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Detroit, 1:49 PM
Tue Dec 1
31 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    Dear Lord, Sweet Baby Jesus,

    Forgive me for my request,

    Of which I am about to make.


    Please Lord, Baby Jesus, Baby Lord,

    God,

    Give us this day,

    To sacrifice this Douchebag's Enzo,

    So that it may not smite,

    The Heavenly Exultation of Enzos everywhere.


    In the name of Saving,

    The Celestial Name of ENZO,

    So it is written somewhere.


    Thank you Baby Jesus, Sweet Lord,

    God,


    And the Jalopnik Choir sang,


    ♪♬-♩♩♩♩♩♩

    AA-MENNN

     Reply
    POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was starred POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    Two in the pink, one wrapped around a streetlight.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    I hope he's happy... somehow have my doubts... here's his house (or one of them I suppose)


    [www.luxist.com]


    Seeing that, one thing is sure, he has no personality.

     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of wonderbrad wonderbrad
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    Remember when young rich people used to be jaunty and sporting? (see Gatsby, the Great) Now they look like such losers.
     Reply
    wonderbrad was starred wonderbrad was unstarred
    Image of the good dr zero the good dr zero
    06/30/09

    @wonderbrad: This guy seems more like a Tom Buchanan, only douchier.
     Reply
    the good dr zero was starred the good dr zero was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    The link that franzouse posted from indycar says he played professional hockey until a career ending injury. I think it's safe to assume he had money to start with. So he's no more a douche than any other professional athlete. Take that for whatever it's worth...
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    06/30/09

    @mytdawg: "So he's no more a douche than any other professional athlete."


    .....thinks of Alex Rodriguez, punches computer moniter

     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of Maxichamp Maxichamp
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    Call me a joy killing 30 something, but I really hope he has most of his money locked up for his retirement. Or else he's going to be eating cat food out of a can in Section 8 housing when he turns 70.
     Reply
    Maxichamp was starred Maxichamp was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    I believe, at moments like this, that it's important to remember the words of industrialist Herman Blume....


    "You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you."

     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of BaconSandwich and the generic grey civic of doom BaconSandwich and the generic grey civic of doom
    06/30/09

    @SCROGGS!!: COTD!
     Reply
    BaconSandwich and the generic grey civic of doom was starred BaconSandwich and the generic grey civic of doom was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/30/09

    @SCROGGS!!: I'll second that COTD nomination. That was good.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    06/30/09

    @BaconSandwich: @pauljones: If I get a COTD for quoting Rushmore, I'll eat my hat.
     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of pres pres
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    What a douche. This is a douche the likes we've not seen since SLR guy.
     Reply
    pres was starred pres was unstarred
    Image of Nickyboy - cruising the Autobahn and listening to the Scorpions Nickyboy - cruising the Autobahn and listening to the Scorpions
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    Red Cap = Huge Douche or is it Red Cap = Mega Douche


    I'm having trouble remembering the formula...

     Reply
    Nickyboy - cruising the Autobahn and listening to the Scorpions was starred Nickyboy - cruising the Autobahn and listening to the Scorpions was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, tryptophanatic Ash78, tryptophanatic
    06/30/09

    @nickyboy: I think it's "backwards cap plus vaguely shocker-esque hand gesture = douche"


    No matter what the kid's background and work ethic, I think we can agree on that.

     Reply
    Ash78, tryptophanatic was starred Ash78, tryptophanatic was unstarred
    Image of jdoubleh jdoubleh
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    I was just looking for some info on C-Note records. I really can't anything to suggest it is legitimate. We may need to hit up Chilli Palmer on his cell to see what he knows about this douchebag.
     Reply
    jdoubleh was starred jdoubleh was unstarred
    Image of Franzouse Franzouse
    06/30/09

    @jdoubleh is 'bout to get quadrazontal: No info on C Notes found either, but I did find this story about the guy:

    [www.indycar.com]

    He might be a douche, but he can drive.
     Reply
    Franzouse was starred Franzouse was unstarred
    Image of Karsten Von Urea for All Sales Event Karsten Von Urea for All Sales Event
    06/30/09

    @franzouse: I dare say that's a different guy, since he's 25 in 2005 after all.
     Reply
    Karsten Von Urea for All Sales Event was starred Karsten Von Urea for All Sales Event was unstarred
    Image of Franzouse Franzouse
    06/30/09

    @Karsten Von Urea for All Sales Event: Mhhh... But he's also described as the owner of C-Note records in that article (opening line).

    /damned bull shit online persona.
     Reply
    Franzouse was starred Franzouse was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    06/30/09

    @jdoubleh is 'bout to get quadrazontal: Heart click for the Chilli reference.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    I'm sorry...he's a Canadian Hip Hop mogul?!?!


    Makes sense...it's muthafuckin rough in Saskatoon.

