bmwx1xdrive28i - Jalopnik

posts about #bmwx1xdrive28i more →
BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
BMW X1 Ready For Mom-Centric Launch

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

MushyHeirloom
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
All right... lower it about two inches... good. Now cut that damn beltline another... okay... that's about right, inch and a half? Good. Go for it, that's perfect.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

Bumblebee
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
BMW: April Fools Day is April 1.
Reply

Bumblebee was starred Bumblebee was unstarred

domino
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
i'm not taking a peak, and i'm definitely not having a climax either. quite the opposite, in fact.
Reply

domino was starred domino was unstarred

DoctorNine
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Hideous. I will never buy/drive a Bimmer that begins with X. The 1-series wagon is the appropriate BMW vehicle if you want a car this sized. This X1 thing isn't going off-road, no matter what anyone says.
Reply

DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred

pauljones
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Woo hoo hooooo!

hoo hooooooooo!

BMW just hit the wall

They always had it all

One Prozac a day

Not owned by a CPA

Their dreams went out the door

When they turned 44.

They had so many fans,

What happened to their plans?

They were gonna be a Buick

They were gonna be a star

They were gonna make cars fast

Those ass-engined Nazi slot cars were the past

But their tiny new SAV is now the enemy

Looks at its average life

And nothing, has been...

all right since...

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X2

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's three pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

(1985)

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

BMW's made all the classics

They know every ring time

"2002 Turbo", "Elvis in a 507"

Even "E30 M3"

They rocked out to Wham!

Not a big Limp Bizkit fan

Thought they'd get a hand

On the market of Buick and GM

Where's the Isetta, three wheeled awesomeness?

And what's the other car that starred in Transporter?

When did reality become SAVs?

What ever happened to M5s, 850Csis

(and the radio)

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X1

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's three pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

We hate time, make it stop

When did E34s become classic cars?

And when did SAVs wear BMW badges?

Please make this stop, stop, STOP(tick tick tick) and bring back

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X1

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's three pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X1

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's two pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985
Reply

pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred

Miscellanea
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Methinks that the Bavarian luxury automakers might soon find themselves deeply entrenched in detroit-style over saturation of products.
Reply

Miscellanea was starred Miscellanea was unstarred

Muscles Marinara
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Car brands keep trying to downsize the bare minimum size requirement of an SUV, so that lacrosse moms can trade in their Sequoias and Yukons for something that isn't, God forbid, one of those horrid minivans or worse, a station wagon... you know, something that actually does what it looks like its supposed to do. This does nothing for me. What's next, a lift-kitted Smart car?
Reply

Muscles Marinara was starred Muscles Marinara was unstarred

pauljones
07/01/09

@Muscles Marinara: Don't be a hater.

Reply

pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred

pauljones
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Why? I mean, just frickin' why?

This makes no sense. Considering the backlash against things that are perceived to be SUVs (and let's face, that's how BMW is marketing it), it just makes no sense to arbitrarily add another SUV to their lineup, particularly in light of CAFE.

If they were looking to downsize their car line by getting rid of the X5, which, as it is, is only slightly bigger than the X3, and allowing the X1 to take the position of the X3, then this would make sense.

But as a random addition to the lineup, this makes no sense.
Reply

pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred

Hello Mister Walrus
07/01/09

@pauljones: Think about it this way - if people in America who average 5'10" buy X3s, then you could probably sell a smaller, cheaper X1 to lots of people in other countries who average 5'6". It is not a random addition to their lineup - they are just taking advantage of a market niche that they had not previously participated in. It's a smaller market than say, the market for the 3 series, but it's probably big enough for them to be profitable.
Reply

pauljones
07/01/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: Which still doesn't explain it's point in in the US market considering CAFE, or any market considering that the rest of the world already has the 1-series in 3-door and 5-door form. I think that someone has slipped something in the BMW product planning guru's beer.
Reply

pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred

electricarchie
07/01/09

@pauljones: If this thing is a misfit, where does the x6 come in? Unwed backwoods cousin you only see at holidays?
Reply

electricarchie was starred electricarchie was unstarred

Hello Mister Walrus
07/01/09

@pauljones: This is obviously not designed for the US market, but since they're already making it, they might as well bring some over. It won't be a high volume seller, but it will probably sell better than say, the Acura TL. I don't think the 1-series hatchback makes this redundant. Why do people buy X3s or X5s when there are 3-series and 5-series wagons? It's exactly the same concept, only with a smaller, cheaper car.
Reply

pauljones
07/01/09

@electricarchie: We try not to talk about the X6. Or the 5-series GT.

@cchannel: Wait, what?

@Hello Mister Walrus: And yet, I am willing to bet that if the X1, X3, and X5 didn't exist, the sales of 1-series, 3-series, and 5-series wagons would skyrocket.
Reply

pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred

BMW_DOWN_SHIFT
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
where the fuk does this put the X3? I'm 5"10 and took the test drive in the X3 with 3 friends of similar height and build and it was tight.

