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Posts Tagged “
bruce
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new york auto show
BMW's Busted Balls of Bruce?
Ze Germans are all about über-precision. So why is it that they don't even have a properly functioning set of perpetual motion balls? We found these at the BMW stand at the New York Auto Show, and our first thought was the Bavarians had busted their balls. But it turns out that these are supposedly part of some ironic demonstration of some sort of BMW safety somethingoranother. It's a bit confusing, but we still think the SLR 722 GTR parking struggle over at the Mercedes stand was a bit more embarrassing.
10:45 AM on Mon Mar 24 2008
By marnold
1,421 views,
9 comments
Latest by graverobber: Those are the biggest Truck Nuts I have ever seen. more »
titillating teutons
Carrera Libido
A fine specimen of precision double-xx chromosomal engineering gives a sterling hunka-hunka burnin' Bruce a thrill. Ah, those wacky Germans.
deutschland über eu
Bruce as Economic Motivator
According to BMW honcho Norbert Reithofer, the trick to succeeding in the global marketplace as a German-based company can be summed up in a deceptively simple sentence: "It's all about mastering complexity." Such, then, is the cost of delivering Bruce to the people and existing as a serious component of a newly resurgent economic engine in Deutschland, a nation that saw 2.8% economic growth last year, despite notoriously stringent labor laws and a strong euro. Time dives headlong into the highly-precise morass of German industry. More »
yes, my cars are precise, would you question that?
And Now A Word From Bruce's Patron, Ferry
Ferry Porsche oversteered his way to the great Nürburgring in the sky nearly a decade ago. But sometime in the late '80s or early '90s, the man filmed this awesome promotional spot that puts current Porsche advertising to shame. 959, 928, Porsche's amazing line of sports-racers, the 550, etc. — they're all here. This is the kind of clip that turns small boys into lifelong Porschephiles and commands respect from anyone with even the slightest hint of petrol coursing through his circulatory system. More »
news
Merkel Don't Need No Merkin: German Chancellor Stands Up for Bruce
Angela Merkel just applied a blast furnace to the cockles of our speed-freak hearts by standing up to the EU and asserting that unrestricted autobahn speeds aren't negotiable. The key to the development of the most Brucetastic vehicles in the world, the highways are a wonder of order and precision, at least when compared to the 405. The German chancellor stared down EU Environmental Commissioner Stavros Dimas when he asserted that Germany isn't doing enough to be green. Funny, because when we studied in Germany a decade ago, it was a helluva lot greener than the US is now. Plus, gas prices and the cost and rigorous nature of driver training in Germany, as well as serious TUV inspections, combined with impeccably-maintained roadways make travel by car in the nation, from our anecdotal experience, some of the safest and cleanest in the world. More »
novelties
Precision Is Expensive: Welcome To The BMW Experience
I've come to the conclusion that BMW spends more money on sending promotional materials to their customers than any other automaker. Let's use my mom as an example. Momma Wert just bought BMW's new mini-UV, the X3. Since she bought the new car four months ago, she's received a "welcome letter" and "an exclusive invitation" to an event for new BMW X3 owners as well as "BMW magazine," a monthly "lifestyle" magazine for bimmer owners. Gag. As the topper to these wonderful parting gifts, last week she received a beautifully packaged official "BMW Welcome Kit." This kit, which looks like to cost the equivalent of a monthly payment, congratulates my mother for becoming the "new and proud owner of an X3 3.0si" and according to BMW's US office is meant"To help you gain a deeper understanding of your vehicle, the community that surrounds it and the free-thinking company that created it, we've developed this Welcome Kit. It contains a host of information about your BMW Ownership Experience..."But wait, there's even more precision packaged into this here plastic-wrapped promo-pack. They've enclosed a "Passion for Performance" DVD giving a "closer look at The Ultimate Driving Machine" as well as — get this — books on CD, or what they're calling "a special thank-you gift designed to make your next road trip even more exciting." We'd like to tell you what we thought of the DVD and books-via-CD, but after I took pictures of the package my mother promptly threw the entire thing in the garbage, disustedly exclaiming "I think they should cut the price instead of sending me more crap." My mother's a wise woman. More »
limo
2 Legit 2 Quit: Mercedes 300D Limo
In the sub-basement level parking garage of a hotel in fabulous El Segundo is this forlorn Mercedes 300D limo. Why this fine example of prestige and luxury is sitting on four flat tires is a source of great mystery. With no celebrity or executive to transport, the Rial mesh rims and rear deck lid wing have no one to impress. Perhaps MC Hammer and entourage rode with Bruce legit before the mighty Mercedes quit. More »
clips
Aluminum und Spiel: Audi R8 in Nevada
The Fans of World Cars posted an Audi corporate vid of the new R8, as it's put through some light hoonage in Nevada. Dig the highly precise doppler effect on the RS4's 4.2-liter V8 as it's moderately wrung, though still mellifluous, on road and track. More »
clips
Here In This Place is a Means to Your End: BMW Nurburgring Mini-Doc
Sure, sure, it's Bimmer-centric, but when there's this much Brucestastic Green Hell hoonery, who gives a flying damn? Added bonus? Hans Stuck on the Autobahn pushing 200. Sabine in a helicopter, too. Go ahead, touch it. Feel it. Whoa! [Thanks to the mighty Punkey for the tip.] More »
news
Loverman Dead of Aneurism: M5 Touring Video!!!
