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Detroit, 5:21 AM
Wed Dec 2
30 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #cleaner more →

    UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail

    Police Arrest Michigan Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sexy-Time
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail



    Well, hello there, Sexy.
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Delusions of grandeur if he thinks a car vacuum hose would provide a snug fit... if in fact it WOULD, then people would be happily paying HIM for his efforts...
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of 6061-Tsix 6061-Tsix
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    God knows what he could do with a cup socket-mounted french fry holder...
     Reply
    6061-Tsix was starred 6061-Tsix was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    03/26/09

    @6061-Tsix: ZING!
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Fleshlight Industries™

    3363 Carnality Way

    Fresno, Ca 93650


    Dear Mr. Savage,

    Thank you for expressing interest in the current R&D Program. We have received your numerous requests for a "vacuum attachment" style of our product, at the moment we are not planning on producing one but we will inform you if we do plan to market this in the future. Thank you for your expressed interest.


    Best regards,


    Ludwig Von Poodyräuber

    VP Research and Development

    Marketing and Production Mgmnt

     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of Alfisted Alfisted
    03/26/09

    @Dr.Danger and the Masters of the Jalopniverse: Given his place of employment, I suspect Ludwig's acquaintances (he has no friends) refer to him as "Fake" Poodyrauber.
     Reply
    Alfisted was starred Alfisted was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    03/26/09

    @Alfisted: Ludwig prefers the Mugen Twin Loop



    Twin Loop, where you can always invite a friend
     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of OldeEnglishD OldeEnglishD
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    I would have gone with the Flow-be defense. I thought it was a Flow-be and my pubes needed a trim! It might have worked!
     Reply
    OldeEnglishD was starred OldeEnglishD was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Sounds gave a fake name. LeRoy meaning 'the King', I suspect he is ACTUALLY named Jason LeRoy Sausage. Sneaky devil. What you gonna do when momma names you 'king sausage'? I rest my case.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Well, if the vacuum didn't dress all up in chrome and have those exposed ribbed hoses hanging all over this sort of thing wouldn't happen. Damn right I blame the vacuum. At least the dude was nice enough to leave it a quarter or two.
     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of Adidac425 Adidac425
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    So this guy is going to jail on the tax payers dime- for this?


    Seriously?


    Sure it is absolutely rediculous, but shouldn't this sort of thing warrant probation / community service?

     Reply
    Adidac425 was starred Adidac425 was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    03/26/09

    @Adidac425: I think the abject ridicule of his "peers" in the jail would be more of a deterrent to future trysts with coin-op appliances than 10 years of community service.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of Pew Pew BOOM Pew Pew BOOM
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    He's got some curious eyebrows, that's for sure. Maybe it was just an experiment.
     Reply
    Pew Pew BOOM was starred Pew Pew BOOM was unstarred
    Image of Ben Wojdyla Ben Wojdyla
    03/26/09

    @I have a cat that can beat me up: Well, I'll admit to some photoshoppery on his mugshot for comedic effect.
     Reply
    Ben Wojdyla was starred Ben Wojdyla was unstarred
    Image of Pew Pew BOOM Pew Pew BOOM
    03/26/09

    @Ben Wojdyla: Then I suggest he finds doctor to make them look like that and use it as a defense next time he humps a vacuum, car exhaust, garden hose, etc..


    "As you can see from my eyebrows, I was born with extreme curiosity disease. Some say it's a gift, some say it's a curse. I say you let me go and we'll find out, judge."

     Reply
    Pew Pew BOOM was starred Pew Pew BOOM was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    03/26/09

    @I have a cat that can beat me up: Dear God, you make me laugh. The name is enough to get a giggle, but then your posts are full of funny.


    You get an official engineerd heart click.

     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of Daniel Horney Daniel Horney
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    I used to work with a guy whose sister worked in an emergency room. I guess they have all sorts of characters come in there. There were numerous stories of various small rodents, large phallic objects, vacuums doing damage, and, well, you can probably use your imagination.
     Reply
    Daniel Horney was starred Daniel Horney was unstarred
    Image of aSoundofSleep-less nights aSoundofSleep-less nights
    03/26/09

    @Daniel Horney:


    One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass ...

     Reply
    aSoundofSleep-less nights was starred aSoundofSleep-less nights was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    03/26/09

    @Daniel Horney: I've seen a few x-rays from my nurse friends, and they're pretty shocking.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    03/26/09

    @aSoundofSleep: Did he get it at the mall?
     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Boy, I bet he thinks "this really sucks."
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Smitty Smitty
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Not quite a Dragon ... lizard?
     Reply
    Smitty was starred Smitty was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    03/26/09

    @Smitty: Hahahaha, good one.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    I sincerely hope everybody else in the jail knows exactly what he's in there for.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of citroën67 citroën67
    03/26/09

    @Mike the Dog will work for a Preview Button!: I'll bet he will be the one playing the part of the vacuum! But ironically, I would much rather make nasty time with a carwash vacuum than spend even one day in Saginaw County Jail.
     Reply
    citroën67 was starred citroën67 was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    03/26/09

    @citroën67 is surfing Ebay for a new Preview button: Me too. Fortunately, all of the coin-op vacs in my area have nozzles on them (not removable) that would require me to be hung like a gerbil to actually complete the act.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of Alfisted Alfisted
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Me love you long time... no wait... me love you for 30 seconds per quarter.
     Reply
    Alfisted was starred Alfisted was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    03/26/09

    @Alfisted:
    What do you get for a quarter?


    Anything you want.


    Anything?


    Anything.


    Ow me so horny, ow ow, me so horny.

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, tryptophanatic Ash78, tryptophanatic
    03/26/09

    In reply to UPDATE: Michigan Car Wash Vacuum Molester Gets 90 Days In Jail
    Caught red-handed by police


    Wait, I thought he was using the vacuum.

     Reply
    Ash78, tryptophanatic was starred Ash78, tryptophanatic was unstarred
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