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Detroit, 9:53 AM
Mon Dec 7
16 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #cadillacescalade more →

    Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery

    Tiger Woods Cadillac Escalade Crash Scene Photos

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Brian Brian
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    After running this through our collision estimating software (I work for a software company in the space), this appears to be $5,070.66 worth of damage. Obviously without inspecting the vehicle in person, I could be off by a bit but I think this is pretty close. My assumptions was that this is a 2008 Escalade ESV Platinum in Black Mica.

    Tiger, just a word of advice: You can rent 5 top shelf hookers for the cost of this damage. They specialize in discretion; it's sort of their stock in trade, if you know what I mean. I strongly suggest that your consider this next time you're needing a little "strange."
     Reply
    Edited by Brian at 12/03/09 4:06 PM Brian was starred Brian was unstarred
    Image of Brian Brian
    12/03/09

    @Brian: Ok, I was way off. My labor rates were set to zero and I didn't account for front suspension, core support or replacing the front rim/tire.

    Revised bid: $9,900 (or 10 top-shelf hookers)
     Reply
    Brian was starred Brian was unstarred
    Image of LTDScott LTDScott
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    I guess the physics book didn't state "For every hot mistress there is an equally pissed off spousal reaction."
     Reply
    LTDScott was starred LTDScott was unstarred
    Image of FrankGrimes FrankGrimes
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    I think he was reading that book when he crashed. Explains the crash and also the book ricocheted around breaking the windows.

    I am sure the probability theory might explain the odds that a textbook on physics could bounce around a Cadillac interior and break two windows on opposite sides of the car leaving the glass inside.

    I wonder if the book said "Oh no not again."

    Scientists will be studying this for years.
     Reply
    FrankGrimes was starred FrankGrimes was unstarred
    Image of oddfish oddfish
    12/03/09

    @FrankGrimes: I bet next time Tiger just stays home and watches "Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land."

    That seems safer.
     Reply
    FrankGrimes promoted this comment oddfish was starred oddfish was unstarred
    Image of FrankGrimes FrankGrimes
    12/03/09

    @oddfish: I am checking youtube for this "Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land"
     Reply
    FrankGrimes was starred FrankGrimes was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    12/03/09

    @FrankGrimes: Schrodinger's Cat strikes again.
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of FrankGrimes FrankGrimes
    12/03/09

    @Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: Or Toonces.
     Reply
    FrankGrimes was starred FrankGrimes was unstarred
    Image of Skunky Skunky
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    Any pelican feathers?
     Reply
    Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    No, officers. Seriously, everything's alright. I just drove into a door.
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    Looking at the photos, I have to revisit my initial theory. This is clear evidence of a donked 'Sclade committing suicide to escape perpetual embarrassment.
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of dal20402 dal20402
    12/03/09

    @Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: If Slades could be embarrassed, they'd all immolate the second they rolled off the assembly line.

    Instead they show off their dubs.

    This is foul play, not suicide.
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet promoted this comment dal20402 was starred dal20402 was unstarred
    Image of tempesjo tempesjo
    12/03/09

    @dal20402: "Foul play" makes it sound like somebody did something wrong. I'm thinking this was more like the end of Of Mice and Men, where the Escalade is looking off into the distance, dreaming of going out into the country and doing more offroading than parking on the grass at the kid's soccer game, and Elin comes from behind with the golf club to put it out of its misery.
     Reply
    tempesjo was starred tempesjo was unstarred
    Image of Number_Six Number_Six
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    This is a direct quote from the Cadillac site:

    Iconic presence. Luxurious performance. Enhanced fuel efficiency. Whatever your priorities, the Escalade family of vehicles is designed to meet them head on.
     Reply
    Number_Six was starred Number_Six was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    12/03/09

    @Number_Six: Hilarious!
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    How's he supposed to pick up trashy mistresses without the DUB dub's? C'mon, give him a break. A custom set of HRE's would only get him a trophy wife.
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of bmoreDLJ bmoreDLJ
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    Elin Nordegren begged him to buy a Saab 9-7x, but he refused. This was the perfect time to exact her revenge.
     Reply
    bmoreDLJ was starred bmoreDLJ was unstarred
    Image of Maxichamp Maxichamp
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    Can we expect any more from a Stanfurd man?
     Reply
    Maxichamp was starred Maxichamp was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, cube farmer Ash78, cube farmer
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    What's its Nordegren time?
     Reply
    Ash78, cube farmer was starred Ash78, cube farmer was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    12/03/09

    @Ash78, cube farmer: I don't know but she made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    12/03/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery
    They see me ballin'
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    12/03/09

    @Ford Tempo Fanatic: Try catch me golfin' dirty...
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of das_borgen das_borgen
    12/03/09

    @AmishJohn:
     Reply
    AmishJohn approved this comment das_borgen was starred das_borgen was unstarred
    Image of GreenN_Gold GreenN_Gold
    12/03/09

    @Ford Tempo Fanatic: Collidin' dirty.
     Reply
    GreenN_Gold was starred GreenN_Gold was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    12/03/09

    @das_borgen:
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    11/30/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Cadillac Escalade Crash Scene Photos
    Who knew that Swedish models were proficient at hunting Tigers with golf clubs?
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    11/30/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Cadillac Escalade Crash Scene Photos
    Think he was man enough to critique her stroke?

    Keep your left arm straight.

    You're not following through honey.

    And the best one...

    Always keep your eye on the ball.
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    11/30/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Cadillac Escalade Crash Scene Photos
    Ad in the WSJ today, supposedly.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Shadowguitar Shadowguitar
    11/30/09

    @Novaload: Holy crap! That's hilarious if it really ran today!
     Reply
    Novaload promoted this comment Shadowguitar was starred Shadowguitar was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    11/30/09

    @Shadowguitar: Supposedly it did.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
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