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Detroit, 9:22 AM
Tue Dec 1
28 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #carnage more →

    Happy Easter!

    2009 Sno*Drift Rally: Bring The Pain

    Danger! Moose Obliterates Lumina

    BMW 320D Touring Turns Fox Into Hamburger (Not Safe For Weak Stomach)
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    Microwave those motherfuckers.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of junkman junkman
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    As an Orthodox Christian, I will be celebrating Easter (Pascha)this coming Sunday. Today will be dedicated to buying half-price Peeps and other treats to enjoy that day. Ray, you're welcome to join us in the gluttony after a long period of deprival.
     Reply
    junkman was starred junkman was unstarred
    Image of skrappykat skrappykat
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    You mean they don't make Passover Peeps with cane sugar? I see an opportunity here Peep peeps.
     Reply
    skrappykat was starred skrappykat was unstarred
    Image of top-dead-center top-dead-center
    04/13/09

    @skrappykat: No, but the full selection of Kosher-for-Passover candy and sugared stuff is *mind-boggling*. And some of it is scary..."chocolate coated fruit gel rings" are particularly weird...
     Reply
    top-dead-center was starred top-dead-center was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/13/09

    @top-dead-center: Those go around your cock, right?


    No?


    Heh... heh. Carry on, then. I'll be going now.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Six Flags Over Tomsk Six Flags Over Tomsk
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    Some gangstas roll with their peeps.


    Roy-Roy Wertzizzle rolls over his peeps.

     Reply
    Six Flags Over Tomsk was starred Six Flags Over Tomsk was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    My peeps fight to the death in a micro wave.
     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of Andrew Didorosi Andrew Didorosi
    04/13/09

    @TexanIdiot25- we're boned....: So that makes them monster fighting peeps.
     Reply
    Andrew Didorosi was starred Andrew Didorosi was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    I hope everyone had a good Easter, and microwaved many Peeps.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    04/13/09

    @Lord Pferdestärke the 357th: I didn't leave the house... so, uh, mission accomplished.
     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    Roy Wort is Jewish? I think the number of jokes at his expense just increased exponentially.
     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    04/13/09

    @FromaBuick6: You have fun with that. I wouldn't touch that topic with a ten foot pole.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    04/13/09

    @FromaBuick6: Of course he is! His birth name is Raymond Wertokowitzckiberg.


    Nø, realli! [jalopnik.com]

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    04/13/09

    @pauljones: Eh, I've got nothing. I'm merely opening the can of worms.


    This is what happens when you kill Peeps, Ray. Just think how pissed the Easter Bunny is gonna be...

     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of bygeorge bygeorge
    04/13/09

    @pauljones: If they had a ten foot Pole, a Brandeis University might make it to the Final Four...


    /rimshot


    ...of cource, after circumcision, the Pole was only 9 1/2...


    /rimshot


    Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, i'll be playing the lounge all week...


    Seriously, Ray, you have to update us Midwestern Protestants on the dietary laws of the Hebrews; it has been too long since we covered Leviticus in Sunday School.


    Pigs and shellfish I get, but no corn syrup during Passover? Explain, please...

     Reply
    bygeorge was starred bygeorge was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    04/13/09

    @bygeorge: Even Coke goes Kosher at Passover and replaces high fructose corn syrup with real sugar.


    And you also have to leave a mashed peep on your doorstep, if you know what's good for you.

     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    04/13/09

    @Novaload Misses Murilee: Do they really? If that's the case, we should all stock up now - HFCS FTMFL
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    04/13/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    Chick Peeps > Bunny Peeps.
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    04/12/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    I hereby issue a Jalop challenge.


    What car is that?


    I am sad I can't figure out what it is, or even read the size of the tires.


    The winner gets a nice shiny Megan Fox.

     Reply
    Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    04/13/09

    @Pleco, king of the junkyard: No way.


    There isn't enough evidence to so much as identify the tires. And even if someone could magically pull a Holmes-esque display of deductive reasoning, there is no way to prove it.


    Can I still have a shiny new Megan Fox anyways?

     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    04/13/09

    @Pleco, king of the junkyard: I'll still take the non-shiny Megan Fox. Can I trade her for Rachel Nichols afterwards?
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of Pew Pew BOOM Pew Pew BOOM
    04/12/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    Is this a screen grab from the new Quentin Tarantino movie, ?
     Reply
    Pew Pew BOOM was starred Pew Pew BOOM was unstarred
    Image of MechE Hokie MechE Hokie
    04/12/09

    @I have a cat that can beat me up: [www.washingtonpost.com]


    there are some great movie scenes re-enacted with peeps at that address. It's well worth the trip to the website. However, I'm a big ball of HTML fail, so you'll have to copy and paste the link in yourself.

     Reply
    MechE Hokie was starred MechE Hokie was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    04/13/09

    @MechE Hokie: Yeah...


    They have Senator Craig at the airport Peep scene...


    Some people scare me.

