We're not yet sure whether BMW will unveil their new X5 at the Detroit Auto Show, but photos of the car have surfaced early over at the Malaysian website Cars, Bikes & Trucks this morning.

Obviously this BMW X5 is a product of Germany but if you can look beyond that fact and ignore the lack of Soviet Era design you'll see a vehicle that is in its own way truly Russian.

If you're going to huff paint, why sit around in the basement playing Grand Theft Auto? The real thing's more thrilling and you might actually die. That was, apparently, the train of thought for an Australian 17-year-old who got high on paint, stole a BMW X5, and eluded police in a high speed chase around Brisbane.

BMW is launching a new high-performance, 3.0-liter inline six for its M cars. No surprise yet. It also has three turbochargers, produces 381 hp and 546 lb-ft of torque, and only revs to 5,400 rpm. Ruh Roh. Yes, it's a diesel.

The gentleman above is Dumitru Cârstea, a businessman from the western Romanian city of Timişoara. After receiving a wheel clamp on his black BMW X5 for parking it illegally, Cârstea protested by taping blocări ilegale (“illegally clamped”) to the window of his car, then waving his exposed penis in the general…

"Hey Deiter, hold mein bier und watch this" is what we imagine the moron behind the wheel of this BMW X5 is saying before he attempts a very unsuccessful jump-to-barrel-roll stunt. That'll definitely leave a mark.

Last week brought us the worst BMW parking job ever, resulting in a crushed Hyundai Elantra. Hyundai Canada stepped up and gave the Elantra's owner a new one. Aww, isn't PR cute? [AutoNorth.ca]

The driver of a BMW X5 experienced some "unintended acceleration," driving over two cars in the Extreme Fitness parking lot in Thornhill, Ontario. Of course, the driver decided a hit-and-run was a good idea. It wasn't. (H/T to all!)

The BMW X5 Security Plus is the first Class 6 armored vehicle publicly available direct from the manufacturer. Now little Billy and Suzie will be safe from AK-47 fire as mommy drives them to school.

Just when we were beginning to lose faith in BMW, rumors begin to surface on a crazy new triple turbocharged diesel engine for an X5 Performance Diesel package. Intriguing would be an understatement.