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Detroit, 5:23 AM
Wed Dec 2
30 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/23/09
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11/23/09
Your logic is flawed!
11/23/09
Now, how are you ever going to get to your car tonight after work if, on the way to your car, you first have to go half way there? And to get to that halfway point, you first have to go half way there? But, to get to that point, you first have to get half way there? Ad infinitum...
11/23/09
Assuming that you could read something on a vehicle whose relative velocity is a reasonable % of the speed of light, it doesn't matter if it is you or they who are going faster. If you are going faster, the compression of space-time results in the blue shift (wavelength shrinks) while if the other driver is going faster, the expansion of space-time results in the red shift.
In neither case is the relative speed greater than light speed (as of course, this is impossible - you cannot exceed light speed either in relative or 'absolute' speeds, which is interesting - two objects travelling 0.9c relative to a given reference frame, but in opposite directions are still travelling less than c relative to each other), so it is always possible for light to propagate from the 'stickee' to the 'sticker'.
11/23/09
And if my math is correct, by the time I'm finished with the equation, I should be in my car.
11/23/09
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11/23/09
Write the proof on V=IR
08/01/09
07/31/09
07/31/09
"Are you Matt Black?" the slightly disheveled man asked breathlessly.
"Are you accusing the door of being a liar?" I shot back after finally getting my slug of scotch, and thinking this was a stupid way to start a conversation.
"Can you help me?" he asked still out of breath.
Always questions with this guy, I noticed the grease under his nails, he wasn't a dirty guy, just a little out of sorts, but I could tell by the stubborn dirt in the cracks of his hands that he probably worked on a car. A Lot. And that he need some Lava soap. That shit's hard to get off, maybe if he had some lava or something he coulda done a better job.
"That depends on the money, the door doesn't say anything about free investigations" I told him, making it clear that I had only one kind of motivation, money, for buying scotch, and cars, and hookers, and paying off the cops, usually in that order.
"I'm not rich, but I can pay you a few hundred dollars" he said calming down slightly. He didn't realize my going rate was only a c-note, I like cheap scotch... and cars... and hookers... and cops.
"It's a deal" I told him, "what's your problem?"
"I came home from work and my wife's car was gone, I ran straight over here" he said starting to get worked up again.
Damn it, there was a dame involved, a married one at that, that's the worst kind. My hand moved instinctively to my gun, I usually have to use my gun when there's a broad involved. That's what leads to all the scotch... and cars... and hookers... and cops
"I bought her a 1986 Monte Carlo, brand new when we got married" he said, looking like he was fighting back tears. "I've kept that thing running for the last 20 years"
"maybe your wife just went for a drive" I said, hoping this was gonna be the easiest $300 I ever made.
"No, today is Friday her friend Samantha always picks her up on Fridays to go play bridge, and she leaves the Monte Carlo so I can work on it."
I was beginning to suspect foul play, married dames always cheat at cards.
"Do you have any enemies?" I asked hoping he wouldn't say Red Shiny, the most notorious gangster in town.
"No, I'm just a working stiff, that loves his wife" he replied nearly sobbing, he clearly loved that old heap. The car that is.
"Was there any kind of note left, or anything?" I asked hoping to get some kind of lead, so I wouldn't have to just shoot this guy for bringing me an impossible case.
"Well, right in the spot where she always parks the Monte, was a brand new Mini" he said finally losing the battle with the tears.
"Let's go check it out" I said relieved that there might be something I could go on, but afraid it would be a shiny red mini, just like the ones Red Shiny gives all his dames. I drove him back to his place and sure enough right there in the driveway was a brand new Mini. Bright blue.
It was a cute little car, seductively sitting there on the wet pavement. Almost begging to be driven hard, and put away wet. I walked around it admiring the lines, and then I saw it, the tell tale sign.
Just then the mysterious Samantha woman pulled up and his wife got out, I rushed over and grabbed her. Time was running out I had to get a confession out of her. I got right in her face and yelled "Admit it, you traded in the Monte Carlo, for this Mini"
"No, no, I would never do that, my husband loves that car" she said sobbing, but I could see the truth her gorgeous blue eyes.
"Don't lie to me" I said slapping her "I know the truth, I can see it right there on that bumper sticker, my other car was demolished by the government it says"
"OK, OK, you got me" she screamed, " I just couldn't take it any more, that old piece of junk was terrible, the seats were ripped, the AC didn't work, it broke down every week and it got terrible mileage, I couldn't stand driving it any more, so I traded it in, I got an extra 4500 big ones for it too, if that damn dealer hadn't put that sticker on there I would have gotten away with it too, I knew it was a mistake, but it made me laugh"
Her husband was sobbing, "I loved that car"
I left the scene I had solved the mystery and now I had to go get some scotch... and cars... and hookers... and cops.
07/31/09
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07/31/09
Yesterday, when I got back to my truck at the train station, I had a flyer on my windshield from a local Hyundai dealer. I should have saved it, it was rather jerk-ish.
The flyer was only on select vehicles. All of them American and all of them deragatory.
See, I park my Lightning out in the boondocks of the parking lot to save it from the ravaging of the careless, obnoxiously ignorant onslaught of the army of soccer moms that plagues NJ. There are quite a few vehicles of more rarer breeds that park in the same area including a mid 90's Camaro SS, 6 Corvettes, 4 Infiniti G35's, a brand spankin' new 370Z and a couple of hot rodded BMW M3's.
As I was walking back to my truck, I noticed these flyers. I grabbed one blowing around in the lot and read it. The Hyundai dealer basically called the cars it was attached to gas guzzling dinosaurs that the Government has deemed unworthy of road use any longer and I should immediately bring it in and get the largest amount I was entitled to so i could drive around in a brand new Hyundai. It actually had a list of "incentives" that I felt was dubious in it's distinction at best.
Apparently if I buy a Hyundai, I can...
...impress my friends! (not likely)
...save money on gas! (so I can spend what i saved repairing the pile of poo)
...have the luxury of a new car! (there's more luxury in staring at a horses ass while piloting a horsedrawn carriage than in any Hyundai I've ever seen.)
...piece of mind from the reliability of a new car! (Ha! Not in a Hyundai!)
...piece of mind from Hyundai's buy back insurance plan! (If I'm that worried about losing my job, I'm NOT going to buy a new car.)
When I got to my truck, I had a flyer as well as the Corvettes and Camaro which arguably get pretty damn good mileage for what they are. The Infinitis and BMWs did not have flyers even though the BMWs likely got worse mileage than the Corvettes because of modifications.
It's funny to see the profiling of the demographic from a clueless Hyundai dealer.
And a 2001 SVT Lightning is not a "clunker". In fact, it's an LEV! So there Hyundai stealership! Stick that up your butt and smoke it!
07/31/09
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07/31/09
My faded Volvo 240 probably says something about me, and I think it's complimentary.
07/31/09