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One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
HHRamino Makes Chevy HHR Seem Palatable

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curtisawa
09/03/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
I get what you are saying about replacing the Impala with the G8, but I'm pretty sure the Impala sells much better than the G8 ever did.
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MushyHeirloom
09/03/09

@curtisawa: That was because the G8 was sold as a sports sedan during a bad economy and the marketing for it was aimed squarely in the wrong direction.

Give it some softer springs and a Chevy nose and it'll rack up tenfold what it did as a Pontiac.
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tmp00
09/03/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
Isn't the ES Lexus' best selling car by leaps and bounds? If they're going to kill off all the snoozemobiles, they'll have only the IS..
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Mobius
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
"The American car you'd swear was built in China."

Ouch, I take that as an insult against my country's carmakers who at least try to make good looking cars.

Edit: Well, make or copy, but at least we base them on attractive-ish cars.
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Edited by Mobius at 09/02/09 9:27 PM Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

Maymar
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
The Impala isn't a shadow of its former self, it is its former self with FWD. Harry Dean Stanton would look very natural behind the wheel.
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ragtopdodge
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row

Sebring can actually look good dressed up:
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Mobius
09/02/09

@ragtopdodge: Oh god. Once is too much already.
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twinturbo2
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
I will never understand the hate for the PT Cruiser. My aunt has one and likes it.
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MadcowsDiseased
09/02/09

@twinturbo2: It's like 100 years old now. Chrysler doesn't know how to give it's products honorable deaths. Instead, it keeps them around long enough to go out of business.
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Mobius
09/02/09

@MadcowsDiseased: If it really was 100 years old, it might actually be worth something.

Although, that said, a 100-year-old Sebring can also be of value.

As a warning from history.
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Edited by Mobius at 09/02/09 9:28 PM Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

MushyHeirloom
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
The Impala above is still wearing hubcaps - hubcaps! - from 2000. That's what's truly saddening.

As for the Sebring, I learned this last night. And, even scarier, this!
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that ain't the way to have fun, son
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
I've seen a few Maybachs, all in Lost Wages, and none of the people driving them looked like they should be.

I'm actually surprised Mitsubishi still has a small pickup. I've not seen one, and even in TX, you'd likely have seen one...in a year's time.
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HoonThatFerrari
09/02/09

@I gotta job, I'm gonna pay the rent:

I saw a Maybach the other day, parked next to me at the grocery store, and the three thoughts I had, in order of synaptic appearance, were:

1.) Don't they have "people" to do these sort of things for them?
2.) Oh, this one has the curtains in the back (I've only seen one other - it was not curtain-equipped).
3.) Meh.
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veronykah
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
That Maybach looks like a Mercury.
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Novaload
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
Oddly, I say kill them all (but save the Impala name, of course) -- except I would argue for a pardon for the Sebring--there are so few drop-tops left. It was interesting back when it launched. I knew 3 nice people who had them and loved them (true, two of them were in Marketing, but let's not pre-judge).
We need a big convertible. Can I at least file for a last minute stay of execution?
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area_educator
09/02/09

@Novaload Is Just Plain Novaload Again: The first generation Sebring convertible was a pretty good car for 40 year old moms who thought they wanted a sports car.

Thought.

My mom had 2, loved 'em. I thought the ergonomics and visibility were shit, the engine made a lot of noise while achieving so little, and the handling would be moderately competent until it suddenly turned woefully inadequate.

I agree, though, that someone does need to offer a big drop-top. And I will point out that the Sebring did rear seat room very well for a convertible.
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SubcompactCulture
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
Isn't the Raider getting the axe anyway? I swore I just read that in one of the car mags.

I do think the Galant needs to be put out of its misery. However, so do a few of those Chryslers!

Chrysler: Now more cars on Jalopnik's "Needs To Die" list than any other manufacturer*.

*If you include the Mitsubishi Raider.
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MadcowsDiseased
09/02/09

@SubcompactCulture: A new Galant that doesn't suck could potentially be a good thing. And while they're at it, they can make the eclipse not suck, too.
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MushyHeirloom
09/02/09

@MadcowsDiseased: I was thinking about that the other day. The first three generations of Eclipse actually appealed to all sorts of people, from boy-racers to cougars. (I know two people who own third-generation Eclipses: a four-banger/stick base hardtop owned by the Oh Dear God Chopper Bicycle's welder, and a four-banger/auto GS or whatever it is that was my grandmother's, but was sold to my grandfather's forty-something secretary.) The current one is aimed solely at sorority girls, and not coincidentally, its sales have sunk compared to even the previous generation.

When sorority girls are smart enough to avoid something, watch out.
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Edited by MushyHeirloom at 09/02/09 10:46 PM MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

skulldriveshaft picasaweb and youtube
09/03/09

@FP: Your Volvo is awesome! Anyway: oberweight, plastic throughout, hell even the gas flap is plastic (in some sad weight saving failure).

Visibility be damned.

I've kept a 4g64 spyder in the garage for two years now, every time I take it out someone hits it (even though it's not moving) and then there's the deranged lunatics trying to steal it (the roof material is apparently slash proof) which leads to very expensive damage (because nobody is making parts anymore) add the incompetent repair personnel and facilities provided by the idiot sons of the the ONLY two Mitsubishi dealerships in town (same idiots own both locations, both trying to set the bar lower than the other), I don't think I will take it out this year either.

Damn it!
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bmoreDLJ
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
All that force lightning, and all he can do is remove the hood strakes?

Palpatine must be losing his touch.
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Mobius
09/02/09

@bmoreDLJ: It's because that car is just an appliance and as a result, does not respond to the Force which only affects living organisms.
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Miscellanea
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row

You forgot this:
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MadcowsDiseased
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row
I can certainly agree with the Impala (or any W-body), PT cruiser, HHR, and a 4-cylinder Galant - as I have plenty of rental car experiences with all those.

However, I'm going to come out and say it - though I will probably be banned from jalopnik for doing so - here it is: In base trim, the sebring is hardly any worse than the other domestics in the class. The interior materials in the chrysler are practically the same as those in the malibu (silver plastic, plasti-chrome, and that awful dashboard foam shit). Exterior styling comes down to personal preference, and I personally think the sebring was better looking than the previous-gen fusion. The platform it rides on is shared among many different vehicle brands (including mitsubishi, and hyundai), and in reality is not *that* bad - pretty comparable to many other cars in the segment - I prefer the ride quality over that of a new camry.

Now, I would never own one unless I practically got it for free, but it is ridiculous how it seems to be the butt of every car joke. I've been in many cars that not only did I think they were worse, but also more expensive. If you want to pick on the sebring, why don't you make fun of it's fat, ugly, partially-retarded brother instead; the Avenger.
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Dhillaz 2.0
09/02/09

In reply to One Car That Needs To Die... And Nine On Death Row

"Why not a Lancer-based El Camino sport truck?"

Photoshopping this was better than directing a porno.
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