Good morning comrades! The glorious revolution has treated us well, no? We have fields to harvest dirt in, and Subarus for us to play in.

Gather round kids, because I'm about to tell you a story.

When this video first started up, it wasn’t exactly clear what I was hearing. Is that a boat? Maybe it’s an unusually deep-throated lawnmower? No.. it can’t be…

If you'll pardon me a moment, I'd like to ponder a certain scene from the film The Fast and the Furious that bears a striking similarity to this ad for the late 1980s Hyundai Excel.

This week Jalopnik buddy and noted speed fiend Alex Roy made the insanely great but also somewhat questionable decision to become a Porsche 928 owner. For some strange reason he let Travis and Raph drive it a bit, and they seemed impressed.

The year is 1987 and Cadillac is desperate to shake off its image as a manufacturer of land boats for people who wear white loafers. They want to compete with Mercedes-Benz and BMW! But this isn't the GM of today that produces gems like the ATS and the new CTS. No, this is 80s GM, and so they go into battle with this: …

It's 1995 and a new Mitsubishi Eclipse has just hit the streets. But this is back during the high days of the DSM era, so it's not just an Eclipse, it's also an Eagle Talon. And to market it the folks at Chrysler turned to one of America's greatest motorsports legends: Academy Award nominee Greg Kinnear.

In the great pantheon of automotive TV commercials, one ad stands above all the others. It harkens back to a time when men were real men and women rode around in their luxuriously-appointed Japanese sportscars. It is visually stunning and features an incredible soundtrack. It is ridiculous beyond all comprehension and …

Here's the situation: You're a Chrysler engineer. Your boss Lee Iacocca told you and your buddies to make a sports car that can run with the Trans Am and the Supra. Unfortunately, the year is 1984, so all you've really got to work with is the K-car platform. So what do you do?

Man, I feel like I missed an obvious Classic Ad Watch choice last weekend, and I'm here to apologize for that.