What is this thing gonna fit besides 17-20 year old drivers?

fuk u bmw and these stupid contraptions. if it wasnt for the 3 series and 6 & 7 series i would be ready to ditch my love for your brand
Reply

BMW_DOWN_SHIFT was starred BMW_DOWN_SHIFT was unstarred

pauljones
07/01/09

@BMW_DOWN_SHIFT:

i wud have to say that if u are five point ten inches, then u shud have no problems fitting in teh x3 or even x1.

even if u were 5'10", u still shud not have a problem, unless u r wider than u r tall.

but yah, fuk bmw.

cadillac ftw, biznitches!
Reply

pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred

Miscellanea
07/01/09

@pauljones: ISWYDT
Reply

Miscellanea was starred Miscellanea was unstarred

Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp
07/01/09

@pauljones: ROTFLOL!!!1
Reply

TheGuinnessTooth
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
BMW had a 1 series hatchback, but they didn't think it would sell in the US, so they built a coupe. Then they realized some people might prefer extra utility from their 1s, so they built a tall hatchback. These guys are going in circles. In a few months we'll be seeing raised 1 series coupes to compete against the raised 1 series hatchback.
Reply

TheGuinnessTooth was starred TheGuinnessTooth was unstarred

Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp
07/01/09

@TheGuinnessTooth: It's like they saw all the weird niches that Subaru couldn't fill at a price 40% lower and figured they'd have a crack at it.

I'm waiting for the 3amino.
Reply

Tyson
07/01/09

@TheGuinnessTooth: Wait, are you trying to say BMW is going to build an AMC Eagle-fighter? That would be pretty sweet, if 20 years too late.
Reply

Tyson was starred Tyson was unstarred

deus ex wagon
07/01/09

@Tyson: It's actually intended to be a smaller alternative to the Aztek in today's fuel-conscious market.
Reply

deus ex wagon was starred deus ex wagon was unstarred

DoctorNine
07/01/09

@deus ex wagon: Well played...
Reply

DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred

Tossed Accord taco salad over Malibu face
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Just when I thought BMW branding and model niches.. had gone far enough...

They pump this out.

Meanwhile the 3 series wagon is becoming the do-do bird...

Horrible world we live in when BMW has to compete with the RAV4, CRV, Patriot, Liberty, Compass... among the shit from Hyun / Kia..

Sad day.
Reply

Hello Mister Walrus
07/01/09

@Tossed Accordtaco salad over Malibu: What are you talking about? This is as much of a Kia competitor as the 5 series is competitor to the Honda Accord.
Reply

Timtoolman, sporadically speaking
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Personally, I love the thought of the resurgence of the hatchback. This is too cool with the manual tranny.
Reply

Syrax
07/01/09

@Timtoolman, now with power tools!: They already have a hatch, the 1er:

This is just another useless unnecessary overlapping product.
Reply

Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred

CorporateFelon
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: Considering they dont sell that version of the 1 series in america, it's not that much of an overlapping product.

I keep saying the X1 would look so much better as a 2+2. Shorten the length a tiny hair and extend the door.
Reply

CorporateFelon was starred CorporateFelon was unstarred

bmoreDLJ
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: But the X1 is sooooo much prettier...
Reply

bmoreDLJ was starred bmoreDLJ was unstarred

Syrax
07/01/09

@CorporateFelon: The X1 is based on the same platform as the 3 Series Touring. There's your overlap.
Reply

Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred

Syrax
07/01/09

@bmoreDLJ: I don't like the 1er hatch, but I think it looks better than this one.
Reply

Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred

brandegee
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: Agreed. This is an ugly amorphous pile with a high center of gravity.
Reply

brandegee was starred brandegee was unstarred

MushyHeirloom
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: ...and so anyone whose mind isn't filled with (this colour brown) will buy a 3-er wagon with AWD.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

engineerd
06/02/09

In reply to BMW X1 Ready For Mom-Centric Launch
As a BMW fanboy, I don't like the X line. However, I do realize that there are plenty of soccer moms out there whose husbands have been totally whipped and will pay for this. If BMW can mark these up enough to continue development of the M cars then I am all for it.
Reply

engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred

WhisperingBomb
06/02/09

@engineerd: Oh, yeah, the M series is just great! M used to mean more than "Money" now they have the x6 and x5 M's and M from BMW is no more exclusive than and AMG or and Eddie Bauer Ford Explorer. The last M car was the E39 M5.

BMW jumped the shark after the E46 M3.

BTW. I currently own a 90 325ix, 89 325i and 88 535i (I may have been counted as a fan boy at one point too)
Reply

WhisperingBomb was starred WhisperingBomb was unstarred

domino
06/02/09

@WhisperingBomb: hi, i'm domino. come here often?
Reply

domino was starred domino was unstarred

pauljones
06/02/09

In reply to BMW X1 Ready For Mom-Centric Launch
Something tells me this will be more of a snobby cheerleader special car.
Reply

pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred

Woodgrain
06/02/09

In reply to BMW X1 Ready For Mom-Centric Launch
Does the M*LF license plate portray their target customer?
Reply

Woodgrain was starred Woodgrain was unstarred

jodark
06/02/09

@Woodgrain: +1 For observational skills.
Reply

jodark was starred jodark was unstarred

Wes Siler
06/02/09

@Woodgrain: Holy crap I didn't see that. Awesome.
Reply

Wes Siler was starred Wes Siler was unstarred

LuciferV8
06/02/09

@Woodgrain: I believe you are right, sir.
Reply

LuciferV8 was starred LuciferV8 was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#bmwx1xdrive28i

Jalopnik

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik

BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader

BMW X1 Ready For Mom-Centric Launch

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment