Automakers, for some reason, enjoy branching into “lifestyle” products, only to be met with intense ridicule for... decades. But they do it anyway, maybe to add a little spice to their lives other than choking out the word “dynamism” in every sentence. That’s (probably) why this world now has a Land Rover stroller.
You thought there was an escape from the brands, didn’t you? You thought that somehow, some way, the interstellar regions of our universe weren’t polluted with that kind of earth-like junk, yes? But you were wrong. Oh, were you wrong. The total solar eclipse on Monday is for the brands, and nothing else.
For the record, I’m not talking about funny Blipshift stuff or whatever. I’m talking a T-shirt with a Lamborghini splashed across the chest. A polo with a Ferrari’s prancing horse climbing up its sleeve. How acceptable is it to wear something like that?
When I think of an Aston Martin, I think of flowing lines, timeless elegance and the highest quality craftsmanship. Bespoke coachwork. Brogue interior detailing that would make you feel guilty for sitting in and dirtying up. And sneakers. I definitely think sneakers, too.
The woman crossing the street, holding her small daughter’s hand, squinted at the grille of my Genesis G80 while it waited at a red light. Behind the wheel, I watched her face. She wasn’t displeased, exactly—more perplexed. Puzzled at the unfamiliar grille and the winged logo on the nose of the car, flashing the word …
Everybody knows how much Ferrari loves to brand itself with things like shoes, backpacks, jackets, and yeah, even damn fanny packs. We’ve even had a lot fun making fun of Bugatti’s catalog of rich people shit. But what about us normies?
Oh, hello there. I just returned from the most wonderful trip up to the lake. Everyone was there. You should have come—but nooo you had to work so you can pay rent because you’re poor. I keep forgetting!
Over at Sports Illustrated, you can read an article about Tom Brady’s new line of sleepwear for A Company That Makes Stretchy Workout Stuff. The article contains the following lines:
Imagine you are walking past that swanky Cadillac dealership and you see the new CT6 you’ve been hearing about. And then you see salesmen inside leering at you, ears perked up, ready to pounce. You hurry away, intent on avoiding the dealership interaction, but you’re still curious about the Cadillac. What do you do to…
“Our issue is not the quality of the product,” Cadillac’s brand director Melody Lee told Bloomberg. “Our challenge is relevance.”
Sometimes automaker Twitter accounts can post cool stuff. This morphing video of Nissan GT-R generations makes me nauseous though. [Nissan on Twitter]
Car companies try to position themselves as “hip” or “cool” or “high tech” or “exciting,” in an effort to disguise that they’ve all peddled the same boring econoboxes for decades now. So we devised a test to suss out these imagined differences.
Our friends at Lifehacker today had a good feature on why being fiercely loyal to any one brand is a terrible idea. They framed much of their argument through the lens of tech and the Apple vs. Android debate. Naturally, I wonder how this applies to cars. How loyal are you to any one specific car brand?
Every year, when a new tech product is announced, the world divides into two kinds of people: people who line up to buy the New Shiny Thing, and people who rant about how New Shiny Thing sucks. Both of those groups of people are chumps. Loyalty to a brand—whether it’s love or hatred—is a poison that makes you stupid.
If you’re a Star Wars fan and an Uber user in New York City, you’re in luck. Get ready to pull out your phone and wait reluctantly by it for a #branded Dodge Charger Hot Wheels Storm Trooper Hellcat Uber to come your way.
Marketing company Brand Keys surveys thousands of people every year, to rate companies on 35 different "values." One of those is "patriotism," not in terms of where the a company actually makes things or employs people, but purely how "American" they appear in public perception. Only two automakers made the top 25.
When you close your eyes and think of California, what famous brand comes to mind? Is it Apple? Facebook? Google? Or some movie studio? What about Texas? New York? Florida? These are the most famous brands of each state. The Corporate States of America, if you will.
I think there's been some sort of unspoken, secret agreement between car designers and automotive engineers where designers get all the celebrity and coffee table books about them, as long as they leave space on the cars to stick badges explaining all the technical stuff the engineers worked so hard for. Maybe there's…