     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    06/30/09

    @SCROGGS!!: Naturally, I blame Dearthair.
     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    06/30/09

    @SCROGGS!!:

    Straight out of Vancouver, Crazy motherfucker named Codey.

    I throw my gangs signs like an O-G!
     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    06/30/09

    @Dr.Danger drives a Chevrolet movie theater: needs more "eh"
     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of evo190 evo190
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    Who buys records anymore? I smell a ponzi scheme.
     Reply
    evo190 was starred evo190 was unstarred
    Image of Franzouse Franzouse
    06/30/09

    @evo190: To true OG's, Ponzi schemes are the new crack dealin'.
     Reply
    Franzouse was starred Franzouse was unstarred
    Image of fodder650 fodder650
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    I don't know why but that picture just screams caption contest
     Reply
    fodder650 was starred fodder650 was unstarred
    Image of Quattro-luvr Quattro-luvr
    06/30/09

    @fodder650: "I'm such a D-bag I don't know how to do the shocker right!"
     Reply
    Quattro-luvr was starred Quattro-luvr was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    06/30/09

    @Quattro-luvr is the Stig too: Win


    you are a winner

     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of Flathead  Smith Flathead Smith
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    I find that if you want to have some fun, position yourself so that you are in front of someone like this in a very ratty pickup. Drive kind of slow, and when they begin to tailgate, slam your brakes on.
     Reply
    Flathead Smith was starred Flathead Smith was unstarred
    Image of WpgJets WpgJets
    06/30/09

    @Flathead Smith: Makes me think about that classic bumper sticker, "I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you"
     Reply
    WpgJets was starred WpgJets was unstarred
    Image of ssurfer321 ssurfer321
    06/30/09

    @Flathead Smith: Brakes cause brake lights to turn on. Downshifting is a much better option.
     Reply
    ssurfer321 was starred ssurfer321 was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/30/09

    @WpgJets: Haha....That bumper sticker would get you shot in Los Angeles.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/30/09

    @ssurfer321: As long as you can make it look unintentional, anything's a good option.


    I need a hitch and ball on my 244 now.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    06/30/09

    @Flathead Smith: One of my friends has a "piss people off" switch on his truck. He's got it rigged up so that when you hit the switch it drips diesel / oil directly into the exhaust pipe, makes the most acrid black smoke you can imagine.
     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of drewdrawshashtags drewdrawshashtags
    06/30/09

    In reply to Youngest Ferrari Enzo Owner Is 23 Years Old
    Oh, the pain that we put record company executives through with our illegal downloading!
     Reply
    drewdrawshashtags was starred drewdrawshashtags was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/30/09

    @Drew draws in French, in Russian: No shit, right?
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of WheatKing WheatKing
    06/30/09

    @Drew draws in French, in Russian: In Canada it's perfectly legal to download.. just not upload.. yes we are the worlds leech.
     Reply
    WheatKing was starred WheatKing was unstarred
    Image of drewdrawshashtags drewdrawshashtags
    06/30/09

    @WheatKing: But you gave us POLAЯ, and for that we are forever grateful.
     Reply
    drewdrawshashtags was starred drewdrawshashtags was unstarred
    Image of drewdrawshashtags drewdrawshashtags
    06/30/09

    @Drew draws in French, in Russian: I take that back now that I know this d-bag is Canadian. Offsetting penalties FTL.
     Reply
    drewdrawshashtags was starred drewdrawshashtags was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/30/09

    @Drew draws in French, in Russian: We have quite a few awesome Canadian commenters.


    In fact, in light of their awesomeness, I'm willing to overlook the whole Bryan Adams thing.

     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/30/09

    @pauljones: I can overlook Bryan Adams, but not Alanis Morissette.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION
    06/30/09

    @Drew draws in French, in Russian: On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I apologize for La Douche Suprême!


    Oh and thanks for the props, Brother Drew!!1!

     Reply
    POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was starred POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    06/30/09

    @POLAЯ MISSES ЯANTZ WITH CHAЯLES: So, can we call this kid a hoser?
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION
    06/30/09

    @leavethegun-takethecannoli: That, or a Hooser.

    After all, it rhymes with Looser.
     Reply
    POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was starred POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was unstarred
    Image of Lost in the age of Aerostar Lost in the age of Aerostar
    06/30/09

    @FP - tittin' and shittin' with Tomsk: can we look this over:


    ** cue the music....


    "near......... far........ wherever you are..... I beleive.... that the heart does go on......."


    (sorry for ruining that moment of everyone's life)

     Reply
    Lost in the age of Aerostar was starred Lost in the age of Aerostar was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    06/30/09

    @Lost in the age of Aerostar: I hate you in a very special way. It took many years, and thousands of dollars of therapy, to repress those memories.
     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
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