Jalopnik: caption this

Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. D'Oh! Nice.

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:30:00 EST

For this installment of "Caption This," check out this shot and the one below, pulled from the BMW 5 Series press photos and witness model bloat in pictorial form. Just look at the original — it's so tiny.

Caption This: Helmet Used As High Hat

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:30:00 EDT

A helmeted driver awaits a race by relaxing with friends as an unexpected drop in room temperature causes the momentary fogging of his visor. Totally, dudes.

A picture is worth a thousand words and we look to you, the all-knowing, witty commentariat of the Jalopnisphere to provide those words. Can you provide the caption to this photo that'll wow your peers and make the stone-faced Jalopnik editors crack a smile? Image Credit: Double Viking

Caption This: Hoff Hassles New Jaguar XJ Edition

Wes Siler — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:15:00 EDT

A picture's worth a thousand words and we look to you, the all-knowing Jalopnik commentariat to provide the caption to this photo that'll wow your peers and make the stone-faced Jalopnik editors crack a smile.

This shot, snapped during last night's live unveiling of the 2010 Jaguar XJ also gets a cameo by JalopFriend Kimatni Rawlins.

Caption This: Little Tykes Cozy Coupe Edition

The Auto Insider — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:30:00 EDT

This DIYer was spied at a friend's garage this past weekend hoisting up his classic Little Tykes Cozy Coupe on the lift to get in some wrench time while addressing some much needed repairs.

Image Credit: Nick Armstrong

Caption This: Mercedes Safety Concept Models

Wes Siler — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:40:00 EDT

A picture's worth a thousand words and we look to you, the all-knowing, witty commentariat of Jalopnik to provide those words. Can you provide the caption that'll wow your peers and make the stone-faced Jalopnik editors crack a smile?

To make the advanced safety technology on the Mercedes 2009 ESF Concept more human, the German company squeezed a dumpy model into a skin-tight silver safety suit. Wait, what's she spraying that E-Class with? [source: Mercedes]

Unicorn Fiero Makes Carpocalypse All Better

Wes Siler — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:00:00 EDT

It's been a pretty bad day for the car industry, even by Carpocalypse standards. Here's something that'll make any GM fan-boy smile.

To make us all feel better again, here's a beautiful unicorn airbrushed onto the hood of a Pontiac Fiero. There. All better now? [via 4Chan]

We Bet No One Steals His Gas

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 29 May 2009 18:30:00 EDT

When we told you how to protect your gas tank we offered up-armoring as a solution. It looks like this guy took us seriously.

A gigantic armored vehicle filling up at a tiny, civilian gas station is visually amusing. Now it's time for you to add the words to take it to the next level. Caption away! Photo Credit: Sean Gallup/Getty Images

German Prince Disappointed With His New Corvette ZR1’s Interior

Wes Siler — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:30:00 EDT

German Prince Albert von Thurn und Taxis just took delivery of a 2009 Corvette ZR1. Why the sad face? Don't worry, you'll forget about the interior the first time you hit the Autobahn. [Corvette Blogger]

Gotta Stick The Landing

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 27 May 2009 18:00:00 EDT

Citroen did not win the Rally Sardinia this weekend but Dani Sordo and Marc Marti did manage to put their car nose-down into the dirt, which is its own kind of victory.

Maybe when they noticed the "total" written on the hood they took this as an instruction.

Spaniard Dani Sordo and co-driver Marc Marti steer their Citroen C4 WRC during the Monte Lerno's special stage of the auto rally of Sardinia, part of the World Rally Championship on May 23, 2009 near Olbia in Sardina. Finland's Jari-Matti Latvala and co-driver Mikka Anttila, driving a Ford Focus WRC lead the race ahead of teammates Mikko Hirvonen and Jarmo Lehtinen. AFP PHOTO / GIUSEPPE CACACE

Precious Metal-Plating Wars Turn So Hot, Chrome Mercedes SLR Melts

The Auto Insider — Fri, 22 May 2009 10:00:00 EDT

The precious metal-plating cold war that just gave us the gold-plated BMW M5? It just got hot. Really hot. The glare from that M5's apparently melted this chrome Mercedes SLR.

Seriously, we've got no idea what this is or what this is from. All we know is it takes the cheeseball cake if there's a real SLR underneath all that. Although our guess is there isn't one. We hope. [via Autoblog.nl]

Free Hot Dogs Inside!

