citations - Jalopnik

posts about #citations more →
Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

diskreet
01/23/09

In reply to Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles
Is it having a small penis, or being friendless, that makes you suck at driving?
Reply

diskreet was starred diskreet was unstarred

DoctorNine
01/23/09

@diskreet: Neither. It's the small furry mammals that friendless, small penised males carry in their front vest pockets, which tickle the driver when wiggling around, that make them bad drivers. Remember, accuracy and detail are what makes for good reportage.
Reply

DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred

LuciferV8
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
Death to tyranny!!!!!!!!!
Reply

LuciferV8 was starred LuciferV8 was unstarred

Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
01/23/09

In reply to Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles
Aside from the top slot, Toyota owns the most highly ticketed category, just the way GM owns the lest ticketed group. Didn't really see that distribution coming.
Reply

Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
Freedom's on the march, fellas! Now, let's go get the rest of them...
Reply

LuciferV8
01/23/09

@Van Sarockin: agreed.
Reply

LuciferV8 was starred LuciferV8 was unstarred

beercheck
01/23/09

In reply to Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles
Top-notch re-write, guys.
Reply

beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred

Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it
01/23/09

In reply to Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles
I think its just a szie thing. You notice where that hulk is parked a mile away.
Reply

Elhigh
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
A doubling of accident-related fatalities on the stretch of road with cameras? How do the two coincide?

And how much longer before somebody with a little resentment and a memorial bill sues the city council and the camera company?
Reply

Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

@Elhigh: They have those digital signs in Birmingham (and elsewhere in SE MI) that show you your speed. I wonder how many times they are used by hooners seeing how fast they can get going.
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

Joshuman
01/23/09

@engineerd: Where I live they are programmed to turn off if you go 10 mph above the posted limit. They do, I tested it.
Reply

Joshuman was starred Joshuman was unstarred

A strolling player
01/23/09

@joshman: The ones at the 45 mph zones on the I10 twinspans go up to 99, at least. I couldn't test for 100 because of traffic, but they only have two digits, anyway.

Yes, I drive a Prius.
Reply

A strolling player was starred

ImmortalSix
01/23/09

In reply to Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles
With the Outback, I think the Outback driver is too concerned with getting in the parking space as quickly as possible so they can turn their Earth-murderer (read: engine) off. I suppose that leads to a lot of poorly parked Outbacks. Could also be hard to park when you're high and have to worry about that damn canoe on top.

The Matrix is, in my experience, an "assertive female" car. These mystical creatures (the females, not the Matrixes) hate nothing more than to be characterized or generalized, so each of these drivers believe that their Matrix is the universe's sole "ironic" strong female Matrix.

Stay with me.

Strong females, while more capable than regular females in some ways, (drink beer at the bar, can take their own trash out) do not have superfemale driving skills.

If you were to tell one of them this, you would likely get a lecture about equality, or your phone number deleted, but it's true.

Anyways, the ability to parallel park is inversely proportional to the number of Ani DiFranco records you have --- everyone knows that. This makes strong women, men who wear tight jeans, and university professors under 45 terrible at parallel parking. All of these people drive Matrixes.

I'm glad we had this conversation
Reply

ImmortalSix was starred ImmortalSix was unstarred

DoctorNine
01/23/09

@ImmortalSix: This comment has the D9 Stamp of Approval

Reply

DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred

Chris P. Bacon
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
I've actually been nabbed by one of these things... but it was in the middle of winter and the roads were covered in slush so I ran the yellow to prevent being rear-ended... still havent recieved my ticket, but had a police officer been there he would have understood the judgement call.

+1 for Banning ticketing-Traffic Cameras
Reply

Chris P. Bacon was starred Chris P. Bacon was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

@Chris P. Bacon: I tried getting nabbed by one of these when I was in Germany. Stupid traffic was always in the wrong place at the wrong time. I would see the sign warning of a traffic camera and would try to speed up but there would be a jam and I couldn't get going fast enough to trip the camera. Or there just wasn't a camera there. It did give me something to do on my 45 minute commute each day.
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

mechimike
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
Unfortunately, (or fortunately) this just shows the primary motivation for thes cameras is revenue. While I support Capitalism, I firmly believe our government should be not-for-profit. It exists to make Capitalism possible, not the other way around.
Reply

mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

@mechimike: I agree.
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

c0de
01/23/09

@mechimike: i by no means support these cameras, but i must say, if the government is profiting, doesn't that mean a better life for you ? the money will be spent on it's citizens (and it's your job to get the right person responsible for spending that money in charge).
Reply

c0de was starred c0de was unstarred

PetroSapien
01/23/09

@mechimike: Don't worry, I know of no governmental body acting as a for-profit operation. They all, to my knowlege, operate at a deficit level.
Reply

PetroSapien was starred PetroSapien was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

@c0de: Only to a certain extent. When the government takes your money (through taxes, fines, etc.) they are removing capital that could be spent in the real economy. That is money that you could have spent somewhere else on a product you desire and supporting a business you want to support and giving that business capital to reinvest in itself, hire more employees, etc.

