This is The Morning Shift, our one-stop daily roundup of all the auto news that's actually important — all in one place at 9:00 AM. Or, you could spend all day waiting for other sites to parse it out to you one story at a time. Isn't your time more important?

Mercedes has a problem. The 2013 Mercedes-Benz SL is a volume tourer for the brand, but when someone becomes aware the SLS AMG exists they suddenly find it hard to find the SL interesting.

Sure, convertibles get no respect, but German tuner Brabus — home of the twin-turbo V12 — has nonetheless transformed the bougie E-Class Cabriolet into an 800-hp desert blaster. Respect comes at a price, though. Here, it costs $680,000.

A shopping excursion for Prada goodies ended in a five-story plunge from a parking garage in a Brabus-tuned Mercedes-Benz ML. The 32-year-old woman driving was injured but survived in the accident, which occurred yesterday near Komarovsky market in Minsk, Belarus.

In the world of European tuners, BRABUS usually gets points balancing style and substance, including the criminally insane E V12 Coupe. Their take on the SLS AMG, however, is all about getting the Benz wider than Kirstie Alley.

Start with an already-tuned-by-AMG SL65 Black Series, fit it with larger turbos, huge brakes, a new transmission, then wrap it in black vinyl and put some weird plastic on the hood. Voila, the Brabus Vanish — an 800 HP SL.

I see a red door and I want it painted black. No colors any more; I want them to turn black. I see the girls drive by in their murdered-out, V12-powered Mercedes-Benz E-Class and... no, wait, it's already black. Done!

It's no secret mad Russian hockey player Alexander Ovechkin has a taste for speed and insane cars like the Mercedes SL65 AMG Black Series and this Brabus-tuned S-Class. His taste in vanity plates? Not quite so creative. (H/T to Josh!)

Insane German tuner Brabus stuffed their 750 HP 6.3-liter Biturbo V12 into a GLK and raced it around the Nardo high-speed track. The result? At 200.3 MP Brabus GLK V12, making it the fastest street-legal SUV in the world.

They're calling the wheel fairings on the 2010 Brabus E V12 "Speed Spads." Don't laugh too hard, with 800 HP and 1047 Lb-Ft, it'll rub dirt in your face all the way to 230 MPH.