Oh man. We typed the headline before we watched the video. So far we're at the 3-minute mark and we've learned that the M5 wagon is made of metal, has an interior complete with seats and an engine that says "V10" on it. Snore-a-roo. There's no sound, either. Wait, we're 3:14 in and the uberest of all uber-wagons (or at least the highest reving) is starting to move. 3:26 and we finally get the engine note. It sounds like five Hyabusas taking part in an Anaconda-style sex ball (don't ask, I'm on a roll). And... you know what? Even something as truly, righteously Bruce as a frigging 500 horsepower station wagon is just murdered by low-quality, low-production, low-rent internet video. And people wonder why we like Top Gear so much. How can this be so boring? Do a donut or something. It's at the 5:30 point and I need more coffee. Still, the car sounds quite good. But why bother — what's the point? Of the video — the rationale behind the car is crystal clear. Christ this is dull. And now it's over. More »
turbo
Detroit Auto Show: Variable Turbo Diesel Bruce
Behold the highly efficient BMW variable twin-turbo diesel engine. The not equal size turbos are there for a reason. The smaller turbo brings forth boost at low engine RPM and exhaust velocity. The larger turbo takes over at higher engine RPM, and handles forced induction chores up to the five-thousand RPM redline. Boost? Try 40 psi. Cleanup is handled by a catalyst and particulate scrubber after the turbos, and another catalyst after the urea injector. The not wee twenty liter urea tank needs filling only every 40K miles or so. The result is maximum diesel Bruce with a minimum of exhaust nastiness.
5:26 PM on Tue Jan 9 2007
By Mike Bumbeck
2,002 views,
15 comments
Latest by uh2l: I drove a BMW 530D for work here in the U.S. and I was amazed at the combinationa of performance and fuel economy. I am another person that would strongly consider buying a diesel here in the U.S. more »
news
Bruce Goes to Malaysia: Brabus to Offer Quick Tuning Service in Bangsar
The evil masterminds at Brabus began their quest for the domination of Malaysia's roadways back in 2000, and with the opening of the Naza Group's new Bangsar facility, will begin offering a quick-tuning service that only takes a few hours. According to Naza executive vice-president of operations Faisal Nasimuddin, "Brabus owners can leave their cars at the showroom for a few hours to install a power kit in the engine and have it tuned for a few thousand ringgit." He then began cackling madly, a skill which he apparently picked up while visting Brabus headquarters in Bottrop, Germany. More »
retro
The Subaru Legacy Touring Bruce
Ol' Thnderblt said it best: "Porsche may have bruce, but only Subaru has Bruce." We have nothing more to add. More »
news
Zey Vill Soon Change Zher Name to Bruce AG
We are willing to be bet that there is no machine shop anywhere in the world with a name as good as this. Well, there might be one in Japan, as we did see a set of wheels in a Clarkson Motorworld clip where he finds a set of wheels at Autobacs that read "SUPER POTENTIAL," among other things. We like having wheels with at least a modicum of potential, and we like our engine-parts machining highly precise. The only thing that concerns us from a marketing standpoint is that German Precision's website...well, let's just say Bruce was in Zuffenhausen, rather than Sunnyvale, CA the weekend this thing was designed. More »
news: industry news
Pith Helmet On, Bruce! Audi Goes to India
We don't know how to say "Vorsprung durch Technik" auf Hindi , but we're sure the boys in Ingolstadt have that covered. Utilizing excess capacity in the Indian Skoda facility in Aurangabad, they plan to send knocked-down A6s from Deutschland and assemble them on the subcontinent. Right now, they're only planning about 300 Indian-built cars for '08, but assuming the market demands it and the Germans find the assembly precise enough, we wouldn't be surprised to see more Indian Audis on the roads as the country's affulent classes grow. More »
retro
Porsche-Diesel! We Didn't Know!
Herr Doktor Ferdinand Porsche was certainly a prolific fellow, this much is known. The gargantuanly-hairball Silver Arrows, the Beetle, and various German military vehicles of the Roughly-987-Less-Than-a-Thousand-Year-Reich. He also sired Ferry Porsche, who gave the world the vaunted Neun Elf, and great-uncled Ferdinand Pi ch, who spearheaded both the Can-Am-killing 917 program and the sales-underperforming Volkswagen Phaeton. More »
news
