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Detroit, 12:49 AM
Sat Dec 12
24 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #bmwsecurity more →

    BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly

    BMW Launches Up-Armored 5-Series Security
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    "...designed to combat criminal threats such as robbery, abduction or carjacking, however, additionally for employment in hot spots in which the AK 47 has become a typical firearm used by assailants."


    Um, like Tijuana or Ensenada...?

     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of Maxx Cracker Maxx Cracker
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    I want an Abrams tank. Anybody know someone who can get me a good deal?
     Reply
    Maxx Cracker was starred Maxx Cracker was unstarred
    Image of P161911 probably shoudn't have P161911 probably shoudn't have
    04/15/09

    @Maxx Cracker: Sorry, no Abrams. Your best bet is going to be a T-72. You might try these guys: [www.tanksforsale.co.uk]
     Reply
    P161911 probably shoudn't have was starred P161911 probably shoudn't have was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    This would make more sense on an X6, seeing as every time I see one, I have a inexplicable desire to shoot the driver.
     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of Jo Schmo Jo Schmo
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    Meh, I'm holding out for the astonishingly armored Q5
     Reply
    Jo Schmo was starred Jo Schmo was unstarred
    Image of Billy Seroyer Billy Seroyer
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    Why do the Police in Europe drive such nice cars, like Volvo's and BMW's. U.S. cops drive the cheapest crapyest cars you can buy. (Crown Victoria's, Malibu's, Charger's) car no one wants, EX Charger's, they make bad ass cop cars, and road car.
     Reply
    Billy Seroyer was starred Billy Seroyer was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/15/09

    @Billy Seroyer: The Malibu's not bad, nor is it a common cop car. The W-body (Impala) has sucked for the last decade, and it's fairly common as a police cruiser, though not so much as the plastic-fantastic Charger or Carter-era P71 Vic.


    That being said, if we're going for cheap and crapy [sic], I'd like to see an Aveo with a lightbar and push-bars.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    Now when I transport Cocaine, I can do it safely!
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of bmoreDLJ bmoreDLJ
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    The only way I'd buy this is if the tailgate badge says "X5 SECURITY PLUS" in the awesome BMW model number font.
     Reply
    bmoreDLJ was starred bmoreDLJ was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/15/09

    @bmoreDLJ: Like those Braun Ability handicap vans with "BRAUN ENTERVAN" written in the Caravan font where "GRAND CARAVAN" usually goes?
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player got drunk and A strolling player got drunk and
    04/15/09

    @Baron Plushroom von Falconpunchen: I flipped two shits the first time I saw that. That's awesome. Kinda like
     Reply
    A strolling player got drunk and was starred A strolling player got drunk and was unstarred
    Image of Ben Wojdyla Ben Wojdyla
    04/15/09

    @Baron Plushroom von Falconpunchen: You know what's funny? My brother is a program engineer at Braun. Their CEO is handicapped (thus the business) and he's got all sorts of awesome customized stuff. There's a twin-turbo Viper converted to joy-stick control counted among his fleet.
     Reply
    Ben Wojdyla was starred Ben Wojdyla was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/15/09

    @Gutpunch McRodbender, a strolling player's understudy: Yeah, I didn't even think to link that. And I flipped too. "THAT IS AWESOME", said I. Perhaps I overreacted. Nah.


    @Ben Wojdyla: I couldn't think of a cooler executive. Uses his own products, owns a joysticked Viper!

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player got drunk and A strolling player got drunk and
    04/15/09

    @Ben Wojdyla: Twin-turbo?! Damn. That's seriously cool.


    My experience with joystick control is limited to a so-equipped Mercury Sable drivers'-ed car. That and I used a Party City cane to work my pedals on my way out on Halloween. That... well, it's a good thing I didn't have a clutch to deal with.


    I wonder if he'd do a special-order joystick performance car if anyone so desires. The company's doing a great thing already, in my book, but reading "Braun EnterViper" on the back of a car would be most excellent.

     Reply
    A strolling player got drunk and was starred A strolling player got drunk and was unstarred
    Image of Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho.
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    Meh, call me when they put the south africa-style flamethrower.
     Reply
    Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. was starred Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. was unstarred
    Image of cchannel BLT cchannel BLT
    04/15/09

    @Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho.: Or the roof mounted gatling gun
     Reply
    cchannel BLT was starred cchannel BLT was unstarred
    Image of P161911 probably shoudn't have P161911 probably shoudn't have
    04/15/09

    @cchannel: I would settle for just a gun port in the driver's door. So it will take a hit from a AK-47, but what about the RPGs. 7 out of 10 third world hitmen that have AK-47 also have RPGs.
     Reply
    P161911 probably shoudn't have was starred P161911 probably shoudn't have was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    I think I can see the Bangle influence in the way the armor is applied. Or maybe not.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    This is a great idea.


    I have a feeling the world is going to get much more violent.


    I guess BMW really put Audi in checkmate with this one. And Audi thought they were talking about chess.


    Either that or BMW figured Audi would get real mad about the checkmate ad and bring out the heavy guns.

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, cube farmer Ash78, cube farmer
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    When I think "need more security" and "package," I often think of X5 right away.
     Reply
    Ash78, cube farmer was starred Ash78, cube farmer was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/15/09

    @Ash78: I think about getting a Hummer.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Jo Schmo Jo Schmo
    04/15/09

    @Baron Plushroom von Falconpunchen: I often dream of getting a Hummer in an X5.
     Reply
    Jo Schmo was starred Jo Schmo was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    04/15/09

    @Sir Jorgen Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberger... VIII: Wow, this flu must be making me really slow... The first thing I thought was "Why the hell would you want a cheap-ass plastic interior in a BMW...? ...or would that be the other way...?"


    After much analysis, I finally figured it out. Well played. <3 clicked.

     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    Because you think you're that important. Mostly harmless, although it might encourage a bit more road rage than found in your average Beemer pilot.


    Is there a performance increase to offset the additional weight and handling penalty?

     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of Syrax Syrax
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    The main star of Fast and Furious: Brazil Shooting.
     Reply
    Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred
    Image of wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    Think I can get this over an M?


    Two scoops of worthless in every box!

     Reply
    wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was starred wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/15/09

    In reply to BMW X5 Security Plus Package: For When Soccer Practice Turns Deadly
    For Third World politicians and utter cunts.


    Not that there's always that much of a difference, aside from the bleached hair and two children.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
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