First, let's get in the right frame of mind by listening to a song that captures the wholesome appeal of the SS396:




Well, maybe this car is a little more menacing than what those Wonder Bread-eating boys had in mind when they wrote that song. I talked to the owner's father, who verifies that it is indeed a genuine original 396 car and that it's currently in a "needs persuading to run" phase of its Hell Project lifecycle.


Back in the '69, this was a fairly expensive machine; the base Chevelle coupe could be had for $2,458, but the price tag on the go-fast options started to mount fast: if you wanted the 375-horse 396, you'd have to shell out $253- a 10% premium; the aluminum-head version cost a wallet-vacuuming $648.

Early emission-control equipment was pretty crude, so compression ratios had to come down, down, down to meet the new federal standards. 1973 was the first year of the Malaise Era (I made up the term, so I get to decide that stuff), and the 350 in this car was rated at either 145 horsepower (two-barrel carburetor) or 175 horsepower (Quadrajet). That hurts, but worse was in store.


3,580 pounds. That's the factory shipping weight of the V8 Chevelle for '73. That means the Chevelle scaled in at 45 pounds more than the weight of the V8-equipped two-door '66 Impala (and about the same as the projected weight for the 2010 Camaro). But you did get the colonnade roof in the Chevelle!


The big round taillights are vaguely reminiscent of the ones found on early-60s full-sized Chevrolets and Corvettes, yet very much of the Watergate era.

This car doesn't seem to move much, judging by the dusty windows, but it looks to be complete and fairly solid. I found it parked on the same block as the BMW 3.0 CSi, though I'm pretty sure they're not owned by the same person.


Most of these cars came with 194-cube sixes or 283 small-block V8s, though the options list included the 300-horse 327 (you had to wait for '66 to get a big-block Chevelle from the factory). This car has no 283 or 327 emblems, but there's no telling what's powering it these days; it might be on its 10th engine by this time.


The paint is faded from decades of California sun (and we can assume the interior is in similar shape) and the chrome is peeling off the bumpers, but it wouldn't take much to get this car looking sharp. And now, since polls are fun, let's vote on which street-parked Alameda GM A-body is our favorite so far.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

I took some pics of these 2 sweet lotuses and some other cool stuff in my area - Burnaby just outside vancouver BC .. There is a mazda eunos and 2 honda beats at that one guys house.. He must do some importing I guess.

When this car was made, "Malibu" was just an optional trim level available on the Chevelle; it didn't become a model in its own right until later on. The standard engine for '71 was the lackluster 307, though this car may well be on its 15th powerplant by now; small-block Chevy engines might as well have Velcro mounts, given how often they get swapped around.


This example drives every day and parks on one of the island's busier streets. It looks to be in pretty solid original condition.


Well, original except for the Camaro wheels, that is. The mix-n-match Chevy wheels game is fun for everyone!

Mothers' 1970 Chevelle "ProPane" to Debut at SEMA Show 2007

Thinking forward as well as "green," the ProPane's groundbreaking power is provided by a large-displacement Haigh Blocks small block motor with Propane Performance Industries fuel delivery managed with with a Link ECU. Any way you look at it, the Mothers ProPane is unlike any other hi-po Chevelle. Previewed earlier in the year with a developmental engine, the completed ProPane makes its world debut at the only place that seems fitting — the SEMA Show 2007.

Cars like this '69 Chevelle. Or maybe it's a Malibu. In any case, you could time-travel this thing back to '82 and it would fit right in on Alameda's streets (and the APD would have the owner eating hood as they searched him for dope, a ritual that the primered-A-body owner could count on experiencing at least once a week in those days).


This Chevelle looks pretty mean, all right. It's sad that most of the ones you see these days are all shiny and sanitary.


The 307 emblem would have caused some real confusion in the minds of other musclecar owners back in the day. Does the car really have a 454, with the emblems just serving as a ruse to sucker small-block-equipped Barracuda drivers into an ill-advised wager? Or does it actually have the sucky 307... but then why would you leave the emblems on while making the rest of the car look so evil? Aaaagghhh!


It's got the aftermarket steering wheel and B&M Megashifter, plus the optional boxer shorts and graduation tassel. And Malibu emblems on the door panels... but the other door doen't have one, if I recall correctly. Feel free to debate the Chevelle-versus-Malibu issue, hair-splitters. Actually, this may not even be a '69, what with the junkyard mix-n-match thing so prevalent on these cars.


I'm totally hearing Montrose when I look at this shot.