The Auto Insider — Thu, 21 May 2009 14:30:00 EDT

Wack-job messages like this are usually set aside for windowless cargo vans, but this über-creepy Dodge Neon driver has taken it upon himself to prove that hand-painted molestation messages know no bounds.

This creepy Dodge Neon was spotted on I-275, just west of Detroit, while we were cruising in our contributor, Diddle's Mexican candy-equipped Squeeze Green 2011 Ford Fiesta. Needless to say, we weren't very hungry after seeing this.

The New Prius Will Make You THIS Much More Smug

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:00:00 EDT

In our review, we found the 2010 Toyota Prius to be a major improvement over the last generation. Still, we reserve the right to make smug jokes. Caption away, fellas. [Toyotausa @ Flickr]

Jim Press Hops Out Of Chrysler's Dream

Ray Wert — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 10:20:00 EDT

Fervently hopeful-for-an-Italian-suitor Chrysler President Jim Press hopping out of a Fiat 500 moments ago at Chrysler's reveal of the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee, stating "Ciao!" Wow. We so can't wait to interview him later today.

Someone Is Being Too Generous With Their Thumbs

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 09:30:00 EDT

Like a bad omen or a disastrous Kilroy, our friend Jacques shows up in bad places with bad ideas.

We don't need to recount the ways the new Mercury Cougar sucked, so instead enjoy this hilarious photo and its over-enthusiastic caption:

THE CAT IS BACK! Jacques Nasser, Former President Ford Automotive Operations, today unveiled the all-new 1999 Mercury Cougar at the NAIAS. The new front wheel drive 2-door Cougar features Ford's new edge design and will be in dealers' showrooms this spring.

[Source: FORD]

Someone Has A Bad Idea

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:00:00 EDT

Look, it's former Ford CEO Jacques Nasser in yet another photo only hilarious through the 20/20 vision of history.

Official Caption
FORD TH!NKS AHEAD — Giving the universally recognizeable sign to use your head, Jacques Nasser, retired president and CEO, Ford Motor Company, is pictured today (1/6/99) with the TH!NK Electric City Car at the North American International Auto Show in Detroit. Ford has entered into an agreement to obtain majority interest in Norwegian-based PIVCO Industries, the manufacturer of the two-passenger TH!NK, a lightweight, plastic-bodied zero-emission vehicle.

Yeah, glad to see the Th!nk worked out for you so well, Ford.

[Source: Ford Photo Archives]

What The Hell Is This? A Mclarenzbo?

The Auto Insider — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:30:00 EST

This mess was found at the Pebble Beach Concours D'Elegance. We're wondering what to call it; a Mclarenzbo? Revenzo F1? Or Maybe McFerrarenzenton? Regardless, it's delightfully tacky and we love it for its blatant ugliness.

Someone actually built this thinking it would look good. Ouch!

[via Flickr, Erdero]

ING: Ronald McDonald's F1 Playhouse

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:00:00 EST

Ronald McDonald and F1 rulemeister Max Mosley used to "party" in the 80s. Now we know the price of keeping the clown quiet. Are you a bad enough dude to caption this?

We're actually not quite sure what's going on here, but this photo posted on GrandPrix.com is both creepy and awesome enough to warrant a captioning contest. Maybe McD's is sponsoring the team? Maybe Ronald was just hanging out. Maybe he really did get an audition. Either way, caption away.

[via GrandPrix.com]

Darth Vader Trades In Star Destroyer For Ariel Atom

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 12:30:00 EST

Not one to let a Lotus-driving storm trooper have all the fun, Darth Vader has upped the ante by hopping into an Ariel Atom. Sounds like time for another round of "Caption This."

Apparently, fighting rebel uprisings and making stray cats float around the Death Star (or whatever he does) gets boring after a while, so Darth has picked up an Ariel Atom for a weekend toy. We're wondering if this settles the question of what is the ultimate Vader ride. Probably not. (Hat tip to Eric!)

[Kinod Photography via AtomClub]

What Comes Out When You Crack Open A 2010 Ford Taurus?

Ray Wert — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 12:30:00 EST

After seeing this shot from MSNBC of Ford of the Americas president Mark Fields on-screen above a split-open Ford Taurus, we knew we had the perfect choice for another round of "Caption This." [via MSNBC]

Storm Trooper Trades In Speeder Bike For Something A Little More Agile

The Auto Insider — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:00:00 EST

It appears as though the Imperial Army has turned in their speeder bikes for something a little more agile as evidenced by this Imperial Storm Trooper caught driving a white Lotus Exige. More below.

(Thanks for the tip Fast_Nel!)