     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of anthony6151 anthony6151
    04/12/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    Those are some nice tires
     Reply
    anthony6151 was starred anthony6151 was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    04/12/09

    @anthony6151:


    Very nice tread pattern, as evidenced on the body of the unfortunate Peep underneath it.

     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    04/12/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    I hate those things. They are disgusting. I have three packages of them given to me by my grandmother. They're all yours, Ray.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    04/12/09

    @pauljones: I am glad to see I am not alone in my dislike of Peeps and peep-derived "candies".


    Though, I will admit, they are great fun to put in the microwave. They get HUGE!

     Reply
    Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    04/13/09

    @Pleco, king of the junkyard: I must try that.


    Previously we used to light them on fire and throw them into the neighbor's pool in revenge for his always having a good laugh on us by playing pranks on us neighborhood kids. His name was Cliff, and he was the coolest old dude in the history of ever.


    Sadly, he passed away eight years ago, and so there are no more annual flaming bunny bombing raids.

     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    04/13/09

    @pauljones: I like burning them and watching them catch fire by their sugary coats while their squishy innards ooze out the cracks.
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of dead_elvis dead_elvis
    04/13/09

    @pauljones: and they pretty much last forever, no? I bet we could find some vintage Peeps for Ray on eBay or someplace.
     Reply
    dead_elvis was starred dead_elvis was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    04/13/09

    @Pessimippopotamus is at 0% productivity: Me too.


    Something tells me we are all desperately in need of counseling. :p

     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    04/13/09

    @pauljones: Then I eat them.


    Something tells me I am more desperately in need of counseling.

     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    04/13/09

    @dead_elvis: Vintage Peeps?


    You know, the sad thing is that someone, somewhere probably has a collection of them.

     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    04/13/09

    @pauljones: While that's probably still true, we're the very picture of sanity compared to these guys:


    [www.i-mockery.com]

    (Somebody needs to track down that bus for Roy)


    [www.i-mockery.com]

    (A quick ebay search turned up nothing)


    [crosses fingers hoping Hamsters are working]

     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    04/13/09

    @something_unique_and_descripti...:


    This should be enough to justify wiping them off from the potential gene pool.

     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    04/13/09

    @Pessimippopotamus is at 0% productivity: And the scary thing is, that's not even the most disturbing thing on that site.


    Check out the "Extreme Beverage Tasters" series and their reviews of other toys.


    I've got to give them credit for "The Church of Mockery" though




    (please work)


    [www.i-mockery.com]

     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    04/13/09

    @something_unique_and_descripti...: Gahhhh! Preview damnit!


     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of dead_elvis dead_elvis
    04/12/09

    In reply to Happy Easter!
    Does anyone really eat those things?
     Reply
    dead_elvis was starred dead_elvis was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
    04/13/09

    @dead_elvis: No, they eat you. Just look how callus and evil their eyes are as they watch their brother being crushed to death.
     Reply
    discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was starred discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was unstarred
    Image of Uncle Bo Uncle Bo
    04/13/09

    @dead_elvis:


    I used to work for a guy who not only loved Peeps, but loved to eat them stale. He'd get several packages, tear open the wrapper and let them sit out for weeks. Once they were "crunchy" on the outside, he'd eat them.

     Reply
    Uncle Bo was starred Uncle Bo was unstarred
    Image of Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp
    04/13/09

    @Uncle Bo, runnin' shine down Hwy. 9: I think everybody who does eat them, lets them get good and stale.
     Reply
    Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was starred Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was unstarred
    Image of horspowr1001 horspowr1001
    02/03/09

    In reply to 2009 Sno*Drift Rally: Bring The Pain
    Any photographically inclined people: Any ideas as to how to he got that nighttime action shot of the WRX so cleanly?


    It seems to me like that flash opposite the camera may have been a wireless flash, but other than that I'm dumbfounded.

     Reply
    horspowr1001 was starred horspowr1001 was unstarred
    Image of Andrew Didorosi Andrew Didorosi
    02/03/09

    @horspowr1001: Timing. The shutter on the Nikon D90 I'm using was set to Captain Insano mode and captured tens of images for each car.


    The flash opposite the car was just lucky timing with an ally of mine. We'll have plenty of more nightwork for you in a bit.

     Reply
    Andrew Didorosi was starred Andrew Didorosi was unstarred
    Image of Ken Gauld Ken Gauld
    02/03/09

    In reply to 2009 Sno*Drift Rally: Bring The Pain
    Your coverage of Rally America events just made Jalopnik that much cooler!! The time to post about Lake Superior took a while (event in Oct, posted in Jan) but Sno*Drift was immediate.
     Reply
    Ken Gauld was starred Ken Gauld was unstarred
    Image of Andrew Didorosi Andrew Didorosi
    02/03/09

    @Ken Gauld: We wanted to save that morsel of motorsports goodness that was LSPR until just before Sno*Drift so we could roll right into the next.


    If my tenacity persists, we just might make every rally from here on out.

     Reply
    Andrew Didorosi was starred Andrew Didorosi was unstarred
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