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Detroit, 11:11 AM
Sat Dec 5
25 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone

    Bentley-Branded Safes Are Bulletproof Refrigerators, Just Like The Cars

    Porsche Design Launches P’9120 Desk Radio

    $2,750 Maserati Pen Will Not Help You Write Faster

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    Sony Ericsson Teams With Ducati For Cell Phone, Rich Dudes In Loveless Marriages Rejoice!

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Boosted Lego Wagon Boosted Lego Wagon
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    That's complete bullcrap, typical of the new luxo-Landies. I have a '75 Series III, and the people behind that car had designed a phone, it would have the following features:


    -aluminum body the size of a box of Kleenex.
    -frequent battery problems.
    -spare keypad bolted to top.
    -dialing wand for people who perform home frostbite surgery.
    -can be dissasembled easily, always end up with spare parts when you put it back together.
    -can be dropped in mud, submerged, set on fire, ambushed by communist guerillas and run over without complaint. Will break down when you try to make a local call.
    -number one choice of Khalihari bushmen.

     Reply
    Boosted Lego Wagon was starred Boosted Lego Wagon was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    Remember, by "3.3 feet" they don't mean exactly 3.3 feet, they mean "oi, 'bout a metre, innit?"
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    If they want to advertise their telephone as reliable, why in the name of God would they choose Land Rover to partner with?
     Reply
    Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine was starred Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/17/09

    @Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine: That's what I wanna know!
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    Oh, and they should have called this something other than Land Rover, because now we just know that if it ever gets wet, the backlight will only work between the first and fifth of each month unless the owner sacrifices a chicken.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    You know, back in the day, we had radios. Jeep radios. And those radios did all the communication stuff we ever needed. Then Lamborghini came along with with their little creation that sounds like it was named after a radio station. The vehicle wasn't great, but at least the radio worked.


    Then Hummer came along with their fancy-pants satellite radio with CD player, and guess what? They hummed their sorry asses right out of existence. And now Land Rover thinks they're the shit with their new little Beverly Hills soccer mom phone?


    My Army-green ass!


    What are you gonna do when your phone runs out of battery, you little fairies? 18 hours of talk time? I can wind my Jeep radio up and have all the frickin' talk time I want! It don't need no stinkin' lithiumnum-whatever-the-hell battery thing! Awwww, got no signal? Too bad your candy ass phone doesn't operate on short-wave and long-wave frequencies!


    "But oh, I have my little 2 megapixel camera so that I can take pictures of the wild things I run into in the Gucci store."


    Yeah? Well we have image-capturing devices, too! They're called eyes! Take off your welding #3 shade sunglasses and use them! 2 MB of memory? My brain's got a frickin' terrabyte! What are you gonna do against that!?


    A built-in torch light? Awww...isn't that cute! Get a fuckin' maglite. Those have been known to stand up to a lot worse! GPS? Great. Too bad your satellites are about to fall out of the sky! And when you tirds are scratching your asses trying to figure out where the hell you are, I'll have a compass and a map that work just fine!


    Bluetooth? Where I come from, that ain't a good sign for your dental hygiene! And if I had an "Opera Mini", I sure as hell wouldn't be bragging about!


    The hell with your candy ass Land Rover phone crap! I'll take a good old-fashioner, red-blooded, American-icon Jeep radio any day!


    /GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!

     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    @pauljones:
    From the mountains, to the prairies,
    To the oceans, white with foam
    God bless America, My home sweet home.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/17/09

    @pauljones: Let me guess. You're still using a PRIC instead of a cellphone.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing:
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing: Damn, I just had an Amerigasm right here at work.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/17/09

    @pauljones: Sorry, I need to point out one thing: Maglites are great until you actually drop 'em on something hard, at which point they immediately break both the bulb you're using and the spare in the tailcap.


    An LED-converted six-D-cell "Rodney King Special" Maglite, though, will glow forever - plenty of time to clean up the crime scene.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing: That picture made me laugh my ass off.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/17/09

    @Ambiguously Fuzzy Plushroom: I love the LED Maglites. I keep one in my car at all times.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    @pauljones: Yeah, what's with the mixed metaphors. He's waiting tables, holding a wrench?
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    1guy1phone.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    @Ambiguously Fuzzy Plushroom: Yuck.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of FlakJack FlakJack
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    But what if I need to submerge my phone to 3.4 feet??
     Reply
    FlakJack was starred FlakJack was unstarred
    Image of mechimike mechimike
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    Verizon Casio G'zone "ruggedized" phone...I bought over a year ago has been droped, kicked, and left out in the rain and the mud. So far, *knock on wood* so good. And the price was a bit more modest- around $169US as I recall.
     Reply
    mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred
    Image of Alphamazing Alphamazing
    06/17/09

