• Jalopnik
  • spy-photos
  • jalopnik-reviews
  • Profile logout login

#clarkson

Jalopnik

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #offtopic,
  • #tips,
  • #spyphotos,
  • etc.

Detroit, 10:30 AM
Wed Nov 25
25 posts in the last 24 hours

Contact

Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com

Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM

Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email

Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email

Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree

Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla

Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli

Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi

Follow Jalopnik on:
Facebook
Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1753 Subscribers
Jalopnik
  • posts about #clarkson more →

    VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"

    Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"

    Environmentalists Leave Shit On Jeremy Clarkson's Driveway

    Top Gear: BMW Z4 Vs. Nissan 370Z

    25 Jeremy Clarkson Car Quotes

    Jeremy Clarkson Trapped In Port-A-Potty By Snotty Kids

    Jeremy Clarkson: US Viewers Don’t Get Top Gear

    Top Gear Hit By Budget Cuts, Jeremy Clarkson’s Diarrhea Of The Mouth Intact

    Top Gear Season 10 Available In iTunes

    Jeremy Clarkson's Thriller DVD Blows Stuff Up
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of ArtForge ArtForge
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Who cares? It doesn't have a diamond dust paint job! ;P #audir8v10
     Reply
    ArtForge was starred ArtForge was unstarred
    Image of ArtForge ArtForge
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Love me some top Gear but I won't take driving tips from a man who has to wear a grandfather clock as a wristwatch. That and the part where the supercar sticks to the track thing. Give me a 60k Atom, then we will talk about tracks and engineering. #audir8v10
     Reply
    ArtForge was starred ArtForge was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    There must always be a fast blue car, which resides in a little corner of heaven, in my mind. It isn't the realization of this dream which beckons; I could stretch and actually make it mine, with a small exercise of effort and intent. Rather, this car exists more as an icon in the pantheon of my desire. As such, it is better to leave the appetite unwhetted. Because to appreciate the psychic pull of this desire, is to be alive. Yes? #audir8v10
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Uncle Bo Uncle Bo
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Love it in blue. Would love it more if a blue ZR-1 drove up behind it and flashed its headlights. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Uncle Bo was starred Uncle Bo was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Perfection is over rated anyway. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Once there was an elephant,
    Who tried to use the telephant
    No! no! I mean an elephone
    Who tried to use the telephone
    (Dear me! I am not certain quite
    That even now I've got it right.)
    Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
    Entangled in the telephunk;
    The more he tried to get it free,
    The louder buzzed the telephee
    (I fear I'd better drop the song
    Of elephop and telephong!)

    So I read this when I was in 11th grade in a poetry jam, and broke out laughing uncontrollably, no doubt frightening the a classroom full of younger students and their teachers. There's no way my teacher can forget me. No way. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/17/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: You're unbelievable. I had to memorize something in school that I can't forget either. It was part of the "Ancient Mariner".

    And then there came both mist and snow.
    And it grew wondrous cold.
    And ice mast high came floating by, as green as emerald.
    And through the drifts the snowy cliffs did send their dismal sheen.
    Blah, blah, blah.

    I like your elephant poem better. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of Touched Touched
    11/17/09

    @skaycog: You sir have memorized part of a classic and wondrous poem.

    It may not fit well into a Jalopnik comment, but you can feel assured that poem will last the test of time when the elephant poem is long gone.

    As for me we had to memorize the opening lines of the Canterbury Tales (in Ye Olde English to boot). I can't even spell them close to correctly, so I won't attempt to reproduce them here, but rest assured I have found no use for them whatsoever. However, I am quite pleased that I can remember them word for word now many years later. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog promoted this comment Touched was starred Touched was unstarred
    Image of golferal - Now with no Segway! golferal - Now with no Segway!
    11/17/09

    @skaycog:
    There once was anold lady that lived in a shoe
    She had so many kids
    Her uterus fell out..

    -Andrew Dice Clay #audir8v10
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick promoted this comment golferal - Now with no Segway! was starred golferal - Now with no Segway! was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/17/09

    @Touched: You'll never forget it, even if you try. BTW, I'm not a sir. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of Touched Touched
    11/17/09

    @skaycog: Humble apologies.

    It is also worthwhile to re-read many of those old books from literature class. As an adult, I've found quite a bit of interest in several of the books which I could barely finish in my high school/college days. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Touched was starred Touched was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/17/09

    @Touched: No apologies needed....how were you to know?

    I wish I'd paid more attention to lots of things in school, now that I'm an adult. Oh well, no use looking back. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    11/17/09

    @skaycog: If you keep looking back, you end up tripping over your feet, on the way down the road to where ever you are going. #audir8v10
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/18/09

    @DoctorNine: Exactly! I guess that's why they call the past history. ;)
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Where is he? Klaas Zwart's summer home? #audir8v10
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of fstrthnu fstrthnu
    11/18/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: Ascari's track actually
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus promoted this comment Edited by fstrthnu at 11/18/09 12:06 AM fstrthnu was starred fstrthnu was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/18/09

    @fstrthnu: Ascari's track, which is owned by Klass Zwart as with Ascari itself.
     Reply
    Edited by Pessimippopotamus at 11/18/09 3:05 AM Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of fstrthnu fstrthnu
    11/18/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: ...and you have officially owned me.

