Holy Crap! Auto Union Type D Going on the Block!

Excuse us for a second while we wipe the drool from our chin. And our chest. And our toes. Unsavory as it might be, we are literally swimming in a sea of saliva at the moment, and here's why. In the 1990s, this Auto Union was discovered in pieces in the former Soviet Union, having been taken back to the Rodina after… »12/02/06 11:15pm12/02/06 11:15pm

ALUMINUM UND SHTEEL! TUNED! Mit Extra Bruce! The Oettinger TT

The bwahs und grills at Oettinger have taken the new Audi TT under their wing and slapped on a body kit and dug into the 2.0 turbo mill to add sort of extra boost to the formerly Bauhausian and now rather butch little Rabbit-based car constructed of a hybrid of aluminum und shteel. Besides the ber-precise 350… »12/02/06 1:15am12/02/06 1:15am

Traction Avant: Wrong-Wheel Drive Never Sounded so Right

We were just IM'ing with commenter Punkey — whose true identity shall be revealed tomorrow, er later today — when he busted out with the best line we've heard from anyone all day besides "You're an asshole." We were debating the relative merits and demerits of the 2CV vs. the Beetle when the topic of Bruce entered… »11/29/06 4:00am11/29/06 4:00am

Combative Sports Elevator: Cayenne With Lambo's Horns

In their ever-increasing quest to infuse Lamboghini with more Bruce than Iron Maiden's frontman's tights after a rousing rendition of "Hallowed be thy Name," Audi has apparently handed off development of the successor to the infamous Rambo Lambo to their sort-of corporate masters at Porsche. The resulting vehicle… »11/27/06 5:15pm11/27/06 5:15pm

Bruce Allows For Super Towing Potential: Touareg Pulls 747

Oh, it's always fun combining our petty little memes. But we will not be using "Hibernigasm" or "Teutonogasm," or even "Rudolfdieselgasm" in this post. You know that 747 that the Stig and stars in reasonably priced Lacettis and Lianas blow past at Dunsfold Airfield during on-track segments of Top Gear? Yes? Yeah,… »11/24/06 2:15pm11/24/06 2:15pm

Do Not Front on My Brabus, Nor Should You Front upon Mein Bruce: Claus Ettenberger's Florida Shop Due in February

We like Claus Ettenberger, a man who can rock a Hugo Boss cap without irony, and will complete a cross-country rally as fast as possible simply to have time to shower, say hello to his family and then head up to Ventura to play fu ball. As an official installer of all things Brabus and AC Schnitzer, not to mention… »11/22/06 9:30pm11/22/06 9:30pm

A Triumph of German Precision: Benz Sells 25th Million Car Since WWII

Given that companies that survived the Second War were essentially given a reboot following the cessasion of hostilities, it makes sense that the brainchild of Gottlieb Daimler and Karl Benz is celebrating the sale of 25 million automobiles since 1945. So they are, having delivered their 25,000,000th vehicle (an… »11/15/06 7:00am11/15/06 7:00am

CHMSL Not Bruce Enough For You? Try Winky The Cat!

If the third brakelight on your 911 simply isn't highly precise enough, might we suggest adding Winky the Cat to your rear parcel shelf? When interfaced with your taillights, Winky's eyes blink in sync with your signals, telegraphing an extra degree of safety to following motorists. Commenter Murilee Martin lamented… »11/14/06 10:30pm11/14/06 10:30pm

Flushing Mad Scrill Down the Terlet: Name Your Porsche

Commenter Larry Forney notes that if you want to emblazon "When the end times come, please know that I supported many charities," across your Porsche's rump, you will merely be out 2931.80 euro. Yes, folks, step right up and Name Your Porsche! For a ridiculous cash outlay (no refunds), you too can have a 911 that… »11/13/06 12:00pm11/13/06 12:00pm