    @mechimike: I got mine for ~$100. The thing is a freakin' tank, and every guy that sees it has to ask me about it. It's a manly phone, and it's awesome.
     Reply
    Alphamazing was starred Alphamazing was unstarred
    Image of mechimike mechimike
    06/18/09

    @Alphamazing: Heh...I get the same reaction. One time I was at a wedding, and the thing got passed around to every guy at the table, while the women either ignored or rolled their eyes. One fellow asked me if it would take a dunking in a glass of scotch, and I held it threateningly over my glass. It didn't get dunked, more because that would have been a waste of perfectly good scotch than out of fear that anything would happen to the phone!
     Reply
    mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    That guy's gotten his hand caught in the cookie jar a few too many times.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of Tucker589 is Hoarding James Dean's 550 Spyder Tucker589 is Hoarding James Dean's 550 Spyder
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    Good news, it's a sepository!
     Reply
    Tucker589 is Hoarding James Dean's 550 Spyder was starred Tucker589 is Hoarding James Dean's 550 Spyder was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    06/17/09

    @Tucker589: Your Futurama reference > My Family Guy reference.


    Heart-click.

     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    06/17/09

    @Scandinavian Flick is hooning the star!: Full circle back to Family Guy:


    Mort: Peter, are you eating those!?!


    Peter: /sarcasm/ No, I'm shoving them up my butt. /sarcasm

     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    Submerge only up to 3.3 feet? I guess they're planning on you either dropping it in the toilet, or leaving it in your pants when you wash them.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing: A large puddle.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Quattro-luvr Quattro-luvr
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing: Awesome.
     Reply
    Quattro-luvr was starred Quattro-luvr was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing: Or only as deep as your Land Rover can ford.
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    @Quattro-luvr with Peugeot humility: I've done both by the way, with a free phone, and revived the phone both times.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing: My cousin drops his phone in the toilet at least once a year. Don't ask me how, but he does it every year.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of benrobNU benrobNU
    06/17/09

    @SirNotAppearing: Pre or post urination?
     Reply
    benrobNU was starred benrobNU was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/17/09

    @benrobNU: Pre. I had just cleaned it. Or else I would have gotten myself another phone.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    06/17/09

    @benrobNU: One time I accidently dropped my office key card in the toilet after taking a dump...


    I flushed it and bit the $35 charge for losing it...

     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
    06/17/09

    @Scandinavian Flick is hooning the star!: I did the same thing with a $300 dental retainer. No way was I putting that thing back in my mouth.
     Reply
    discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was starred discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    My Crackberry has Jalopnik. And it has the ability to shapeshift.


    What's a 2GB memory slot? I'm pretty sure that you can put as big of a memory card in as is currently available.

     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Northernsky Northernsky
    06/17/09

    @Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer:

    Depends how the software is written. Some devices are limited.

    Read here:

    [en.wikipedia.org]
     Reply
    Northernsky was starred Northernsky was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/17/09

    @Burning Lego Monk: Why would you want to do that?
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of ThreeLitre ThreeLitre
    06/17/09

    @Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer: This is fairly useless. And pointless. iPhones are tougher than you think.


    My friend lives on the 9th floor of her apartment building. She accidentally dropped her iPhone down the garbage chute in her building. Having literally bought the thing less than 2 weeks prior, she braved it, and went down to the basement sorting through garbage and actually found the phone.


    It appeared dead, but she was able to revive it. But of course, it had just been thrown down a garbage chute, so she proceeded to swab the entire thing in rubbing alcohol several times to disinfect it. It still works. Perfectly.


    That said, the network it is connected to is shit, but the phone works as advertised.

     Reply
    ThreeLitre was starred ThreeLitre was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/17/09

    @ThreeLitre: My friend dropped his iPhone into Lake Ontario. He was able to grab it. After a few days, it worked perfectly. My Blackberry is pretty durable too, but I keep a case on just in case.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    06/17/09

    In reply to Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
    Don't worry, I put a dog turd in there, but we'll be long gone before he...
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of citroën67 citroën67
    06/17/09

    @Scandinavian Flick is hooning the star!: Funny! BTW, when did you get the star? I like the way it looks on you!
     Reply
    citroën67 was starred citroën67 was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    06/17/09

    @citroën67: Thanks! I got it yesterday with my COTD. :D
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
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