That means that plenty of fairly solid 1970s Civics go straight to the boneyard as soon as a $300 problem crops up. I think it's a shame, because most of the Civic's competition back in the day (e.g., Corolla, Pinto, Colt) tended to be several notches below the Civic in the "fun to drive" category, and even Toyota felt a bit threatened by the Honda's reliability. I still recall feeling humiliated, 20 years ago, that my girlfriend's '73 Civic could eat up my '73 MGB-GT in every category from acceleration to braking to electrical-system quality (yeah, the last one is a fish-in-a-barrel deal). Here's one I spotted in a nearby self-service yard a few weeks back.

Is that 97,000 miles... or 397,000 miles? The interior was pretty decent, so I'm guessing the lower number is more likely.

Is it the beat-to-hell Civic covered with stickers and Citroën emblems? The fact that I own Project Car Hell Vehicle Numero Uno? Or the ex-parole-officer Crown Vic P71 with the big ol' cop-dazed-by-donuts telephone-pole dent in the door? Yes!

That number two contender is the Booby Prize Racing '96 Nissan 200SX, a car that the LeMons Supreme Court picked during the BS Inspection as the Under The Radar Candidate Most Likely To Contend. Looks like we guessed right this time!

In third we have the 1993 Honda Civic driven by Team "Corvette." No, we don't get the team name either.

Right behind the Honda is one of the top finishers from the last New England LeMons: the Scuderia Limoni Alfa Romeo Milano.

In fifth, we have another dominating New England veteran, the Scuderia Testa di Spillo Milano. Oh yes, two Milanos in the top five. Could this be the first-ever LeMons victory by an Italian car? Check in later to find out!

Any astute poll-watcher could have probably predicted this outcome by the resounding victory in the first round of Civic Kid Photoshop Contest voting, but now it's official, by sheer force of clever and talent, Old-timey Civic Kid wins. In the grand prize voting round, out of a total 930 votes registered at the time the polls closed at 12:00PM noon eastern standard time, it garnered a commanding 461 votes, a decisive 38% victory over nearest opponent, Back to the Future Civic Kid.

Congratulations Robert, and as promised you now have the right to the very last "I Am the Hoon Of The Day" t-shirt as well as your choice of Jezebel or Jalopnik beer pong balls. Shoot me an email at ben@jalopnik.com and let me know your commenter account name and if you don't have one, we'll award you a shiny new star along with getting your prize details all worked out.

Many thanks to all who submitted entries and good luck next time, and for those who might have missed it, click through in the gallery to view all 71 original entrants:

So here we are perched on the precipice of one of you commenters claiming victory. The polls will be open until Thursday at noon EST at which time we'll close down the voting and name the victor, awarding the grand prize of immortal glory and or a fancy commenter star if you don't have one, a set of your choice of either Jezebel or Jalopnik beer pong balls and the very last "I Am the Hoon Of The Day" t-shirts. So, with such rare prizes out there, all the voters need to anguish over their choice, really dig down deep into the artistic content of each image and compare it against other legendary works of imagination. That, or pick the one that makes you laugh. So get to it, and good luck to all the finalists.

Standard contest rules apply.

There will be two rounds of voting with all entrants in the first round competing directly against each other. Everybody gets a vote which they can apply to whatever Civic Kid they like. Then, when we close the polls Tuesday at noon, we'll pick out the top ten most popular and you can vote for your favorites out of the finalists. Keep in mind, we'll grant the overall winner immortal glory and or a fancy commenter star if you don't have one - also a set of your choice of either Jezebel or Jalopnik beer pong balls and the very last "I Am the Hoon Of The Day" t-shirts. Good luck, and may the Civic Kid be strong with you.

Click through for the entire gallery

Standard contest rules apply.

We've got 40 years of Honda ads here, from North America, Japan, and Israel. Civics that love leaded gas, 600s that force towns to resize all their parking spaces, and NSXs marketed with Honda nameplates. Just click on the thumbnail to head straight for the original post.
When you're done here, you might enjoy our favorite VW ads, then continue your car-advertising overdose with the Datsun, Toyota, Renault, General Motors, British Leyland, Ford/Lincoln/Mercury, and Chevrolet ads.

1984 City Turbo	1988 Cyber Sports CRX	1969 1300
1978 Civic	1978 Civic	1971 600
1994 VTEC	1991 NSX	2004 Civic
1988 Cyber Sports	1995 Civic	1986 CRX

Whereas the US doesn't even get a hatchback Civic anymore, the Brits now have a whole lineup of sweet little hatchbacks from Honda, now including the Si. The package can be had on all five-door models so if you want the 1.4 liter or 1.8 liter gas model, or the beefy 2.2-liter i-CTDi diesel, you can have it tarted up with Si bits. The package includes painted bumpers, fog lights, mesh front grille and dark chrome door handles and filler door on the outside and partial leather seating and an iPod connector inside.

