When you tell someone you're going to bring home an endurance race, you'd better do it, especially if those you've promised it to gave you a bunch of money.

It's official. Bank of America is a big, evil corporation.

If you ever decide to steal a car, you might want to make sure its owner can't trap you inside with the click of a button. You should also probably be sober and wearing a shirt.

Here's what Joe Sixpack does when his work van gets tagged by the parking police. He pleads his case with the nice lady with the ticket book, and then his co-worker whips out a metal saw and saws the damn thing down.

Amidst a bad breakup, a 22-year-old woman got drunk, stole a school bus and planned to drive it 3,000 miles to California. In Hollywood that would have been the plot of a feel-good date movie.

There's no accounting for some car burglars' fetishes. Take an 18-year-old man, who police in New Jersey say burglarized and ransacked a car, and then defecated in the back seat. And he may soon be on the hook for two other, similar incidents.

Flavor Flav and driving go together like Donald Trump and a headwind. Last week, Flav was arrested in Las Vegas for several misdemeanor traffic warrants. A year ago, it was a two-car accident there. C'mon, suckers to the side, already.