Unless, of course, the cargo includes a waterbed and a a few hundred hards of purple shag carpeting!

We see an exquisitely mid-80s British couple having a Silvia-style rendezvous, he with the silver manual-trans car and she in the slushbox red one. Sure, they'd both have looked a lot cooler in TVR 280is, but he'd probably have ended up sliding off the road and into a drainage ditch, while she'd have been incinerated by the inevitable electrical fire.

The Celebrity Eurosport was one of The General's many last-ditch attempts to win back all those un-American traitors who defected to the Honda and Toyota camps after a decade of Chevettes, Citations, and J2000s. It had more interior room than the old rear-wheel-drive Malibu and handled better than the regular Celebrity, but after that it becomes tough to find things to love about this car. But maybe we're all wrong about the Celebrity Eurosport! Maybe pristine unrestored examples will fetch six-figure sums at Barrett-Jackson in a few years!

Actually, the Arrow did all right for its time, certainly a more interesting car than most of the other vaguely sporty economy machines of the Middle Malaise Era. We wish more Arrows were on the street today, but most were crushed decades ago. Thanks to Joe Hardrock for the tip!

That approach made sense, because Datsun dealers were getting tired of all the lust-crazed car shoppers passing them by in favor of custom vans equipped with purple shag carpeting and airbrushed bongs that matched the paint job. Emphasizing the car's "SX appeal" shouldn't have been necessary, though, because the Mid-Malaise 200SX was a good-looking machine that offered decent performance for the time: 97 horsepower in a 2,300-pound, rear-wheel-drive car wasn't too bad by '77 standards.

Check out the laughably cramped passenger compartment in the '77 Datsun King Cab. Why, that microscopic truck would be dwarfed by the '10 Versa! How was it possible that our forefathers accepted such hardships? Truly, they were a stoic and uncomplaining breed.

Here we see a trio of hip Cutlass buyers choosing their Middle Malaise Era rides of choice. The Cutlass Supreme offered "style, value and good gas mileage," while the Cutlass Calais boasted bucket seats, special suspension, and full instrumentation." Naturally, the Cutlass Supreme Brougham was the pinnacle, with "richness inside you'd expect in bigger, more expensive cars."

Of course, we all know now that you pretty much need AWD to negotiate your typical shopping mall parking lot, so maybe Chrysler made a mistake by killing off the Eagle soon after gobbling up AMC in 1987. Could Chrysler have beat Subaru at its own game, had they only kept developing the Eagle?

The Omni/Horizon did its job, which was to provide a semi-homegrown econobox to help replace the captive-import Mitsubishis and keep the revenue flowing until Chrysler could start moving K cars into the showrooms and pay back that big government bailout loan. In fact, this platform continued in production until 1990.

We're a little disappointed that GM didn't recycle the "Mini-Brute" name for later vehicles. What if the Vega Kammback had been the Vega Mini-Brute instead?

The only problem with this deal, of course, was the car itself. By 1983, the early GM J Body (Cavalier, Cimarron, etc.) had already made a name for itself as an all-around miserable car, with reliability problems that made owners wish that Fiat would rethink its retreat from the American marketplace. But hey, a new car for cheap!

We've got babes eating flowers, elephants climbing onto flatbed trucks, Patsy Cline singing, and James Garner!
When you're done here, you might enjoy our favorite Datsun ads, then continue with our top Toyota, Renault, General Motors, British Leyland, Ford/Lincoln/Mercury, Honda, Citroën, AMC/Jeep, Mercedes-Benz/Porsche/BMW, and Chevrolet ads.

1978 GLC	1983 Cosmo Big Run	1988 929
Bongo Multivan	Titan	1989 RX-7
1980 RX-7	1980 Cosmo	1967 Cosmo Sport

You can tell that Porsche and Mercedes-Benz were just itching to start showing triple-digit speeds and tire smoke in their ads when Ronald Reagan finally 86'd those Malaise Era restrictions on hoonage in car ads. Sorry, Audi fans, we'll have to find some good vintage ads for you next time (though there is an Audi 4000 ad mixed in at the end of one of the Porsche commercials).
When you're done here, you might enjoy our favorite Datsun ads, then continue with our top Toyota, Renault, General Motors, British Leyland, Ford/Lincoln/Mercury, Honda, Citroën, AMC/Jeep, and Chevrolet ads.

1984 Porsche 928S	1994 Porsche 944	1988 Porsche 928S4
1980 Porsche 924	1987 Mercedes-Benz 190	1986 Mercedes-Benz 190
1998 BMW M5	1981 BMW 315	1988 BMW 5 Series

There's a good cross-section of Kenosha advertising style here, from the 60s muscle cars and penny-pinching economy sedans to the Malaise Era favorites and into the Members Only 80s. When you're done here, you might enjoy our favorite VW ads, then continue your car-advertising overdose with the Datsun, Toyota, Renault, General Motors, British Leyland, Ford/Lincoln/Mercury, Honda, Citroën, and Chevrolet ads.

1979 Jeep Cherokee	1983 Jeep CJ-7	1987 Jeep Comanche
1976 Jeep CJ-5 Levis	1975 AMC Pacer	1969 AMC Rambler Rebel
1967 AMC Rebel	1967 AMC Ambassador Wagon	1981 AMC Eagle
1969 AMC Javelin	1969 AMC Ambassador	1969 AMC AMX
1973 AMC Gremlin	1979 AMC Spirit

With that futuristic touch-screen dash display, it's no wonder that the forces of evil will stop at nothing to get their hands on the Trofeo. Why, they'll even blow up a hay wagon in their desperation!

The Spirit was built on the aging Gremlin chassis, and you could even get a not-so-quick AMX version. Still, we'd have taken the Spirit over the Chevette, if only for the possibility of getting a 304 V8 with a 4-speed.

When you're done here, you might enjoy our favorite VW ads, then continue your car-advertising overdose with the Datsun, Toyota, Renault, General Motors, British Leyland, Ford/Lincoln/Mercury, Honda, and Chevrolet ads.

1995 XM Pallas	1975 GSX	1987 BX
1973 GS	1980 2CV	1977 GS
1988 AX	1987 AX Hit FM	1985 CX

Of course, that comparison isn't really fair, since the EPA used to run the "highway" test at a much lower speed, plus the Versa has all manner of safety gear and luxury accessories that 210 owners only dreamed about. Still, you'd think that we'd have made more progress on fuel economy in 30 years, no?

We've got 40 years of Honda ads here, from North America, Japan, and Israel. Civics that love leaded gas, 600s that force towns to resize all their parking spaces, and NSXs marketed with Honda nameplates. Just click on the thumbnail to head straight for the original post.
When you're done here, you might enjoy our favorite VW ads, then continue your car-advertising overdose with the Datsun, Toyota, Renault, General Motors, British Leyland, Ford/Lincoln/Mercury, and Chevrolet ads.

1984 City Turbo	1988 Cyber Sports CRX	1969 1300
1978 Civic	1978 Civic	1971 600
1994 VTEC	1991 NSX	2004 Civic
1988 Cyber Sports	1995 Civic	1986 CRX

The Triumph Mayflower ad, for a car James May condemns as the Ugliest Vehicle Ever Made, is especially puzzling. Did Triumph think that associating their products with some hookwormy clod pounding on a wagon wheel was a good idea?