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1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
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Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
Hell, why stop there?

Plymouth Cambridge:

Mercury Montclair:

Studebaker Lark:

et cetera

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Six Flags Over Tomsk
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
As great as a Newport Newport is, I think I'll stick with a Marlboro Syclone.

Just unbolt the tonneau cover and you can stack the hookers as high as you like!
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dwegmull comments for the purpose of obscurity
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
Which car should I use for my tribute to the "long life" brand of cigarettes Yes there is such a brand name, in Taiwan: [www.tobacco.org])? Maybe a Volvo 240 or a model T?
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dwegmull comments for the purpose of obscurity
07/05/09

@Dwegmull, preview free since March 2009.: Damn lack of preview: there should be a ( before the word "Yes"...
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Paul Y. don't drive too fast.
07/05/09

@Dwegmull, preview free since March 2009.: I'd figure an OM617-powered W123 Benz.
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BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk

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smalleyxb122
07/05/09

@BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ with quadrozontal expierience: Clearly that poor fellow paid a lot.
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smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred

JCWhitless
07/05/09

@smalleyxb122: And we are all paying a little bit when we view that image. I for one just paid for my lunch and a fair bit of dry cleaning.
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JCWhitless
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
Actually, the whole inquiry was...

"How many dead prostitutes will fit in the trunk? I need to know if it will hold more than five, as my daily commute route has changed due to carpooling and my dump site will only be accessible on the weekends. Thanks!"

If feel excluding the phrase "dump site" really makes the question seem cheap, and forced.

Also, you do want to stock up on pine tree air fresheners and new weatherstripping, as a non-air tight seal won't lock in the freshness (or the tell tale bugs) as well as fresh rubber applied to the body of your secret hooker awesome morgue (on wheels).
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Novaload
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
To wit:

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Novaload
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
Crack. In both appearance and price.

I always thought these MoPars were very Mercury like in design--this nose looks a lot like a Monterey. Wait, maybe Mercury borrowed from MoPar.
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tonyola
07/05/09

@Novaload Misses Murilee: Probably the other way around. Elwood Engel went from Ford to Chrysler in 1961 to replace Virgil Exner as styling chief. Engel got rid of the Exner weirdness by the mid-1960s, making the cars look much more conventional - i.e. boxier and Ford/Mercury-like.
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Novaload
07/05/09

@tonyola: Ah! Nothing like a fact to help clear a thing up!
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Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred

Boosted Lego Wagon
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
I'll wait for the superleggera version. Less tar.
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Boosted Lego Wagon was starred

Unevolved has three moving parts.
07/05/09

In reply to 1965 Chrysler Newport Is Homage To Cigarette Pack, Seller Claims It Fits 10 Dead Prostitutes In Trunk
"Dead Hooker" is a standard unit of measurement as far as I'm concerned.

Volume, quality of motels, it's a fairly flexible unit.
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bzr
07/05/09

@Unevolved has three moving parts.: I expect the "dead hooker" unit to become standardized across the board, and make its way into automotive industry publications immediately.

"For the 2010 model year, BMW engineers were able to maximize volume efficiency in their Z4 sDrive35i model by increasing trunk space from 2.6 dead hookers to 3.75 dead hookers, despite the addition of a metal folding top." -Society of Automotive Engineers article
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JCWhitless
07/05/09

@Unevolved has three moving parts.: However, it does need standardization, as ones taste for paid services can change from John to John. For instance, those who prefer hatchbacks may get a higher dead hooker ratio if said escorts are amputees, while one who prefers them on the Krispy Kreme side of things may find an Avalanche suitable for one and a half.

Perhaps a clear notation or simple to reach chart on the window sticker of all new vehicles is in order.
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Murilee Martin
07/05/09

@JCWhitless: Yeah, there needs to be a Standard Dead Hooker Unit (SDHS) for such things. Otherwise you'd have carmakers claiming their trunks boast space for 11 dead hookers, based on the dimensions of 80-pound meth-shooting lot lizards.
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Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred

JCWhitless
07/05/09

@Murilee Martin: Perhaps the folks at 'The Smoking Gun' could help us determine if this 'Smoking Car' had an accurate SDHS rating of 10?
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JCWhitless
07/05/09

@JCWhitless: [www.amazon.com]

That book was no help, btw.
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BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
07/05/09

@Murilee Martin: @JCWhitless: It´s not that difficult at all, first you add the weight of these 3 hookers mean alive hooker size factor

After this you shoot them all and cut em in sizes that will fit in a standart plastic carbage bag. Count the amount of bags multiply by the mean alive hooker size factor and divide by 3 This is the Standard Dead Hooker Unit (SDHS)
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BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
07/05/09

@BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ with quadrozontal expierience: Hamsters

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JCWhitless
07/05/09

@BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ with quadrozontal expierience: I detect a large pattern in your posts as of late...
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Six Flags Over Tomsk
07/05/09

@Murilee Martin: Great point, but would there have to be an approximate metric equivalent for our foreign friends?

I can see it now: "The new Volkswagen Fhqwhagad's boot measures 233 centiwhores."
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BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
07/05/09

@JCWhitless: Why you think I´m hiding myself here in Brazil?
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Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
07/05/09

@Tomsk is tiltin' and shiftin':

Centiwhores FTW...!

By logical extension, we'll be measuring shipping containers and grain silos in kilowhores and megawhores...
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