I support paying taxes for the things government should be providing (national defense, regulation of trade, and maintenance of infrastructure), but when they take more than that they are removing capital that the market would spend in other pursuits.

On top of all that, even when the government does turn around and try to inject capital back into the economy they are VERY inefficient at it. The government is a huge bureaucracy and has to pay itself first to keep itself alive. Also, monies injected back into the economy by the government suffer from the politics and partisanship that all of government is beholden to, so when the money is spent it is spent how the politicians see fit and not necessarily how the market would see fit.
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

beercheck
01/23/09

@c0de: Holy crap do you and I ever come from opposite ends of reality.
Reply

beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred

Timtoolman, sporadically speaking
01/23/09

@mechimike: A couple of years ago, there was talk of widening Hwy 316 that runs from I-85 in Duluth, GA to Athens (UGA). The roadway is overcongested, especially when Georgia plays at home, and needs ramps at the intersections in place of traffic lights. One group made an UNSOLICITED proposal to do all of the work for free, in exchange for charging a toll (of $10 each way the go the entire run). The ONLY reason for them to agree to do this work is if they expected huge profits from the new toll road.
Reply

mechimike
01/23/09

@engineerd: Beautifully put! A *heart* for thee!
Reply

mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred

mechimike
01/23/09

@timtoolman: There's a difference. A toll is willingly paid, and there is a contract between the two parties of monies exchanged for services rendered. Speeding tickets, on the other hand, are punative measures, fines levied against offenders for breaking laws. This is part of the justice system, and there is no way in HADES I want my justice system operating in a for-profit manner. , this is my reply to you, as well, @c0de:
Reply

mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred

mechimike
01/23/09

@PetroSapien: As a libertarian (small 'l') I find that just as offensive.
Reply

mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred

mechimike
01/23/09

@beercheck: Amen
Reply

mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

@mechimike: Aw shucks. *blush*
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

mechimike
01/23/09

@engineerd: I exemplify your screen name, too. I'm an ME.
Reply

mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

@mechimike: Sweet! My degree is in aerospace engineering, but functionally I am an ME.
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

A strolling player
01/23/09

@engineerd: I used to be aerospace, too, once upon a time.
Reply

A strolling player was starred

engineerd
01/23/09

@A strolling player can't find Waldo: It was a cool degree, just no jobs when I finally exited the halls of higher learning.

But it does kick ass being able to tell people, "Why, yes I am a rocket scientist."
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

mechimike
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
Cue the "Hallelujiah Chorus" from Handel's "Messiah".

"oh, kiss my you
stupid cameras.
Hallelujiah! What's it to ya?
And we shall be free
forever and ever!
Hallelujiah! Stick it to ya!
Reply

mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
I grew up in Riverside County and many years ago they announced that they would be using camera vans similar to these. As part of the deal they had to print the rules for what constituted a bona fide ticket in the newspapers. One of the rules was that in order to issue a ticket the camera had to have a clear shot of the front license plate, the driver's face, and the rear license plate (they could be on multiple photos).

So, my dad took our front license plates off. He figured the [unlikely] fine for getting a ticket for no front plate was better than getting nabbed by an inanimate object.
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

c0de
01/23/09

@engineerd: i salute your father.. but i would take it one step further, put a foreign front plate, preferably arabic or japanese, and always wear a ski mask.
Reply

c0de was starred c0de was unstarred

DoctorNine
01/23/09

@c0de: I always wear a ski mask too. Doesn't everybody? I mean, when you don't have to wear your tinfoil hat.

Of course.

Reply

DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred

engineerd
01/23/09

@DoctorNine: My ski mask is lined with tin foil. Safety First!
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

MushyHeirloom
01/23/09

@engineerd: Tint the shit out of it, too.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

c0de
01/23/09

In reply to Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program
bah.. no need for go through all that trouble.. just fill up the cameras with expanding foam !
Reply

c0de was starred c0de was unstarred

discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
01/23/09

@c0de: From what I hear, the better way is to cover them with plastic wrap, so that the photo is overexposed when the flash goes off.
Reply

MushyHeirloom
01/23/09

@discontinuuity: Or spray paint. Not that I'd know.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

beercheck
01/23/09

In reply to Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles
A study ran by some folks in the Midwest once, too, but they were too slow to catch it.
Reply

beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred

danio3834
01/23/09

In reply to Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles
I see according to those numbers, Toyota drivers are the biggest law breakers while GM drivers are the biggest law abiders.

I had no idea Toyota owners as a group were such badasses.
Reply

danio3834 was starred danio3834 was unstarred

mytdawg
01/23/09

@danio3834: They hide it well, don't fuck with them man...
Reply

mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#citations

Jalopnik

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik

Victory! Arizona County Ditches Speed Camera Program

Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment