Jalopnik 
Enter your username and password.
Detroit, 8:32 AM
Tue Dec 1
28 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM
Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email
Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email
Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree
Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla
Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli
Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
10/02/09
For just about everything. Everyone should be taken out back and shot, right now.
09/30/09
On that note, I was once driving an older Venture shuttle van that got a bout of the unintended acceleration (because in a Venture, all acceleration is unintentional) from a stuck throttle cable or something. It was actually kind of amusing, in that I idled all the way back to work, at about 40mph.
09/30/09
09/30/09
"Headed to a head on collision" - "Pray" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
"Did praying work?" - "If yes, praise him" "If no keep praying harder" -
09/30/09
10/01/09
I'm all about fractionaltheism. I believe in about 4/5 of a god. The pronouns are really a pain in the but.
Closer to 87%, actually. e/pi, interestingly.
09/30/09
10/01/09
09/30/09
Is there a control/alt/delete option? That would be faster.
Also, shouldn't the toes in #6 be tightly clenched? Otherwise, you're not really trying to stop the car that sincerely.
09/30/09
09/30/09
10/01/09
09/30/09
Brand new car - but the hooks are missing.. you can clearly see where the hooks would go, but they're not there. I informed Charles Barker Lexus that it's a safety issue, blah blah - to no avail.
So.. on a 2 weeks old vehicle that cost a good chunk of money, they had the audacity to make my folks fork over $12 for the damn hooks!
Of course, this is the dealership that used to tack a $15 "service fee" to all warranty work - and they claimed that it was to cover topping off fluids, etc. Wtf is the wiper fluid made out of...unicorn urine?
Needless to say, their next car was a German.
09/30/09
Do nothing. No, I don't want to. Give me something to do!
Is your car a Toyota or Lexus...? I said no! Dammit, there is no choice, I guess I do have Toyota...
This flow chart is only going to lead to the loss of drivers side floor mats in countless other makes.
09/30/09
I'm going to hell in 5...4...3...2...1...
09/30/09
"Hello, my name is Charon - and yours is...?"
09/30/09
09/30/09
Carlotta Bush: Mr. Bond, please detach the floormat. James, please slow down. James, oh James, you're scaring me! I'll do ANYTHING if you remove the floormat. Oh, oh oh!
09/30/09
09/30/09
09/30/09
09/30/09
09/30/09
I'm vaguely dumbfounded by this whole thing.
09/30/09
09/30/09
That wasn't near as annoying as when the starter hangs up and keeps going with the switch off and key out of the ignition.
09/30/09
09/30/09
Seriously, where do people learn to drive nowadays that they don't know what to do in a situation like this? Ye gads, in driver's ed we weren't allowed to put the key in the ignition until we learned some basic driving survival skills. It's like modern fairy tales I guess. It's too scary to mention DEATH or DISMEMBERMENT, so they gloss over such things. In this happy-go-lucky world, brakes never fail, stinging insects never fly in open windows, and lugnuts are always secure.
But then again, maybe that was because my high school's drivers ed car was 20 years old and held together with hope and a prayer.
09/30/09
09/30/09