Strangely, GM didn't actually issue these cars with Centerlines, though it sure seemed like that for a big chunk of the 70s and 80s. Bonus points for having them on the rears only, just like the Evil Kingswood Estate wagon that lives a few blocks away.

So now I'm going to try a new variation on the gallery thing; all the small images will be in the gallery, plus some extras. We'll sort this out eventually.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Of course it's got the small-blockiest of small-blocks, the good ol' 350 (which means the original buyer didn't cheap out and get the standard 307 or the cheapskate six, though he or she also passed on the 400 and the big-blocks). Well, actually, only the owner knows what it actually has under the hood by now, what with the mix-and-match nature of Chevy A-Bodies and small-block engines. Hell, maybe the owner doesn't even know.

This particular El Camino is fairly rough, but it's been spared the horrific rust that assails these cars in the salty-roads regions of the country.

It's a bit odd seeing a semi-wretched-looking El Camino that doesn't have any broken household appliances, cylinder heads, or 40-dog bottles in the bed. Maybe the owner just cleaned it out.

However, the bed does feature what appears to be a healthy coating of bathtub caulk on some of the seams.

Looks just like a Chevelle from this angle, don't she?

It would be nice to set up a drag race between this car and the Evil '69 Ranchero that lives a half-dozen blocks away. Might not be a fair race, though, since the Ranchero has a 4-speed and looks suspiciously like it's got Enhanced Meanness under the hood.

It's a bit sad looking at this car/truck, knowing what we do about the less-attractive designs and low-power engines that afflicted the '73 and later El Caminos. Perhaps a shipment of Holden utes would cheer us up, GM!

So-Cal Speed Shop 1966 Chevrolet Chevelle LS7 - Devine Intervention [Hot Rod]

Related:
The Summer School Chevelle [Internal]

Even though it wasn't quite as badass as the 454 Chevelle you could get the following year, the name "SS 396" just sounded mean. In any case, the '69 Chevelle SS 396 certainly held its own in the badass department. While most of them went out in blazing feats of Pabst-enhanced hoontastic glory over the years, you still see a fair number of these cars around (sadly, more and more are seen only in car shows; it's been years since we saw a Chevelle doing a gnarly burnout in a convenience-store parking lot). But never mind the car version; what you really wanted back then was the Chevelle wagon with 396 and 4-speed. Oh yes, you could get that setup in a wagon! – Murilee Martin

Related:
69 In A Wide-Track Pontiac [internal]

Yes friends, we're here to talk muscle cars. We absolutely need a ride (or two) for the porterhouse steak and french fry set. But as you know, we've got just 50 spots in our +10 Garage of Fantasy, so we need to choose with care. First we have to eliminate some contenders. So let's pick a year. 1970 seems like a nice round number. More than being round though, 1970 was the apex of not only muscle cars themselves, but of the muscle car era. Gas was $0.36 per gallon. 40,000 troops are to be pulled out of Vietnam, and an entire week went by without any dead American soldiers. Men are still golfing on the moon while Gary Gabelich drives the Blue Flame (in a very muscle car-like straight line) to a top speed of 1,014 kph. But life in the US had its downsides, too. The National Guard opened fire at Kent State killing four students. Police opened fire at Jackson State killing two. The Beatles called it quits and Elvis went back on tour. There has to be a single, burly car that encapsulates all that triumph and tumult.

1970 will always be very special for muscle car fans as it was the glorious year when GM decided to lift their self-imposed embargo mandating 400 cid as the biggest engine that could be shoehorned into a mid-size car. It also happens to be the year that saw the peak in gross horsepower for American muscle. Look at any engine-power timeline graph; thanks to emissions restrictions and OPEC it was all downhill from there. And finally, to further narrow our Fantasy Garage choices: for every lunkhead who has scoffed at my WRX because, "There's no replacement for displacement," we're eliminating all MOPARS and Fords. And the AMC Javelin, too. They are just not big enough. Look, we won't be kicking any R/T Charger 440 Magnum Six-Packs out of bed, but you got to draw lines somewhere, man. You got to draw lines. And that leaves us with these four big-blocked bastards from the General.

Buick GSX

In order to match their customers' shirts/cocaine preference, the GSX was only available in "Apollo White" or "Saturn Yellow." Whichever you chose, it came with big black stripes across the hood. There you will also find a pilfered-from-Pontiac tachometer, one of our favorite options ever. Seriously — screw heads up displays, just bolt the instruments right to the bonnet. Especially the clock. Still a brilliant piece of kit nearly four-decades on. Oh, and the car itself was quite the beefcake, too.

