What Chinese Carmakers Can Learn From Dumb Starbucks

Right around the corner from my house, Dumb Starbucks opened up. And it's practically all I've heard about all weekend. This was a bit alarming to me, as I'm accustomed to being the subject whenever "dumb" was discussed in my neighborhood. Like most people, I think there's a lesson here for Chinese carmakers. » 2/10/14 4:20pm 2/10/14 4:20pm

When Oldsmobile Claimed To Be Better Than God

Sure, God, you did pretty well with most of that nature stuff you made — flowers are sure pretty and, man, are anchovies tasty. But let's be honest here, you made some pretty big screw-ups as well. Like putting brains, of all things, inside horse skulls. What were you thinking, Almighty? Oldsmobile would like to know. » 9/19/13 5:30pm 9/19/13 5:30pm

Holy Crap, Volvo Once Published Children's Books?

Just when you think you've exhausted every possible bizarre story about cars, another one comes skidding out of nowhere and crashes right into your ass. This time it's about two things that I'm not sure I ever thought about simultaneously before: children's literature and Swedish cars. » 9/17/13 10:04am 9/17/13 10:04am

Why Do Car Ads Show Car Salesmen As Subhuman Slaves?

There's something strange going on in car advertising. Something I don't believe we've seen before. It's a recent trend in car advertising to portray car salesmen as weak-willed, easily cowed, broken men, and customers as gleeful, sadistic exploiters of other people's fear. The more you think about it, the stranger it… » 8/15/13 4:00pm 8/15/13 4:00pm

Just Look At These Lovely Illustrations From a 1968 Ad For Car…

Long before Photoshop and Illustrator and all of the many powerful photo manipulation, illustration, and layout software we have today was available, people publishing magazines had two choices: look like crap or have lots of talent. And there were plenty of examples of both. But today I'd like to focus on just one… » 3/29/13 3:46pm 3/29/13 3:46pm

Unholy Child of BMW 2002 and Chevy C-10 Truck Appears In New…

After seeing those bizarro-world disguised Silver Shadows in that Grey Poupon commercial a few weeks back, we Jalops have been hyper-aware of the secret underworld of car-identity modification. Our very own Mike Spinelli found this excellent freak-mobile while closely scrutinizing commercials for secret coded messages… » 3/12/13 4:28pm 3/12/13 4:28pm

Why Was Lincoln Hiring Schlubs For Their Ads In 1969?

The other day Raphael showed me this old ad for a Lincoln Continental Mark III. It was right after he wrote the article about the lovely and occasionally naked rally driver, Inessa Tushkanova. He was still overcome by all the humid eroticism of all those pictures of her, and felt that a post about what must be… » 1/30/13 3:00pm 1/30/13 3:00pm

Let's Hijack Lincoln's Terrible Jimmy Fallon Ad And Actually Talk About…

Oh, Lincoln. Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln. Of the eight car companies named for presidents, you're still one of the two remaining (and related to, since the other is Ford), but I'm really afraid for your future. To many of us watching, it's looks like you've just sat down to watch Our American Cousin in Ford's Theater, if … » 12/05/12 4:00pm 12/05/12 4:00pm

Trade Anything, Even Carpet Scraps, For A Ford This Black Friday!

Normally, I treat Black Friday the same way I treat Tu Bishvat— I've heard of it, know generally what it's about, but leave the actual observance to the harder core Jews or consumers. This year, however, I saw something that makes me much, much more interested in the "holiday": this ad, from a Ford dealer in Laramie,… » 11/20/12 4:30pm 11/20/12 4:30pm

This Ford Focus ST Commercial Was Filmed By You

Ford introduced their 252 hp Focus ST in a unique way, by organizing a street rally and asking spectators to send in their video clips. The final result is professionally edited amateur footage of Tanner Foust and Greg Tracy whipping the speedy little cars around Key West's narrow streets. » 6/05/12 12:00pm 6/05/12 12:00pm