Since an Integra has won in the past, a Honda victory isn't a particularly earth-shattering bit of news, but still quite an accomplishment. Not only did the Kielbasa Kids take the win, they did it by a massive 72-lap edge over the #2 car. Just goes to show that you don't need 300 (or even 100) horsepower to win this race! And, hey, would you believe that Alfa Romeo Milanos nailed down second, third, and fourth place? We'll have more photos for you later, as exhausted racers and officials get around to sending me their shots.
Image source: Ron Vickers

That's a photo from last year's New England race, in which the Kielbasa Kids came in a strong second place; as long as that head gasket holds out- always a big question mark with Honda products in LeMons events- they ought to be the team to beat.

But there's plenty of racing left; they'll be at it until 10:00 PM tonight, and the Buffalo Knuckles '86 Supra is already breathing down that Civic's neck. In third place is the Scuderia Limoni Alfa Romeo Milano (which finished third in '08), and the fifth-in-'08 Scuderia Testa di Spillo Milano is right behind it in fourth. The fifth-place Volvo 240 wagon run by Team Vermont Cow Tippers is no doubt making the Italians quite nervous- we're all familiar with the storied white-hot drama of world-class 240-versus-Milano competition- and there's just no telling what might happen next!

We can tell you what will happen next with the Index Of Effluency contenders, however. The Adopted By Jets '71 Saab 99 blew up early and often, and now sits in 49th place (out of 55), while its team tries to duct-tape it back into running condition; that's better than the Safari Taxi Peugeot 504, which has managed to climb to 50th place between lengthy wrenching sessions. The Craptation Chevy Citation X-11, which Assistant Perp Nick Pon describes as "hands down, one of the most horrible cars in LeMons history," clanked off the track with the driver unable to see past the clouds of toxic smoke pouring from the dash- didn't GM have a Citation recall over that issue, back in the day?- but the team is totally contending for the IOE with an intimidating 44th place. The Trailing Throttle Oversteer '63 Corvair has paid some visits to the Penalty Box, thanks to its Ralph Nader-enraging handling quirks, but has remained in good mechanical shape: 32nd place!

There's something to be said for just hopping in the 17-year-old, 180,000-mile daily driver and heading off on a 1,200-mile solo drive that crosses a challenging series of heavy-duty mountain passes. Starting with the 7,200-foot Donner Summit in California, the little D15 in my beater '92 Civic DX conquered endless passes in the 7,000-8,000 foot range, then slogged its way over the 10,000- and 11,000-foot passes just east west of Denver. It was definitely gasping for breath on some of the steeper grades (the non-VTEC D makes approximately zero horsepower below 3,500 RPM, even at sea level), but that's nothing that constant downshifting can't fix! I'll be sure to keep a lookout for good Mile High DOTSBE candidates while I'm here.

I had the same bullet camera I put in 24 Hours Of LeMons cars rigged up on the dashboard, and I'll try to edit some Loneliest Road highlights together once I've recovered from two days of driving (punctuated by an overnight stop at the Hotel Nevada in lovely Ely, where Pat Nixon once stayed). For now, here's a random bit of footage from my favorite highway in the world:

It's still unclear whether or not this is a full bore performance enhancement or a multi-faceted attempt at bringing some attention to the now aging Euro-spec Civic Type-R, but what we do know is that this seriously Mugen kitted 3-door will launch later this summer across the pond.

Currently the Euro-spec Civic Type-R features a 200 HP 2.0-liter i-VTEC inline four, but sources indicate the Type-R 3D may in fact receive the truly hardcore JDM Type-RR's 237 HP 2.0-liter. The addition of the Mugen-designed rear wing, side skirts, hood, rear bumper, exhaust, grille, front bumper, front fenders and gunmetal wheels certainly does spice up the space case Euro-spec Type-R, but will it be enough of an enhancement to compete with the newest hot hatches without the power boost. We'll have to wait and see. [via carscoop]

According to Evo, Mugen will share some of the JDM components with the UKDM 3-door Type-R sometime next year. While already a quick little front-wheel-drive monster, the addition of a 237 horsepower 2.0-liter iVTEC inline-four should help push the spaztic little guy even further. Rather than add a ton of go-fast bits, Mugen will remove the rear seating, sound deadening and a few other features, while adding revised, lower and stiffer suspension, potential Brembo brakes, 18-inch forged wheels and lightweight Recaro buckets. All this in the name of going fast.