    #tips
     Reply
    fstrthnu was starred fstrthnu was unstarred
    Image of fuchikoma fuchikoma
    10/20/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Looks about par for a Porsche to me. A lot like a Boxster. Then, aside from the Tapiro, I've never seen a Porsche that would turn my head if it drove by... #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    fuchikoma was starred fuchikoma was unstarred
    Image of brandegee brandegee
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Ugh. A 500-horsepower 5-door hatchback with a Porsche badge and spiritual ancestor in the 928 has no right to be this boring. But it is. It's dull. It's Jacksonville, Florida, on wheels. Beige on taupe on gray dull. Duller than a Cayenne V6. Duller than a metallic bronze Venza. Duller than Bob Costas. Duller than a Kia Amanti or page 565 of Obama's Waterloo.

    And yet I cannot ignore Porsche at its finest. Here is a finely welded appliance for a dentist whose blow-up spouse tires of taking flack from her real housewife friends for running over construction cones, Pomeranians, and Ecuadorian children with the family GL450. Here is the Juno Beach real estate developer's chariot, perfect for point-to-point condo showings without the social tax. Need a ride? America's off the high-fructose corn syrup, so slide your lean frame in. Mission accomplished. Sign the form. And the Panamera just bleeds German. It screams Mercedes with a touch of crazy. I'm ugly on purpose. It's a superiority statement with circles and arrows and a description on the back of every pricey tidbit.

    I look at this spiritual black hole and must remind myself that, sure, Porsche can dial in a GT3 for a few wingnuts and sell a couple of row-your-own Boxsters, but they ignore the dentists (and bank managers and attorneys and federal loan officers) at their peril.

    /Times Online, USA, excerpt #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    brandegee was starred brandegee was unstarred
    Image of loquaciousmusic loquaciousmusic
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    I think that, from the back, the Panamera looks sort of like an AMC Pacer. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    loquaciousmusic was starred loquaciousmusic was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    After the Cayenne/Froggy Face on Wheels, the Panamera is a thing of beauty. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of snapoversteer 'bout to get told snapoversteer 'bout to get told
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    I understand the temptation to rely on pop culture references in humor writing. They make useful shorthand, and assuming your audience is familiar with the subjects, they can be funny.

    But doesn't this seem a bit overboard? In five years, no one will be able to understand a full 20% of this article. Car and Driver drives me nuts on this issue also. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    snapoversteer 'bout to get told was starred snapoversteer 'bout to get told was unstarred
    Image of Jeb_Hoge Jeb_Hoge
    10/19/09

    @snapoversteer smells like: Hell, Clarkson's columns are always loaded with references to current events and British personalities that usually I've never even heard of. But that makes them more interesting to me, for some reason. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Jeb_Hoge was starred Jeb_Hoge was unstarred
    Image of dolo54 blows minds and blows engines! dolo54 blows minds and blows engines!
    10/19/09

    @snapoversteer smells like: I understand what you're saying, but seriously, where's the beef? You might think it's ginchy to be so critical, but that attitude's gonna go over like New Coke. If you want to be in like Flint you've got to get down with the program, can you dig it? Oh, and balloon boy. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    dolo54 blows minds and blows engines! was starred dolo54 blows minds and blows engines! was unstarred
    Image of skierpage skierpage
    10/20/09

    @snapoversteer smells like: Don't have a cow, man. 2014's cultural archaeologists will just set GoogleArchivist to pre-2010 searching of the Wayback Machine at the Internet Archive and have a fine time decoding cultural references. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    skierpage was starred skierpage was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Not everyone can have even one, let alone TWO, chins as beautiful as Clarksons... #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    10/19/09

    @Turboner: I meant to put an apostrophe in there somewhere. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    10/19/09

    @Turboner: Jay Leno begs to differ. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    10/19/09

    @pauljones: Yeah, but his American chins are coarse and devoid of soul and character. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of Syrax Syrax
    10/19/09

    @Turboner: Soul and character? Clarkson isn't Italian either. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred
    Image of quayzar quayzar
    10/19/09

    @Syrax: Yeah Clarkson's chin is British so it overheats on the A40.
     Reply
    Edited by quayzar at 10/19/09 3:47 PM quayzar was starred quayzar was unstarred
    Image of Jeb_Hoge Jeb_Hoge
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Against all reason, the Panera-merica has actually grown on me. I wouldn't take it over a Rapide or QP, but it doesn't offend my sensibilities and I'd prefer it over most flavors of BMW or Benz. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Jeb_Hoge was starred Jeb_Hoge was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    10/19/09

    @Jeb_Hoge: I have unashamedly loved it from Day One. And endured much abuse for same. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of snapoversteer 'bout to get told snapoversteer 'bout to get told
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    I'd buy one, but I'd be too worried that it would attack the cathedral and kidnap Esmeralda. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    snapoversteer 'bout to get told was starred snapoversteer 'bout to get told was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jalopnik account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.