Coming correct with a gigantic 455 cid V8 and a Hurst four-speed, the GSX had all the grunt any self-respecting son of the seventies needed. Power figures are elusive and confusing. Officially, the factory quoted 360hp @ 4,2000rpm. No doubt this was true, but what did the mill stonk at say 5,2000rpm? At least 400 horses, if not a bit more (415 to 425 hp). GM fudged the numbers because insurance companies at the time were charging huge draconian penalties premiums based on horsepower. The corporate wink, wink saved customers from insurance payments bigger than their car payments. Luckily insurance companies didn't care about torque, as it is hard to hide 510lbs. ft. of the good stuff at a 2,8000rpm.

The GSX had a load of other performance tweaks besides the monster motivator. They included hotter cams, bigger valves (which really made the power difference in the higher rev range), a Positrac diff, beefier springs and a revised jetting for the carburetor. The transmissions (both stick and auto) were improved, too. Even better, Buick's big 455 V8 was designed smart, so the engine weighed 150lbs. less than its GM stable mates's. Though worrying about weight with this gang of four is like deriving Kirsten Dunst's IQ. Why bother?

All that twist and go-go fury made Motor Trend proclaim that the 455 GS Stage 1 is "the quickest American production car we've ever tested." Though as their quarter mile time of 13.38 is half a second faster than any other mag could muster and their zero to 60 time of 5.5 seconds is essentially unbelievable, MT was probably testing a ringer. Which was a very popular GM ploy at the time — see here. Still, 13.8 through the traps and 6.4 or so to 60 is nothing to turn your jaded 20067 noses up at. You try it on bias-plys.

But more than performance (and sound) we simply love the way the Buick GSX looks. In Saturn Yellow, of course.

Chevrolet Chevelle 454 SS

Like every other car here, 1970 saw the first time an engine larger than 400 cid went into a mid-sized Chevy. Long story short, the LS6 engine in the SS had higher compression (11.25:1) than the standard LS5 454, giving the top Chevelle the highest factory horsepower rating of any muscle car. 450 big block horses and 500 pounds of twist, numbers not beaten by a factory Chevrolet until the C6 Z06 (though the L88 Corvette pumped out somewhere in the neighborhood of 550 hp, the factory only claimed 430). Which is an impressive amount in 2007 and was quite literally earth-shaking in 1970. Car Craft got the SS through the quarter-mile in 13.12 seconds @ 107 mph. Other than all the pricks at my high school driving Chevelles, I can't think of much else to add. So let's just fanaticize about a red one with black stripes. Mmmm... muscle-y.

Oldsmobile 442 W-30


The Olds 442 started life in 1964 as a quick reaction to the runaway and unexpected success of John Z Delorean's tempest in a Tempest GTO. The technical name for the $285 option package on the Cutlass was the "B09 Police Apprehender" though no one ever called it anything but 4-4-2. The moniker stood for 4-barrell carb, 4-speeds and 2 tailpipes. And while the 442 started out life in 1964 with a relatively small 330 cubic inch motor, by 1970 Olds had super-sized the engine to a very satisfying 455 cid.

Officially the largest V8 Oldsmobile ever shoehorned into a car produced 365 hp. Obviously that's not enough so an option package was created - called W-30 - that offered up 5 more horses. In reality of course, both engines generated in excess of 400 muscular horses with the W-30 mill probably hitting 420 before valve-float became an issue. Torque? An even 500 ft. pounds of screw you, stump.

Of course the W-30 option was the only way to go. Aside from the 5 horsepower - achieved through a blueprinted engine, an upgraded cam, unrestricted exhausts and forced air-induction via the functional hood scoops - W-30 gave you a weight saving fiberglass hood and plastic inner-fenders, an aluminum pumpkin and less sound deadening material.

This added muscle and lightness made the 442 W-30 good for a 0-60 sprint of 5.7 seconds and 14.2 in the quarter-mile @ 100 mph. Interesting to me, those numbers are essentially identical to a modern WRX. Though the 442 is moving faster at the end of a quarter-mile. So, the performance is adequate for today and pretty damn special back in the year your father was chasing courting your mother. 1971 saw shorter connecting rods and reduced power. We'll take our Fantasy 1970 442 W-30 in blue with white stripes. And you know what? We'll take the convertible.

