's gotta be it. And Nebraska, judging by our understanding of the geography of the United States, is the perfect pivot point for a run through the treacherous mountain passes of Colorado, where scanners have short range and cops have a myriad of hiding places.

The next two days or so, as Arte Johnson would say, should be veeeeery eenterestingk.

Pete Coors Nabbed For DUI

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 00:00:00 EDT

And now for a word from our Lord and Savior, Ronnie James Dio:

I'm the day, I'm the day
I can show you the way
And look — I'm right beside you
I'm the night, I'm the night
I'm the dark and the light
With eyes that see inside you!

Here's a tip, Pete. Don't drive on the Silver Mountain while inebrious while listening to anything other than Ron's various projects. It makes you look off-message. Stick to the Rocky Mountain spring water. Or Coors Light. Same diff. [Thanks to Henry for the tip.]

Pete Coors Arrested for DUI [Denver Post]

Related:
Colorado Hoon Pays the Ultimate Price [Internal]

Colorado Hoon Pays the Ultimate Price

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 00:57:00 EDT

Kelley Faylor was driving along in Burlington, CO, apparently rather inebrious, with his pals Gage Cloyd and Korey Schulte. Cloyd and Schulte decided to climb out the sunroof to do some car surfing. We're not sure what happened next, but the two ended up on the hood and then on the ground. Schulte was badly injured, and Cloyd's life was cut short after being run over. Faylor is charged with DUI, vehicular homicide and vehicular assault. Now Faylor may have been a dumbass for drinking and driving, and even more of a dumbass for allowing his friends onto the roof of his car. And admittedly, our evidence is sparse, but really, homicide? Assault? Seems to us he should get slapped with a DUI and a vehicular manslaughter charge. But then again, such is the price one pays for hoonage. [Thanks to Eric for the tip.]

One dead in car surfing incident [9 News]

Related:
More hoons [Internal]

The Speed-Trappiest Towns in the USA

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 22:30:00 EDT

If one Sheriff R.P. Coltrane ever finally runs permanently afoul of a certain Jefferson Davis Hogg, it would behoove him to look for employment in one of the cities listed after the jump.

1. Detroit, Michigan suburbs
2. Washington, D.C.
3. Orlando, Florida
4. Colorado Springs, Colorado
5. Houston, Texas
6. Virginia Beach, Virginia
7. Austin, Texas
8. Baton Rouge, Louisiana
9. Nashville, Tennessee
10. Fresno, California

Top Ten US Speedtrap Cities [TheNewspaper via TransportTrends]

Related:
My Hoopty Rollin', Speed-Camera Evadin' [Internal]

Denver May End Sniffer Tests

Davey G. Johnson — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 18:34:21 EST

Authorities in the Mile High City may be fixin' to put down their emissions testing program like a huntin' dog with a busted nose. Back in the 1970s, Denver had the highest carbon monoxide numbers in the nation and enacted tailpipe testing in 1980. Now, with the advent of 'lectronic smog-suppressin' wizardry and sneaky sniffer vans to hunt down gross emitters like the wretched vermin they are, some officials are wondering if the return on the $26 mil a year invested in the program is too low.

Colordado may end Denver tailpipe testing [UPI]

Related:
Another Slant on Pennsylvania and CARB [Internal]