What's the reason for all this hoopla you ask? Well it seems that the RenaultSport Megane R26.R is a bit faster around the Bedford Autodrome West Circuit than the UKDM Civic Type-R's 1min29.3sec lap. Sounds like a new battle for hottest hatch will rage on come next year when the UKDM Mugen Civic Type-RR reveals its purposeful self. Now if we could just get them to release these cars in the States. [via EVO]

One crazy Canadian has started what we're sure will be the next big modelmaking craze, with his 1:24 scale model of the Castor Civic-Ensis 5th-gen Honda Civic, which finished 34th at the 2008 24 Hours Of LeMons Detroit-ish race.

It's possible to get models of so many LeMons cars, from Camaros to Proteges… but why stop there? We're thinking LeMons dioramas here! It wouldn't be hard to change the Tamiya Rally Mechanics into LeMons Mechanics, simply by adding mullets and replacing all their tools with hammers and rolls of duct tape!

[24 Hours Of LeMons Forums]

That's right, it appears that the three SHOs that started the race have become one running SHO and a pair of parts cars, and they've got plenty of wrenchin' company in the pits. Yet some of the cars are holding together, and we saw an ever-shifting cast of top contenders today. When the first session ended at 6:30, the Dirty Some Beaches Honda Civic station wagon was on top. How? Well, any Civic that can keep its head gasket intact will get around the track pretty well, and the Dirty Some Beaches drivers know how to avoid the black flags; we have yet to see them in the Penalty Box. Adding drama to the standings, the #4 car (a Miata run by the same Texans who have been the People's Curse victims in both Houston races so far) started out with a 25-lap penalty and has managed to claw its way out of that hole, now closing to within just two laps of the leader. And what's the deal with that Grand Prix in the top ten? There's no telling how this will all shake out, but it should be 90 degrees and swampy in Belle Rose tomorrow, which means more thrown rods, more fried brakes, and more overall hoonage.

Hat Tip to Art! [via Banpei.net]

While a genuine Revell Deal's Wheels kit would be a lot of fun- you can't argue with the awesomeness of High Bloatation tires- the prices are pretty steep. Anyway, I've got my own full-sized Hell Project to deal with, no time for Model Car Hell. Well, that's what I thought until I found this 1:16 scale RHD first-gen Honda Civic kit on eBay last week. Not only is it a non-worshiped car in a weirdly large scale, it comes with a nicely detailed CVCC engine! No time to build model kits, uh-uh, no way, nohow, I told myself repeatedly… and somehow I refrained from buying it. Big mistake- some lucky bidder picked up The Coolest Model Kit Ever for under 30 bucks, and I'm kicking myself.
[eBay]

Said previous model was the second generation Honda Civic Type R codenamed EP3, a proper bunny slipper of an ultra-hot hatch. Its ridiculously unassuming 2650-pound body concealed a 2-liter VTEC engine good for 200 HP and redlined at a blenderworthy 8,600 RPM. But the good bits were found in the unpowered rear, which used a fully independent double wishbone suspension, making for spectacular handling.

The Slipper Civic was retired in 2005 to make way for the Spaceship Civic, possibly the greatest looking hatchback ever made. But when it debuted in Type R form, the smile sagged off everyone’s face. While the car put on 140 pounds, it retained the same engine—and adding insult to injury, it lost the double wishbones for cheaper torsion bars. Those who have driven it say it’s a letdown, even if the VTEC engine trumpets above 6,800 RPM with the exact same manic ferocity as before.

What to do then, what to do. Try this:

The Honda mothership, sneaky bastards that they are, developed another new Type R solely for domestic sale, called the FD2 (as opposed to the European FN2). It’s an altogether different car—for one, it’s a four door sedan, not a three door hatch. The engine makes 225 HP instead of the FN2’s puny 201. And it has the double wishbones in the rear, along with all sorts of bits and pieces trickled down from the NSX. The FD2 is a taut white menace, looking every bit the street racer it is.

As it’s Japan-only with right-hand drive, it’s best to get and use one in Britain. You can pick one up from Litchfield, a UK import specialist, for £23,000 ($33,000). And, of course, move to the UK to drive it.

Photo Credit: rumpleproofskin/Flickr (Mk.2 Type 2), nikosthemelis/Flickr (European Civic Type R) and the author (Japanese Civic Type R)