Pontiac GTO 455 Judge


And finally we get to the Judge, also known as "the Humbler." If names were all that mattered, the Judge wins this one in a walk. Besides Roadmaster, I dare you to think of a better car-moniker than the Judge. Sure beats the hell out of G6. But we'll save our "Why all modern cars have stupid names" rant for another day. We're here to talk Pontiac. And in truth, to us, the Judge is the quintessential muscle car. For not only did it have the displacement (455 cubic inches), the looks (Orbit Orange, Endura nose, fender creases, hood tach) and the lineage (it's a GTO - 'nuff said), the Judge nailed the zeitgeist of not only the muscle car craze, but of first-term Nixon America.

And since muscle cars really can be boiled down to their engines, let's examine what motivated the Judge. In truth, most Judges sold came with the Ram Air III 400 cid mill. Though for a few dollars more you could get the Ram Air IV option which boosted power to 370 horses. The 455 wasn't available on the Judge until the last quarter of 1970 and is therefore quite rare. True, the 400 cubic incher made a little bit more power than the bigger engine (4 to 10 hp, depending on who you believe), the 455 had it where it really counted - 500lbs. ft. of torque. And if you think the 455 V8 actually put out just 360 hp, I have a six-figure Countach-bodied Fiero to sell you.

And let us stress how rare these uber-Judges are. Fourteen shift-it-yourself hardtops were made, and just three convertibles, all automatics. Still not convinced? A 1970 Orbit Orange 455 Judge was the car bad guy Warren Oates drove in Two-Lane Blacktop. Case closed, your honor. – Jonny Lieberman

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

[The Jalopnik Fantasy Garage appears every Tuesday. Readers vote the cars in or out. The idea is that we'll have 50 cars in our fantasy garage, the world's greatest mechanic and endless wads of cash. If you would like to nominate a car for our Fantasy Garage, email tips@jalopnik.com with the subject line "fantasy garage."]

Jalopnik Fantasy Garage, So Far:
RUF RT12
Maserati Quattroporte Executive GT
1978 Aston Martin V8 Vantage
Honda 1300 Coupe 9
1931 Daimler Double Six 50 Corsica Drophead Coupe
Ferrari 288 GTO
Volkswagen Phaeton W12

Related:
Jalopnik Fantasy Garage: Volkswagen Phaeton W12 | We'll Give You Eight Bucks: 18K Dodge Dart [Internal]

"...is from GM's Rear Wheel Drive Performance Studio. Plus, the roof of the Volt is chopped. It appears with this mystery Chevy the roof has more of an arch near the c-pillar...Anyway, the grille appears to be larger on this Chevy, plus it looks like the Malibu. Malibu coupe = Chevelle."

[Camaro In Clay Close-Up]

Chevelle Spotted? Mystery RWD Chevy Coupe Spotted In GM Released Photo [The GM Source]

Related:
My Name Is Josh Oliver [internal]

When people consider the 707 area code (if they think of it at all), gentle, rolling hills covered in grape vines come to mind. Or the hip-hop of E-40 and his crew (although Fowty sold out his area code and moved to the 925). Often neglected is the serious redneck quotient in the North Bay. And what's more seriously redneck than mounting a GTO front clip on a lifted El Camino? How about being too lazy to even go that far and just dropping a Chevelle coupe body on top of K-5 Blazer running gear. Also features something called a "way cool," but we're not sure what it is; the seller has it listed between the "35x14.50 x 15 tsl thornebird tires" and the "power steering." He will trade it to you for a Buell. [Thanks to Alex for the tip.]

67 chevell 4x4 monster car [craigslist]

Run For Your Lives! It's El Goatamino! [Internal]

Related:
More Woodward Cruising [internal]

Reader James hipped us to this post from the bountiful bosom of the Dallas-area craigslist. It's a '70 Triumph GT body fused to a shortened Chevelle chassis. We're not quite sure what the whole purpose of this excercise was, but since it's only $200 bucks, the money you saved by not buying a sensible car could go into a blown-alcohol 454, making this disturbing vehicle perfect for taking on the Main Force Police.

1970 Triumph GT FrankenCar - $200 [craigslist]

Who Needs an FXX When You Can Have a Pinto? [Internal]

Our top-secret man at Barrett-Jackson notes the high-profile sale, last night, of a 1970 Chevy Chevelle LS6 — an awesomely fast and even more awesomely rare 454-powered droptop.

Ray Allen's 1970 LS6 Chevelle SS drag car, in which Allen never lost a race in 1970 and had only 61 miles clocked, just took $1.15 million before bidders fees. $1.15 million. Guess the muscle car craze is still alive and well. I can't wait to see what the Hemi Cuda convertible gets.

Ray Allen Chevelle [Barrett-Jackson]

Related:
More from Barrett-Jackson [internal]